Newlyweds Page #9

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It's not what I think?

What is this then?

Come with me, we need to talk.

What the f***?

What?

What is happening here?

We're hanging out.

"Hanging out"?

There are 8 million

people in this city

And you have to

"hang out" with him?

Listen, I appreciate you trying

to be my big brother and all...

Im not trying to do sh*t, here!

But you are being crazy!

We talked yesterday!

I know, I know, but it happened, okay?

Like, things happen, sometimes!

But Im handling it...

no, you know what?

You're not handling sh*t.

What you're doing is

sleeping with my wife's ex-Husband.

No, no, Im not!

I'm not sleeping with him,

I just... I slept with him.

There is a difference.

Alright, obviously I can't talk to you.

Hey a**hole!

Look, you understand

that this needs to ends today.

You are never to see her again!

No, you don't understand.

I love her.

You love her?

You don't even f***in' know her!

What are you talking about?

Your sister and I were cut

from the same cloth.

We're from here, the gut.

You and Katie, you're up here.

You're thinking'.

Always rationalizing and planning.

I wouldn't expect

you to understand.

Are you aware that this

a**hole in love with you?

That's what he just told me

no, he's not.

That what he just said!

No! No. You're not!

Listen, you're a really

sweet guy, but I...

You need to turn around and

go home. Right now.

Do you mind if

I take my coat, please?

Are you kidding me?

Please give him the f***in' coat.

Good bye!

You. Let's go. We need to talk.

Alright. So you understand

that you have just put me into

An insane sh*t storm, alright?

So here's what needs to happen.

You need to go over and tell Katie

Because Im not going to.

Wait. Why does anybody have to

tell her anything?

I have to tell her,

and I don't want to tell her.

You're the one who

put us into this situation.

So you got to explain it to her.

This is what we do.

We tell each other everything.

It's called honesty.

Really? That sounds

like a terrible idea!

You have to promise me that

you're gonna go over there now,

I got to get back to the gym,

and you've got to tell her!

If I tell her,

then she's gonna kick me out!

You should have thought

of that before.

Hey!, there she is, um...

Linda, this is my sister Marsha...

Marsha, this is Buzzys sister, Linda.

Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you, finally.

Um... listen Katie, I just um...

I wanted to talk to you, actually

If that's alright. Um..

I just... I have something

I wanted to say, and I...

Thought ah... I should tell you...

You know what, Linda. Can I just...

stop you because I... I...

Im actually kind of in the middle

of a family crisis, right now.

Yeah. My... my husband

of 18 years just left me.

Oh no. I'm sorry!

Yeah, and we need to talk about

the sleeping arrangements.

Because Im gonna have to put you

on the couch. If that's alright.

I can't stay at my place.

And he's still there and...

Right! Yeah, um... because

what I wanted to tell you

Just now, is um...

Im moving out, today!

You are!

Yep! That's amazing, great!

Thank you, Linda!

Oh, no. Thank you, you've been

so generous, um...

I just... I didn't want to

overstay my welcome.

No, no, not at all.

No, Im sure you haven't.

Well... I am just gonna

Ill go pack my bags.

Oh uh... can you uh...

change the sheets?

I'm sure they need

to be changed.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Thank you, Linda!

Yeah. Hi, it's max.

Yeah, no, I know we don't have a session,

I want to talk.

Thanks.

Look. What the hell were you thinking,

dropping that on the table,

In the middle of dinner, man.

That's not the place for that sh*t!

I... I didn't think about it,

it just came out, that way.

But you saw what she's like.

She's so demeaning.

But the timing worked out so well.

When I got to the studio,

Vanessa, that girl I was talking about...

she was still working there.

The thing about max is uh...

he's a poor reflection

On my ability as a trainer.

I've added absolutely no muscle to him.

He's lost no weight.

All he likes to do is come

to the gym and bullshit.

I tell him all the time, you know,

you don't need a trainer...

you need a shrink.

I do not want to hear these stories...

alright? So, here's the deal...

I don't think

I can train you anymore.

This is gonna put me in too

awkward a position.

I went over there

because I was excited!

I thought he'd like to hear

this news, of mine, you know?

I mean, this guy... 18 years

Ive been married. He knows that.

I get one blow job...

I want to tell him, share the good news...

and then he says

"oh, Im not gonna train you any more".

I don't know,

he just took it all the wrong way.

Hey, it's me. Um...

Im kind of glad you didn't pick up.

Um... I just... I wanted to call...

I... I wish I could

of said this last night?

I um... I just had to get out of there.

But I wanted say it now.

Look, if... if I had known that you um...

you know, the situation...

I really...

I never would have come.

I never would have

come to new York.

I want you to know...

Im really happy for you.

I think you are gonna be a great dad.

And I wanted

to call and say goodbye.

So, bye.

I do not know,

I think I got to get out of here.

I think I just...

I got to get back to L.A., I think.

Marsha is gonna stay with us,

for a while. Yeah.

What happened to the...

other plan?

I thought you were gonna sleep upstairs

and max was gonna sleep in the studio?

I was. But last night, I think

max brought someone home

And I could hear them, and I can't...

I mean, can you believe that?

I don't know, I don't care.

Can you...

where is my sister, by the way?

Her stuff...?

Oh, um... Linda left.

Linda left.

Yeah. She... we were sitting in the

kitchen, she came home and she said

She was going to move out.

Wait, what do you mean she moved out?

Did she say where she was going or

where she was gonna stay?

No.

No.

No she packed her bag and left.

She seemed happy. Yeah, she did.

Did she say... anything else?

About what? Oh.

Today, when I... was going to work,

I'm comin' out of the deli and

I run into her, and... Dara.

My... wait...

they were together?

I don't know, I mean, I guess the

date that she went on last night...

must have been with him.

What? It's just like...

are they in a relationship?

I don't...

how long have you known about this!?

Oh my god!

Look, I think it was...

she takes the word sluttiness,

to whole other level.

But she is also a coward. And she

came in here and said she had to leave.

All of a sudden.

And packed her bag and f***ing fled!

Because she didn't want to tell me that

she was sleeping with my ex-Husband.

I'm sure it was just a matter of she was

afraid to say something, to you, okay?

She's a young kid, she's vulnerable.

Vulnerable?... vulnerable!... vulnerable.

So vulnerable means she has to

f*** everyone in new York

And f*** up my life?

I didn't like her when I met her.

I mean, she... her eyes were shifty.

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