Neighbors Page #6

...except you and me.

You know what we're gonna do now,

Earl, just you and me?

What?

Have breakfast. Are you hungry?

I'm starving, but there's no food

in the house.

Well, if you have ketchup

and hot water...

...I could make you tomato soup.

Hey.

I got a better idea. We'll go to the city.

We'll go anyplace you like.

What kind of food?

French, Spanish, fish?

- I like Greek.

- Greek. Great.

I know a great Greek restaurant.

- I'll go get a cab. I'll get ready...

- Oh, Earl?

Yeah?

I know just who I want for dessert.

Ramona.

Ramona?

Ramona?

Ramona.

Surprise!

See, buddy, I got you breakfast.

Hey, Daddy, Vic brought

my five favourite junk foods.

Elaine, get out the china. We'll inhale

this poison on the good stuff.

- Where's all that plum sauce?

- It's in here, it's in here. Wait a second.

Would you like some wine, Enid?

You know, I've been thinking, Enid.

For the past couple of years...

...things around here have been...

...stagnant.

Not uncomfortable, mind you, but...

...changeless. Tedious.

Except for last night,

with Vic and Ramona.

They're a sign. They're a revelation.

They're squeezing the maximum yield

out of life.

Let's get back to the world

of the living.

Let's move back to the city.

Or move to the country.

I mean, this is neither.

What do you say?

I understand your restlessness, Earl.

But true change comes only

from within.

- Would you pass the wine?

- You feel it too?

Not a bit.

But I do think the city would be

a good idea.

For you, in any case.

But I meant for both of us.

If we had the money...

...I think I'd go back to school.

I'd like to...

...intensify my Native American

art studies.

We'll have the money.

We'll sell the house.

Vic, here, will buy it.

He's rolling in dough.

Why do you think he crashed his plane

into his house and burned it down?

Why, Daddy?

For the insurance money. Right, Vic?

How much you have the old place

insured for?

He didn't have any insurance.

He never does.

Of course he had insurance.

The bank wouldn't give him a mortgage

without insurance.

He didn't have a mortgage.

You paid cash?

You rented?

Do you remember

when your neighbour, Mrs. Warren...

...moved to Riverside Nursing Home

after her husband died?

Well, that's when we met her.

Vic used to dress her all the time.

Mrs. Warren would always

ask for Vic.

Well, when she died...

...the house was empty,

so we moved in.

Vic said she wouldn't mind.

I said it was a steal.

This is really something.

You two ought to be on 60 Minutes.

Yeah, but now we don't have

no place to live.

Daddy, they could live in my room.

Dick's invited me to Florida

for a couple of weeks.

His mom won't be there.

She said it's okay.

You stay out of this. You're not going

anywhere and Dick is off-limits.

Maybe that's not a bad idea

that Elaine had.

I mean, they could stay

in the guest room.

I don't know. That room's loaded

with a lot of furniture and junk.

If we did stay, we'd really need

the big room, facing the road.

The master bedroom?

Hey, don't worry, we'd earn our keep

around here.

How wonderful.

- No heavy yard work, though.

- Hernia.

Well, I don't know, it is my bedroom.

I kind of have a sentimental

attachment to it.

I'll tell you what.

With a scrub-down

and some carpentry...

...we could make conditions liveable

in the garage.

Garage, huh?

Right. That's it, then.

Ramona, let's hit the road.

Please. Look, I was just kidding.

I want you to stay. Both of you.

You're worth it.

Please stay.

As my friends.

Please.

Stay here, in the outer limits

of the dead-end zone?

Nothing personal, but life

at the end of the road...

...just ain't for Captain Vic

and Empress Ramona.

Sorry, folks, but you can

colour us gone.

Boy, they were neat.

They were beyond neat.

They were extraordinary...

...unique...

...special.

Earl, can you write me a check?

I'm gonna need some money

this week.

- How much?

- How much is in the account?

I don't know.

Where's the checkbook?

The checkbook!

- I'm hungry again. You wanna eat?

- Oh, yeah.

Hold it. Hold it right there, folks.

All right.

Let me have it.

What are you talking about

now, Earl?

My checkbook. Not that there's

any money left in my account.

That's what you think of me?

I take your hospitality,

I break bread with your family.

You still think I'd rob you?

Look, just give me the checkbook.

I'm not even gonna talk about

the $32 you stole from me last night...

...when you were

supposed to get dinner...

...and cooked that bogus

spaghetti meal instead.

Your checkbook.

It's on the table in the hall,

next to your wallet.

My wallet! Enid?

Look on the table in the hall.

Do you see my wallet

and checkbook there?

Elaine, get ready to call the police.

Oh, Earl.

Hey. Kojak.

How much is left in the account?

There's $310 left in the account.

Vic spent $17 on pants and a shirt

from Goodwill.

And there's a receipt here for $32...

...from Mr. Fong's Fast Chow.

Do you want me to call

the National Guard now, Daddy?

- Elaine, get the car.

- What for?

Just do as I ask.

Please.

Give me the wallet.

All right, now...

...I don't want any argument

about this.

This is the least I can do after all

the trouble I've put you two through.

I just hope that someday

you can forgive me.

- Here.

- What's that?

It's his vehicle registration.

He just signed over his car to us.

Really, Earl?

Yes. It's all yours.

I... I want you to have it...

...because, well...

Because I just want you to have it...

...and to get safely to wherever

you're going.

And, maybe, time and again, you might

think about your old neighbours...

...here on Burt Street.

What's happening, Daddy?

Your old man just gave me

his car, honey.

- I don't know what to say.

- Oh, you don't have to say anything.

It doesn't seem enough.

Oh, Earl.

You are the best.

Hey, come on. Take it easy,

super stud.

You make me look bad.

So make sure you take care

of my little Burt Street beauties.

- I'll try.

- All right.

Some time we had, huh?

Don't drive too long.

You haven't had much sleep.

Remember those shots

I took at you last night?

Yeah, I remember.

Come here.

I knew it was you.

That's why I missed.

Thanks, Vic.

Oh, I almost forgot.

Check the sticker on the door panel.

She'll need an oil change

in about 1000 miles.

Use Wolf's Head Golden 30-weight.

It'll never let you down.

Thanks, buddy.

Okay, pal.

- Bye, folks.

- Goodbye.

Oh, we'll miss you.

I wish you weren't going.

- Don't forget to write, huh?

- Bye.

Be cool, guys.

And now back to

our afternoon feature...

...Redstone Romance, starring

Clive Breck er...

...Marjorie Crane and Sky Saxon.

Hey, Dad, thanks.

It was far-out. Goodbye.

- Where you going?

- Back to school.

Back to school?

I thought you got kicked out.

Connie Schiff confessed.

They threw her out and cleared me.

Oh, that's my ride. I gotta go

or I'll miss the train. Bye, Dad.

- Elaine, I don't want you in that truck!

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