Never Been Kissed Page #30

TRACY:

Good. Gibby gave me champagne.

ROB:

Maybe we should sit.

He helps her to a chair next to the dance floor. They both

sit. Next to them, a ravenous MISS PIGGY eats with her

date KERMIT looking on. She picks up an hors d'oeuvre and

stares at it horrified.

MISS PIGGY:

Oh my God! Is this a pig in a

blanket?!

Tracy looks at Rob, and gets serious.

TRACY:

Rob, I've - I've thought about it

a lot. And I think- I mean, I know.

You're the one. My penguin.

Rob looks at her. She's young. She's beautiful. She's tipsy.

She's trying to put her legs behind her head.

ROB:

Wow - I-

TRACY:

Rob, I mean it. I want you to be

my first. Me and you. Once the

floor stops spinning, let's have

sex.

He looks around. It's high school prom. A skinny kid is

getting beat up in a corner. Other kids are sneaking smokes.

He can't do this.

ROB:

I'm gonna get you some water. And

then, I think we should get back

out on that dance floor and boogie.

Rob gets up, kisses Tracy on the top of her head, and heads

for the refreshment table. Tracy, her leg still around her

head falls backwards into Kermit's lap. Kermit looks down,

surprised and interested. Miss Piggy notices, gives him a

big "Harumph", tosses her hair, and leaves.

ANGLE BACK ON:
THE COOL TABLE.

Gibby is staring O.S. in horror.

GIBBY:

You guys--what is the one thing

that could ruin my senior prom?

KRISTEN:

That you would trip on your Barbie

heels and I'd get named prom queen?

(beat)

Did I say that out loud?

WE FOLLOW Kristen's stare to the prom entrance where Aldys

and the Denominators enter in pairs, one behind the other,

attached together with rope, to form a human ladder. They

cross the dance floor, interrupting everything with their

unwieldy, tied-together conga line. They approach the Cool

Table.

GIBBY:

So what are you supposed to be?

Other than freaks?

ALDYS:

We're DNA. A double helix. But I

guess you'd know that if you'd

actually passed bio.

Kristen reaches out and touches the rope binding Denominator

#1 to Aldys. Denominator #1 slaps her hand away.

DENOMINATOR #1

Please don't touch the hydrogen.

It's rented.

Kristen reacts.

INT. COUNTRY CLUB - ON THE STAGE – LATER

Sam takes the stage, with a card in his hand.

SAM:

Well, the moment has arrived.

He looks at the card.

SAM:

Our 1999 prom court - the princesses

are - Miss Kristen Rey, Miss Kirsten

Leosis and Miss Gibby Zarefsky.

And the princes are Mr. Thomas

Salamey, Mr. Jason Way, and Mr.

Rob -

Sam looks at the card, and then looks around. Nobody can

help him.

SAM:

Mr. Rob ... Mr. Rob!

The crowd cheers. Gibby, Kirsten, and Kristen all jump in

preplanned delight. Rob seems genuinely surprised. Jason

carries Tommy up to the stage piggyback. The girls make

their way to the stage, and put on their "PROM COURT"

sashes. Sam looks to the card again.

SAM:

Next up - Southglen's Prom King…

Guy is already halfway to the stage-

SAM:

Guy Perkins!

The crowd goes wild. Guy reaches the stage and takes his

crown and scepter.

SAM:

And - this year's prom queen -

Sam looks at the card, then at Josie. Josie is standing;

eyes open, staring at the podium...

INT. GUS'S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS

The Crowd is rapt, waiting for the announcement. Anita has

her eyes squeezed shut, praying for the win...

INT. COUNTRY CLUB - ANGLE ON SAM.

SAM:

Ladies and gentlemen – Josie Geller!

The Crowd CHEERS like crazy, Josie smiles.

INT. GUS'S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS

The Crowd goes crazy, hugging each other and jumping up

and down.

ANITA:

Yes! You go girl! Yes! Yes!

Anita gives Gus a big hug. Gus is completely taken aback.

Merkin dolefully hands out money.

INT. COUNTRY CLUB - CONTINUOUS-

Josie is hugged and congratulated as she makes her way,

elated, to the stage. Sam places the Queen's tiara on her

head and hands her a bouquet of flowers. They lock eyes

for a moment.

SAM:

And now - as it is custom - the

king and queen will have their

first dance.

ON THE DANCE FLOOR:

Guy and Josie begin to dance. From Josie's P.O.V., it's in

SLOW MOTION, the world glittering and wonderful around

her.

GUY:

Hey--what are you thinking about?

JOSIE:

Shakespeare. How he described a

night like this--"Look how the

floor of heaven is thick inlaid

with patines of bright gold".

(beat)

What about you? What are you

thinking about?

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