Never Been Kissed Page #34

INT. LOCKER ROOM - SAME

The guys' locker room. A bunch of GUYS are getting dressed

after P. E.

JOSIE (O.S.)

WOMAN COMING THROUGH! COVER UP

WHAT YOU DON'T WANT SEEN!

And with that Josie comes walking into the locker room,

completely unruffled, and storms over to Coach Romano's

office, just as he is leaving it.

JOSIE:

Hi, Coach Romano, my name is Josie

Geller, from the Chicago Sun Times

Listen, you know the local sports

guy for the Sun Times, Jim Lakin?

COACH:

Sure, every coach in the area tries

to get Jim to cover his team.

Josie puts her arm around the coach, and leads him back

into his own office.

JOSIE:

Well, what would you say if I told

you that I could guarantee that

Jim and every other reporter in

the area would be at the game?

COACH:

I'd say you can have whatever the

hell you want.

Josie smiles, together they enter his office and close the

door.

INT. JOSIE'S APARTMENT - DAY

Josie sits at her disk, typing on her laptop, engrossed.

JOSIE (V.O.)

Someone once told me that to write

well you have to write what you

know. This is what I know. I am

twenty five years old. I have never

really kissed a guy. A geek to the

core, most of my childhood years

were spent doing extra homework I

requested from the teacher.

INT. GUS' OFFICE - DAY

Gus comes in, snaps on the light, sits at his desk, and

opens his newspaper. He pulls out, the "Life and Style"

section.

And there it is. Front page - "NEVER BEEN KISSED BY JOSIE

GELLER." There are three pictures next to the article.

One is Josie at age 17, one is her recent prom picture,

and one is her as a normal, 25 yr. old adult.

JOSIE (V.O.)

High school was more of the same.

Then, at seventeen, it seemed as

if my luck was about to change.

The cutest guy in school asked me

to senior prom - but it turned out

he invited me as a cruel joke. I

have never fully recovered.

INT. SUN TIMES LUHCHROOH - DAY

Anita and Cynthia read the article, in the staff lunch

room, over a shared bag of microwave popcorn. They are

astounded-

JOSIE (V.O.)

Yes, it is embarrassing to share

this with the world. But it would

be hard to explain what I learned,

and how I learned it, without

sharing this humiliating history.

EXT. A HOUSE - MORNING

The Sun Times lies on the front mat. The door opens; we

see a pair of bare feet. A hand reaches down to grab the

paper. WE PAN UP to reveal Sam in all his depressed glory--

sweats, unshaven, bleary eyed.

JOSIE (V.O.)

I received an assignment, my first

as a reporter, to enroll in high

school as a student, to gain some

insight into kids today.

Understandably, returning to high

school was my worst nightmare.

Sam shuts the door.

EXT. SOUTHGLEN HIGH SCHOOL - DAY

Kids stream into school.

JOSIE (V.O.)

What I found?

INT. MRS. KNOX'S CIASSROOM - DAY

Mrs. Knox, wearing the sombrero, teaches her class.

JOSIE (V.O.)

There's still that one teacher,

who marches to her own drummer-

And in the back row, Kirsten, Kristen and Gibby are laughing

an talking--

JOSIE (V.O.)

Those girls are still there. The

ones that, even as you grow up,

will still be the most beautiful

girls that you've ever seen close

up.

EXT. BASEBALL DIAMOND - DAY

THE BASEBALL TEAM AS THEY PRACTICE-

JOSIE (V.O.)

The athletes - and the immense

sense of fraternity and loyalty

that they share-

INT. SCIENCE LAB - DAY

ALDYS AND THE DENOMINATORS- MAKING SMORES OVER A BUNSON

BURNER GETTING INTO A MELTED CHOCOLATE AND MARSHMALLOW

FIGHT- AND LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY-

JOSIE (V.O.)

The smart kids. Who everyone else

always knew as the brains. But who

I just knew as my soulmates, my

teachers, my friends.

EXT. PARKING LOT - DAY

GUY, TOMMY AND JASON, AS THEY GET OUT GUY'S CAR, IN THE

PARKING LOT-

JOSIE (V.O.)

And there's still that one guy,

the one who is so perfect in every

way, from the muscles in his

shoulders-

EXT. HIGH SCHOOL - DAY

WE FOCUS IN ON GUY, AS HE TAKES THE FRONT STEPS TWO AT A

TIME-

JOSIE (V.O.)

- to the way he, in his own way,

struggles to uphold tradition.

Southglen would not have been the

same without him. High school would

not be the same without him. I

would not have been the same without

him.

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