Never Say Die

---

Good.

[Woman Speaking French]

[Speaking French]

[People Chattering]

[Bell Ringing]

Bell...

The bell!

[Ringing Stops]

[Man]

Ugh! Tastes like

old chicken wire.

[Woman]

Yes, but you've

taken off 20 pounds.

[Sputtering]

Au revoir.

Oh! How is he

this morning?

Tolerably well.

He says his liver's acting up

a bit, but, you know.

Ah, good morning.

And how is poor,

dear Mr. Kidley?

His gall bladder spent

a rather peaceful night.

Ah, that's good.

That's good.

Splendid. Splendid.

However, he complains

of a shooting pain

in his sacroiliac.

Oh, good morning.

Isn't he the Kidley

of Kidley's Korn Plasters?

Kidley's Beans, madam,

if you don't mind.

Oh.

I ate some once.

Very tasty.

Thank you, madam.

Ah, Jeepers.

Good morning.

How is Mr. Kidley

this morning?

Up and down-ish,

thank you, sir.

His liver was a bit

squeamish during the night.

That's nice.

Did he invent

the Kidley Bean?

His grandfather did,

madam.

I understand

Mr. Kidley inherited

quite a little money.

$20 Million, madam.

I shouldn't call that

"a little."

Please, please.

Yes!

Ladies, ladies,

please, please.

This is for Mr. Kidley.

Is that you,

Jeepers?

Yes, sir.

Is that you,

Jeepers?

Yes, sir.

Oh, Jeepers,

I'm a very sick man.

Very sick.

Will you take that?

Oh, it's terrible.

Normal, sir.

Oh, but it can't be!

Ninety-eight and six-tenths,

sir, right on the nose.

Oh, that thing's

broken again.

[Thermometer Clinking]

If I may say so, sir,

it's all poppycock.

You're as healthy

as a fire horse.

Oh! Oh, is that so?

Well, why do you think

I came to Switzerland,

to yodel?

And how about yesterday?

That dizzy spell

when I fell downstairs?

You saw me yourself.

Anyone would fall

downstairs, sir.

Eight aspirins

before breakfast.

Well, now, don't quibble.

If you had what I've got...

- What have you got, sir?

- Well, l...

Well, you wait till

I see Dr. Schmidt

this afternoon.

He'll tell you

what I've got.

Dr. Schmidt!

Yes. Dr. Schmidt

is the biggest

stomach man in Europe.

Very well, sir.

Whatever he says goes.

You're not getting

a chill, sir?

No. I forgot

to shake the bottle.

Don't let me

forget that, Jeepers.

And here, give me

my bad gas water.

[Groans]

[Birds Singing]

Oh!

There. An ice bag

and a hot water bottle,

right away.

Oh, not to bed

again, sir.

It... It's all sunshiny

outside, sir!

The birds are singing!

Oh, shut the window!

I hate 'em!

And besides,

they're off-key.

Close 'em out.

[Car Approaching]

Mr. Kidley

staying here?

Yes, madam.

Rooms 201,

2, 3, 4, 5, 6 and 7.

Get out, Hannah.

This is it.

Okeydokey.

[Gasps]

Oh, sir! Sir!

It's her, sir.

It's she!

She's here, sir.

Sir, she's here!

Jeepers, this is no time

for your romances.

Get the ice bag

and cool off.

But sir!

Sir, she's here!

The-The-The one

from St. Moritz.

The one with four names.

Marko? She's here?

That's it.

Yes. Yes.

Mrs. Jones-DeBaupre-

Ivansoff-Marko, sir.

She's followed us.

Well, where is she?

I don't see her.

She's in this hotel, sir.

In the hotel?

Oh, Jeepers, I'm cursed.

Every time a woman finds out

I've got $20 million

and bad health...

she falls in love

with me.

The butterflies were easy

to brush off, sir,

but this one's a black widow.

Well, don't stand there.

Do something!

Tell her I died.

Anything!

I knew it was a mistake

to encourage her, sir.

I did not.

It was an accident.

Room 312 and 412.

Anybody can get off

at the wrong floor.

[Knocking]

Well, answer the door.

No, don't answer the door!

Lock it! Lock it!

Jeepers!

Don't stand...

[Knocking Continues]

John!

John!

[Chuckling]

Well, Mrs. Marko!

Well, what happy wind

blows you to Bad Gaswasser?

Never mind that.

What happy wind blew you

out of St. Moritz?

Well, you see, I, uh...

There was a train,

and then, uh...

there was a doctor,

and he told me that...

[Coughs]

That l...

Well, I mean...

Didn't I, Jeepers?

Oh, absolutely,

Mrs. Marko.

Will you get out?

Yes, ma'am.

No, not you.

I mean this-this Creepers.

Jeepers!

We'll get rid of him.

Oh, sure, we...

Huh?

- After we're married.

- Oh, uh... [Laughs]

Yeah. Yeah.

But I understood... I mean,

what about your husband?

Pierre? Oh, we won't

have to worry about Pierre.

Oh, we won't?

Well! Well...

John, it was fate.

Everything was settled

that wonderful night

you danced with me.

I knew how you felt

when you held me close...

and whispered,

"You, you,

it's got to be you."

Yes, but that was a song,

Mrs. Marko.

Yes, but that was a song,

Mrs. Marko.

? You, you

It's gotta be you ?

? You wonderful you

No one but you ??

Don't you remember?

I remember.

Darling, of course

it's going to be me.

Oh.

And then you remember later,

when you...

Oh, did I?

[Laughs]

Well, that was the elevator.

You see, l-I just went,

and I got off.

It'll happen.

John, do you know what first

attracted me to you?

Yeah, well, I guess you had

20 million reasons,

eh, Mrs. Marko?

You're the only one

in the whole world

who believes in me.

The others are always

pointing accusing fingers,

just because of DeBaupre.

DeBaupre?

Yes. He was the one

before Pierre.

- Oh, he's the one

they said you shot.

- It's not true!

- It's a wicked, slanderous lie!

- Oh, I should say it is.

Just because you were there

and there were holes

in him, Mrs. Marko...

is no reason

why people should...

I was acquitted.

Just because I'm impulsive

and quick tempered, people talk.

Yes, and with you being

an Olympic pistol champion...

You too!

Oh, pardon me.

John, what you just said

is what the police said.

You don't dare

to think that l...

Why, no, Mrs. Marko.

I think you're as innocent

as a child... a small child.

Way down...

[Marko]

We're going to be

very happy together.

- Don't you think so, John?

- You're the type of woman

I admire.

I'd marry you

just like that,

if it weren't for...

If it weren't for what?

Well, if it weren't for your

present husband, Mr. Marko.

Oh. I thought I told you.

[Sighing]

Oh, poor Pierre!

Yes, poor Pierre.

L...

"Poor Pierre"?

What happened to him?

He fell off

the Matterhorn.

Oh, that's too...

That's a mountain!

Thirteen thousand,

six hundred

and sixty-nine feet.

He was never found.

Did they look?

Were you there,

Mrs. Marko?

Oh, I saw it all.

It was horrible.

Why, when it happened,

l-I wasn't a foot behind him.

Think of that.

I'll bet you could have

reached right out...

and touched him,

eh, Mrs. Marko?

Easily.

Seven years.

Seven years.

That's how long we'll

have to wait, Mrs. Marko.

When a husband disappears,

you have to wait seven years.

Not in mountain climbing.

I'd be willing

to bet.

Oh, you'd lose.

I stopped in Geneva

to find out.

I had the same lawyers

as the League of Nations.

Oh.

I'm entirely free.

Oh, well, Mrs. Marko,

you wouldn't want

to marry me.

I'm a hopeless invalid.

I'm liable to die, just like that.

You mistrust me!

You act as though you

don't want to marry me.

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