Nestyda

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Ready, roll 'em!

If anyone knows by heart

a few gentle words and notes

that murmur

in the trees like the wind...

Tell them to me.

They will suit me.

When I find a composer

who can write me

a love song - I don't want a hit -

I will ask him politely

to hurry up with it.

I will describe in detail

how it should be.

Call me later.

This one doesn't even open.

The song should be as clean

as the red sky...

As transparent as a daze...

As light as a stork,

about to take flight...

And as neat as a back yard.

That song should sound

like a guitar

with a nightingale's nest in it.

Be quiet as a gold mine

where nobody digs anymore,

and as cosy as a bar by day.

What kind of weather can we expect

tomorrow and the day after?

I know a hundred songs

and when I just look,

one is similar to the other.

No one knows I'm singing today...

For you, for me

and for both of us.

When I find a composer

who can write me

a love song,

as quiet as breath,

I will ask him politely

to hurry up with it.

It's late. Get on with it.

Everything's cool. You have

a red one. I've got a green one.

You first.

S H A M E L E S S

Bon appetit.

Are you going to the zoo

with your mom today?

-Yeah.

-Are you looking forward to it?

Yeah.

-What's up?

-Nothing.

-What are you looking at?

-Nothing.

Daytime temperature +2 to -2,

in the mountains - minus four.

Mild winds from the southwest,

The bio forecast is two,

medium pressure.

We wish you all a nice day.

We're talking about the accuracy

of average forecasting.

-Forecasts.

-Average ones though.

But forecasts, not forecasting.

-Oskar, don't be pedantic.

-We need some fresh air.

I'm an ex-teacher too, you know?

So tell the meteorologists here,

about the accuracy rates

of their long terms forecasting.

-Forty percent.

-Forty-two.

A lousy forty-two percent.

Hang on.

Let's put it the other way around.

Hey, that's a good idea.

Okay, down?

Okay.

Unhook it.

Hold on.

I'll be right back, okay?

-Hi, it's your order.

-Thank you. Keep it.

Thanks, goodbye.

We expecting someone?

I ordered dinner.

Robert and Marie are coming over.

-Don't you think it should be fixed?

-Fixed?

Yeah. Marie's double chin.

What? You always said

she was a pretty woman.

She is. I just wonder why she won't

do something about her double chin.

Or why Robert doesn't tell her.

You don't want to have dinner with

Marie because she has a double chin?

No, I'm just wondering

about Robert.

Why doesn't he tell her?

Maybe he has some kind of a mental

block, some inhibition. Or he just...

Why doesn't he tell her?

Robert, I mean.

Hang on.

It's something about me, right?

What do you mean?

Something obvious

and you've never told me

because you don't wanna hurt

my feelings, right?

My nose.

No...

Put the lizard to sleep.

You think I haven't noticed

you staring?

You think you're perfect?

With your TV smile?

Your ever bigger belly?

You think I haven't noticed

how distant you've been lately?

That we don't have sex?

That you're always

getting text messages?

I mind, you know.

I didn't say anything.

You know why?

I'm not a sh*t like you.

I love you.

Cheers.

So what did you decide

about the mountains?

What d'you think...?

What? You've cancelled again?

Can you imagine me on a ski lift?

Me and mountains?

Sure, why not?

And they say

lawyers don't have imagination!

Hey, that au-pair of yours,

she's Hungarian, isn't she?

Yeah.

What's she like?

-Who?

-The au-pair.

Why do you always drag

that animal round with you?

What?

You want me to pee on you?

Wait. Not here.

Not on the double sheets.

No?

When's your wife coming back?

Tomorrow.

Tomorrow?

You told me in a week.

Oh. They want

to come back earlier.

The weather's lousy.

I have an idea.

A pleasant surprise for everyone

skiing in the Krkonoe mountains.

Where tomorrow

the weather's going to clear up.

Blue skies all the way.

So be patient.

And don't panic.

We wish you all a nice evening.

We can escape to the mountains,

away from the lowland wind and rain,

where it will be clear and sunny

thanks to the thermal inversion

and the temperatures will be

around a pleasant 10 degrees.

The wind in the mountains

is going to be mild.

In short, just a gentle breeze.

-WARNING:
HEAVY SNOWFALL

-We wish you all a nice evening.

Drink up.

And that young lady, Jakub,

who babysits for you sometimes...

Is she nice to you?

-Yeah.

-Yeah?

-Pretty, huh?

-Yeah.

-You like her?

-Yeah.

Show me.

Hey, it's 39. Naughty boy!

You shouldn't go to the mountains,

when the weather's bad.

How is it?

-39. Can I get another cup of tea?

-Yeah, thanks.

Hey, give that here.

I'm telling you,

give me that phone.

Go on, give it me.

OK, read it, then.

"I forgot the turtle."

-What's a "korytnaka"?

-"Turtle".

Ah-ha. So take your turtle,

your phone,

and get out.

The music stopped playing

inside us.

The tunes we used to know faded.

The music inside of us

stopped playing.

And the summer attracts new songs.

You're fired.

Who said it was a good idea

to put it the other way round?

It was his idea.

What do you want here?

Hey, that's a nice warm welcome.

-Delighted to see you, father.

-Oh, kiss my ass.

Why so angry, my beloved parents?

I come to hang your curtains

and you're like this to me?

You're overreacting, mom. You say

yourself that I get on your nerves.

Oh come on - you're showing off,

they wouldn't want you

even on a soap opera.

So where are the curtains?

Zuzana has hung them already.

You're late.

She's a real treasure, isn't she?

-Yes, she is, actually.

-Unlike me, huh?

Yes, unlike you.

But I won't let anyone take her

away from me. Nor Jakub.

And who do you think wants

to take them away from you?

You, of course.

A mature man doesn't get divorced

just because of his wife's big nose.

You're not in the least

bit ashamed?

-No.

-No?

No. Why?

So what.

This is not about some big nose.

This is about the fact

that love, has left us -

like many other couples.

Love, God, love...

God, he's a moron.

That song should be as clean

as the red sky.

As transparent as a daze.

As light as a stork,

about to take flight.

And as neat as a back yard.

That song should

sound like a guitar,

in which there's

the nightingale's nest...

Yes?

Yes. Vejvodova street. I got it.

Be there in 20 minutes.

This is something, look.

How horrible it is.

Come here... Wait.

Is that a price tag?

No, that's mom's number,

if I get lost.

I write that for him

every time we go out.

In a few years I'll be putting a

note like that round your neck too.

You won't be here

in a few years, mom.

And that baby Jesus, he was

a VlP baby. That's a hippo.

What are you telling him?

You think that kid understands you?

-Tell me.

-I understand.

You see.

And everyone sucked up to him

and brought him gifts.

Like this. This is a gift. Look.

That's the toilet.

Zuza, see how he's

putting on an act for you?

-He...is...in...love...with...you.

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