Never Been Kissed Page #16

Rob sits next to her on the couch. He looks up at the T.V.-

which is now off.

ROB:

Did you catch the score?

Josie gives him a look of death.

ROB:

No, I mean, no big whoop.

JOSIE:

I can't do this.

She pulls the article out of her purse, and shoves it at

Rob. He sees the picture of all the popular kids at The

Court.

ROB:

These girls are high schoolers?

Damn, we've got some underage

hotties on our hands, here!

JOSIE:

Gus insists that I become friends

with these kids. The popular kids.

It's impossible.

ROB:

Why is that impossible?

Josie's eyes get teary.

JOSIE:

Rob, you don't know how it was for

me back in high school. No one

ever threw juice boxes at you in

the hallway. You never dreamed

about being popular- you already

were. All I wanted was to be

accepted, and they just f***ing

tortured me. I can't do all that

again. I can't go back to Southglen

South.

ROB:

Oh my God! You're at Southglen

South? They have a killer baseball

team.

JOSIE:

Rob. Please focus.

He puts his arm around her.

ROB:

Jos, you've been to college, you're

successful, you wash your hair now--

you're not Josie Grossie anymore.

JOSIE:

Don't you realize how much I wanted

to be you in high school? Just for

one minute to feel what it was

like to be popular?

ROB:

Come on! It's not that hard. All

you need is one person. Once the

right person thinks you're cool,

you're in. Everyone else will be

too scared to question it.

JOSIE:

Is that true?

ROB:

Little known fact.

Josie takes this in.

ROB:

Look, don't you wanna show them -

Gus, Billy Prince, yourself--that

you're not freaked out by the cool

kids anymore? That you can go in

there, be friends with them, and

get your story?

JOSIE:

Yes, desperately.

ROB:

Plus, if you quit you're no better

than me.

JOSIE:

Better than I...

ROB:

That's the spirit!

EXT. HIGH SCHOOL PARKING LOT - NEXT MORNING

Josie approaches the school. She's clearly made a new

attempt at style- she's teetering on too-high platform

shoes and showing a blending white midriff. No one pays

much attention to her.

GEORGE, thirty-something African-American, the epitome of

cool, waves Josie over to an open van side door. Josie

looks confused and scurries to the van.

JOSIE:

(sotto)

George! What are you doing here?

GEORGE:

Just get in the van, Josie.

INT. GEORGE'S VAN - MOMENTS LATER

High-tech surveillance wonderland meets seventies living

room. Tape players and monitors share space with shag

carpeting and a mini-fridge. Barry White PLAYS on a TAPE.

George starts to wrap wire around Josie's waist. He pins a

kid's plastic "captain's wings" onto her collar.

JOSIE:

What is this?

GEORGE:

Hidden camera.

JOSIE:

Wings?

GEORGE:

We used it for our expose on

overweight flight attendants--"Is

That Why They Never Give You a

Second Bag of Nuts?"

JOSIE:

I'm not doing this until I speak

with Gus.

GUS (O.S.)

(through speaker)

Geller, stop being a pain in the

ass.

Josie looks all around.

JOSIE:

Gus?

GUS (O.S.)

No, it's the Great and Powerful

Oz. Now listen--you're in over

your head. This is how it's gonna

work. I review the tapes, I find

your story.

JOSIE:

What if I say no?

GUS (O.S.)

I bet Good Housekeeping would go

gaga over the cole slaw piece.

Off Josie's look of concern...

EXT. SCHOOL - MINUTES LATER

A crush of kids flood up the stairs to the front door of

the school. We see Kirsten, Kristen and Gibby walking three

abreast ahead of Josie up the stairs. The Crowd parts around

them. Josie heads towards them.

JOSIE:

Hey! Kirsten, Kristen, Gibby--

What's up girlfriends?

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