Next Stop, Greenwich Village Page #7

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Walter Winchell?

Oh, another wise guy.

- Am I wrong, or am I right?

- You're right.

Sarah is just

my girlfriend.

All right then, so when are you

gonna get married, huh?

You don't necessarily get married

to your girlfriends these days.

Oh, so who do you marry,

your boyfriends?

- I told you, Greenwich Village is peculiar.

- [Laughs]

I see where you get your

sense of humor from.

- I got married, I was 18 years old.

- Nineteen.

[Sighs]

I, uh...

I never knew another man.

Well...

But in those days,

you dated...

then you got engaged

and you got married.

There was no hanky-panky

in between.

- Maybe there should have been.

- Hey, Sarah.

Oh, no.

Maybe she's right.

Who knows?

But what I do know is, nowadays

they date, they never get engaged...

they never get married,

and there's lots of hanky-panky, right?

[Laughs]

So you two, you two...

- are, uh, you know, you...

- Hanky-panky?

Mom, Sarah and I

are just good friends.

You know, I'm not as old-fashioned

as you think I am, son.

And what's the difference if I know

the truth? You think I'm a monster.

- It's none of your business.

- He's right.

You can't stop, can you?

I'm a grown man.

I'm not a little boy anymore.

I have an apartment.

I have a career.

I have a life.

Some career.

Four years you went to college.

You squeeze carrot juice

in a nut house.

- I am an actor!

- Don't yell at me.

Faye, it's time to go.

Look, miss, if you're sleeping

with my son, it's your own business.

But if you're all so damn modern about it,

why shouldn't I know about it?

What's the difference?

- We've had sex.

- Thanks.

You had sex?

They had sex.

I wanna...

I gotta go home.

- I wanna go home!

- Mrs. Lapinsky, I was only kidding.

- I didn't mean it.

- Mom. Stop it, Mom.

- Calm down.

- [Indistinct] I wanna go home!

[All Talking]

- Relax.

- Leave me alone. Leave me alone.

- I was only kidding.

- She's a niceJewish girl. She was lying.

- Hey, Mom, she was kidding.

- [Whimpering]

I swear,

I was joking.

- [Whimpering]

- She was only kidding, Mom.

- Kidding?

- I was only kidding.

You were just kidding?

I swear

I was joking.

We've never

slept together.

Uh, all right.

Uh...

Come on, Ben.

Let's go.

L-l-It's very nice

to meet you, miss.

You're...

You're a beautiful girl.

- Uh, call.

- Mrs. Lapinsky, it was nice meeting you too.

Uh, you know, you should

have seen him in college.

His acting.

He's a genius.

Uh...

His Hamlet, it was like

you saw a work of art.

I'm 10 years away

from a good Hamlet.

- Ben, tell her. Tell her.

- He was really... good.

Larry's very talented.

Uh, we could walk you

to the subway.

- We're...

- I'm gonna help clean up.

Good night, Mom.

You'll call me tomorrow?

4:
00.

I'll call you tomorrow.

4:
00.

All right.

Good night.

Good night, Pop.

[Sighs]

Oh, my God.

Great God in heaven,

help me!

Help a poorJewish boy.

Help my twisted brain.

[Groans]

She is unbelievable.

What did I tell you?

But she's smart.

And she's kind of interesting.

There's something strange

about her.

She invented

the Oedipus complex.

But I like her.

She's kind of like

a Jewish gypsy.

The crazy thing is...

while it's happening,

I see the humor of it.

No matter how insane

it gets...

there's still a funny side.

You know what I mean?

I'm tired.

- Larry.

- What's the matter?

I expect her to walk in

any minute.

No hanky-panky?

No, I can't have sex

till Monday.

You have cats' eyes.

I also have elephant ears.

I really want to go

to Mexico.

I don't know who's crazier,

you or my mother.

It's just postabortion blues.

Is it going to be soon

at all?

- What is your name?

- Clyde Baxter.

Just have a seat.

It won't be long.

- Did you look at the list? Am I on the list?

- Yeah. It's right here.

- I am?

- Just have a seat.

- Yeah, you said that an hour ago.

- We're running a little late.

Would it help

if you had this?

Thank you.

Just have a seat.

Just have a seat.

All right.

Uh, Kenny Shackle.

I believe I was

before that man.

Was I not?

Was I before him

or not?

L... I don't have to

do this, you know.

- You may not.

- [People Laughing]

Boy, she's really something.

Yes, she is something.

I didn't study

for six years...

to be treated

like an animal.

You studied six years

in New York?

Yes, in New York.

I studied with everybody... Sandy,

with Stella. I'm with Lee now.

- I don't...

- You're with Lee?

At the Actors Studio,

yeah.

Oh, yeah.

I'm studying

with Herbert now.

Herbert?

I took a class with him.

I paid $40 for a month

and the man talked for two hours.

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

Yeah, he talks a lot.

I like him though.

- Yeah?

- I was...

I was thinking of auditioning

for the Studio one of these days.

Strasberg is a genius.

He'll kill you. He'll nail you

if your work isn't specific.

Have you seen Brando work?

He's working

on Hamlet right now.

- But he hasn't shown it.

- He's a great actor.

- My name is Clyde Baxter.

- Larry Lapinsky.

- You gonna keep your name?

- Sure. Why not? Is it tooJewish?

No, it's just

a difficult name.

What about

Edward G. Robinson?

Morris Carnovsky?

Cary Grant?

My real name

is Charlie Belitnikoff.

Who's gonna

remember that?

Larry Lapinsky.

[Clattering]

- Good luck.

- See you later, Charlie.

- Clyde. My name is Clyde.

- Clyde. Sorry. Clyde.

Good luck.

I believe I was before him,

was I not?

[Indistinct]

- Just have a seat.

- Thank you.

They're not gonna go

before me, are they?

- Your name?

- My name? My name is Clyde Baxter.

Just have a seat, please.

[Man]

Come on in.

- Hi, kid. I'm Sid Weinberg.

- Larry Lapinsky.

Sit down, sit down.

[Chuckling]

That's Wally Berry.

A little

before your time.

How old are you?

- I'm about 19.

- You're about 24, 5.

- I'm 22.

- I like your face for this picture.

You look

like a tough kid.

Stand up, stand up.

Yeah. Yeah, hair, nose.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, you got a real street look.

- Where you from?

- Brooklyn.

- Brownsville.

- Murder Incorporated, huh?

It was a tough neighborhood.

I'm living in the Village now.

- You're not a faigelah, are you?

- No, but I'm Jewish.

[Laughs]

Comedian, huh?

I like that.

Now, look, kid.

What's your name again?

Lapinsky. Larry Lapinsky,

but I'd be willing...

to change it to Frank Reilley,

if that would help.

Save the jokes

for the screen test.

I want you to test for me

in a studio here in New York.

If you get it, you're gonna

have to fly out to the Coast.

- Are you available?

- Are you kidding?

No. Now,

don't count on anything.

There are about 100 guys

up for this thing.

How does your mother

feel about your acting career?

- Do you know my mother?

- No, but I remember mine.

When I started out...

this was in the old days...

vaudeville,

Keith-Albee circuit...

Well, kid, when my mother

found out I wanted to be a tap dancer...

she punched me in the chops

with her purse.

- You were a tap dancer?

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