Newlyweds Page #7

---

like that at the dinner table.

I mean, it's fine in the locker

room, that your room is accessible,

But we we're it bothers me.

Marsha, please! What?

Just lighten up!

You sound like an old woman!

People talk about sex

and they curse at dinner table, okay?

Yeah.

Just get over it.

No, Im not gonna get over it.

Because I find it offensive,

More importantly,

did you just call me an "old woman"?

No, I didn't.

I said you sounded like an old woman.

Well, please explain to me

how I sound like an old woman.

I don't need this,

coming from you. Of all people.

Everything and everyone

just irritate and upset you the whole time.

Everything? Wow. It's infuriating.

We're all walking around on eggshells,

Terrified that everything we say

might upset you.

That's not true!

I mean, Katie. Do you feel that way?

No, not at all.

No. See.

And clearly, buzzy doesn't.

I mean, otherwise he'd heed

my request to speak like a gentleman.

Gentleman?... yeah that

would never happen!

No. I think the only person

who's terrified of me, is you.

- You know what Marsha?

- What?

You have lost your zest for life.

My zest.

Zest, yes! The fun, happiness, joy

It's all gone!

Bitching and complaining.

That's become your

personality traits.

I'm sick of it!

Wow.

Nothing's fun or funny to you,

anymore.

I mean, I don't even know when the

last time you laughed was.

When was the last time you laughed?

No really. When was the last time?

You want to know?

I do.

Oh. When I found your

pathetic passes at

That young girl in the studio,

hilarious.

I mean you should of seen him!

He's was all being charming and

Sucking in his gut.

I mean I laughed my head off,

at that one.

Hey, hey.

Let's change the subject, huh?

Buzzy! Tell us about one of those

freak shows, from your gym, that you train.

Something funny.

Okay... yeah. Let's see. Um...

Oh. Alright, yeah. There's this guy,

Aaron Luben, he's a law student...

guys.

Sleeping with his cleaning lady.

That's funny!

Um... I want a divorce.

Yeah... no... you know what?...

buzzy, you're right

Your right. We had 18 years

we can consider that a success.

Don't bring me into this.

You know. Did I say that?

I don't remember saying that.

Let's just end it, right now.

Fine. That is music to my ears.

Oh it is? Well good!

Good riddance.

Yeah. Oh, but Im keeping

the apartment.

That's fine, because

Ill sleep in the studio.

Great, perfect.

Max, max! Wait! Wait!

What just happened? Go after him!

Do something!

I kind of... I got my sister to deal with.

Right? So maybe...

great...

it's alright.

I'm fine.

You know.

What you have to look forward to.

Yeah! I think 18 years is a

hell of a success.

I mean, my first marriage

only lasted 6 years

Yours was what? 4 years?

So, if you can go 18?

I'd say, you did

a pretty damn good job.

Just out of curiosity...

how long do you see us going?

Hopefully longer than

That what be really what I imagined,

but... yeah, me too!

When I said... "I do"

Yeah! I'm agreeing

with you completely.

But, 18, if we made it to

Think we'd both be pretty happy.

Why am I here now to get

miles back, you know?

Umm... I think maybe knowing

that he got married was um...

a motivating factor, for sure.

It got me to see

what I really want

And to um... go after it.

Why don't you have something

a little bit stronger, huh?

And one for me.

Okay.

Cheers. Cheers.

That's better.

How about another one?

One more.

I miss you.

Wait. What?

I want to play a song for you.

I think you're really

gonna enjoy it.

Let's go.

Remember it?

Remember this one?

You know you want to dance.

I know you do.

Let's go.

Your still in love with me.

So what?

Doesn't matter.

Of course it matters.

I brought something for you.

Yeah? Um. Hm.

What?

Well, you just have to wait and see.

Don't go anywhere, okay?

Oh, your pulling all the stops, tonight.

Don't move.

I'll be right here.

Okay.

Men are pretty predictable, I find.

And um... if you use your

sexuality in the right way...

then you can get them to do,

pretty much anything you want them to do.

Oh. Hi guys. I didn't realize

you uh... still here.

We're going down to walkers for a couple

drinks, if you want to come with us.

What, now?

Yeah!

Come on. Come out with us!

Yeah? Yeah.

Yeah... uh...

come on. Okay.

I could do with a drink.

In fact, you know what?

I buy you all a drink.

How does that sound?

Oh my god! I really can't believe

that just happened!

Divorce!... over dinner?... what?

I'm gonna have another glass

of wine, yeah? Yep. Yes.

I actually thought they were happy.

Really? Yeah.

Why do you think they are happy?

I mean, come on. I've never

saw them smile at one another.

They've never said a nice thing

to one another.

At least not in my presence.

No, no! In the beginning,

Way before you knew them.

Back when they were had Johnny.

They were like... I mean,

Ive never seen two people more in love.

The way he used to look at her.

He used to bring her

flowers like every day!

You forget that was what uh...

Then why did you call their

marriage a success?

I was just trying to smooth over

another uncomfortable meal.

God! I mean, I knew

they had problems

But I thought they were just like

everybody else that has problems.

I had no idea

Wow. Did you?

Did you have a sense of this?

Uh... no... no... not really.

Not really?

Look, sometimes...

what?

Sometimes in the gym,

max will talk sh*t about her.

You know? I mean,

but, I thought he was harmless,

The same way most guys

will talk sh*t about their wives.

Do you talk sh*t

about me at the gym?

No, I do not talk sh*t about you.

We're newlyweds.

I not gonna talk sh*t about you

for at least another 2 months or so.

Oh.

Cheers. Cheers.

Oh. A prince.

A prince among men.

Yeah. But you know,

you should of told me that one.

That was one to tell me.

Look... I didn't know

You know, he was going to ask for

a divorce at dinner!

We did say we were gonna tell

each other everything.

And this one,

this time around. Even the hard stuff.

Really. I know everything.

You don't have to be afraid.

Agreed. I will in the future...

you know, tell you.

Yeah. Because I really don't want

to be blindsided in the restaurant

That would really suck for me.

Got it. I will.

I got it. Loud and clear.

Okay?

Got you.

Wow.

Well. I think for a relationship to work...

you have to have total honesty.

You know? Tell each other everything.

Down to the littlest detail.

I mean I... I totally agree,

up to a point. I think...

I think there are some things that...

you know, most people admit,

that are better to keep to yourself.

Yeah? Like what?

Well, I don't know.

I don't think you'd want to hear like

My deepest and darkest thoughts

that I might just happen to have.

Yes, I do.

I mean, I tell you everything.

I don't know, let's say you...

I don't know,... you...

you have a passing fantasy

about, I don't know,

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes