Newlyweds Page #10

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You're calling my sister a shifty.

She's completely shifty!

She f***ing stole my coat,

and used all my f***ing towels!

And slept with someone

on the kitchen counter!

And now she's sleeping

with my ex-Husband!

That is completely f***ed!

Buzzy, that is completely f***ed!

Look! I'm as upset about

this as you are, alright!

I don't like the idea of my

little sister sleeping with Dara.

Who, mind you, is not without

any blame here, alright?

Your reaction, quite honestly,

is a little big.

I mean, Im thinking maybe I

shouldn't even have said anything.

And I was like the a**hole

who doesn't know! To who?

And then Im the one at the deli

and I run into him.

You would do that to me?

You would let me be ignorant about this?

This is what Ive been telling you.

You know, that you guys...

you didn't know each other,

Before you got married.

That's why Ive been so against it!

My god, Marsha, shut up!

Do not tell my sister to shut up!

My sister is a good person.

Whereas your sister is... the devil!

Look, you're being

a little irrational, okay.

So why don't we just... why don't

we just agree to talk in the morning.

When we don't have to deal with comments

from the f***in' peanut gallery, alright?

I'm going to work, and tomorrow

You and I are going

to have a conversation

Because I think... we might...

want different things, in the relationship.

And we might think that

different things are important.

Really? I mean, if that's

where you're gonna take this.

I told you the truth!

It's not my fault my sister didn't?

Bye, honey.

How the f*** did you do that to her?

Why wouldn't you

tell her about that?

Oh my god.

Really. I mean, it's no wonder

max ran for the f***in' hills.

Jesus.

Can you believe this girl?

First, she... steals my coat

And then uses all the towels, 2 times...

and then she sleeps

with my ex-Husband?

I mean, my ex-Husband?

I feel like if I had a pet

rabbit right now she

Would be boiling the sh*t

out of it on my stove!

Oh hey! How are you doing'?

Ah... thank you for

f***ing up my marriage.

I'm so glad that

you decided to visit me!

What do you want!?!

I just wanted somebody to talk to.

Oh! Why don't you give

your new friend Dara a call, maybe?

I'm sure he's free tonight.

I'm sorry about that. I told you

I wasn't thinking straight.

Yeah, Id say you

weren't thinking at all.

Why didn't you tell Katie,

like you said you were gonna do?

I couldn't.

I was scared, and her

mean creepy sister was there

Giving me this attitude, and I just

figured it would be better if I left.

Ok, well now you have gotten me

into a sh*t load of trouble, so...

Thanks a lot. I'm sorry about that.

I'm a f*** up. I know!

But I don't have anybody else,

you're my brother.

I need your help.

Yeah! And I have

been trying to help you,

And all you've done is screw me over.

I don't know what to do.

I don't have any money

And I just wanna go home.

I just really want to go home.

I want to go home.

Where are you?

I'm at some hotel, Im at the um...

the cosmopolitan, by your house.

Why don't you meet me

for breakfast in the morning?

There's a diner on the corner.

Alright, let's say 9 o'clock and...

we'll figure something out, alright?

Okay.

You gonna be alright?

Um... yes.

Alright, Ill see

you in the morning.

Okay.

Hey buzzy! Are you awake?

No! I'm sleeping!

Hey! You know what

Im gonna do tomorrow?

You know what?

I could care less, because ah...

Im sleeping?

I'm gonna go and give myself

a day of beauty.

I'm gonna get a... Mani putty

Im gonna get a wax.

I'm going to color my

roots, it's gonna be fabulous!

Guess what? I could give a sh*t!

And then you know what Im

gonna do after that?

You know what Marsha?

I think I said I was sleeping, right?

I'm gonna go to a bar and

Im gonna drink a ton of margaritas.

And I am gonna pick up a guy...

a young, young hot guy.

And I am gonna suck him.

And then Im gonna f*** him in the stall.

Yeah... well, that sounds wonderful.

Do me a favor?

Make sure he wears a rubber.

Okay. You don't want to have to

end up getting married again! Right?

Oh and. Guess what Im gonna

do with him after that?

Oh f***! You know what?

I really could give a sh*t, okay?

I thought you would like it?

I mean you're always

going on and on about your,

You know,

sexual exploits with my sister.

I thought that you

would appreciate this. No?

Marsha... good night!

Good night!

It's 1 o clock in

the morning and obviously

I'm not gonna get any sleep

With uh... Marsha chirping

in my ear all night so...

I can either lay in

bed and think about

How Im gonna try and

fix things with Katie or

Go over to the restaurant and

actually try and fix things with her. So...

can we talk for a minute?

Really busy right now, buzzy.

You can't give me a minute?

So look... alright, I understand

that I should have come home

After I saw them,

and told you about it.

I should not have let it out her,

I am sorry, I screwed up, okay?

Really scared, buzzy. Really scared.

What are scared about?

I think maybe we jumped

into this, prematurely.

That's craziness, babe!

We are a great couple.

We have the perfect set up

and your blowin' this...

No. But I don't want a "set up"!

Way out of proportion!

Buzzy. I want a marriage.

And we... we joked, all the time,

about how things are so casual

Between us, and there's

no drama, we never

Have to see each other. And I just...

I think maybe we're being naive.

I think we've been avoiding something.

What are we avoiding?

We have a great, great relationship.

I mean what...

we are avoiding real life!

I mean, true intimacy.

And Im not just talking about sex.

I think... I have been lying to myself.

I think I need a lot more... than this.

What more do you need?

Okay. I love you.

I love you!

What more you need than that!?

Then why... why can't

you be honest with me.

I am honest with you! Okay?

I mean, sometimes I don't

tell you little things! I need...

Like I just forget to mention some things!

Right. But it's those little...

those things add up, and I

am worried that after 18 years,

We are gonna be so full of resentment

and hatred towards each other!

Just like max and Marsha, and Im gonna...

look at you and not know who you are.

This is like your sister talking, okay?

You know me! I mean,

look at me, you know me!

I don't know, Ive seen a lot of

unfamiliar behavior this week.

Unfamiliar behavior?

Yeah!

I was protecting my sister. You can't

understand that? She's my little sister!

Right. Right.

Instead of protecting me...

your wife

And I get it, I get it. You...

you care about your sister but...

yeah.

But that's surprising to me

Because I had never

heard you talk about her

Up until this week,

until she arrived on our doorstep

And I... I just...

I feel like I don't know you

The way that I should know

the person that I married.

I have to get... I have to go to work.

This is crazy. This is crazy.

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