Nice Guy Johnny

Hello, hello, this is Johnny Rizzo

joining you on the overnight

on the K-Spot, sports talk, KSPT!

How's everyone doing tonight?

I'm gonna be with you

from 2:
00 to 6:00

for all you insomniacs out there

that have a lot to talk about.

So let's jump right in

and take our first caller.

Brian, from Danville.

How you doing, my man?

What would you like to talk about?

Look, I know our beloved A's

aren't having the best summer.

But unlike some other guys,

I'm not gonna use my air time

to rip them apart, all right?

I'm a loyal fan.

Instead, I'm gonna encourage everyone

going out to the Coliseum tonight

to show a little support, okay?

Send a little love to my man Gio;

spread the love, not the hate.

Don't get me started

on the Warriors, okay?

I'm already hella-mad

the way they treated Mullin.

I'm not just saying that

because Chris, like myself,

is another transplanted New Yorker,

I'm saying it because

he was a class act.

You really want to talk steroids

scandal with me? That's fine.

I know what you're gonna say

and I'm not being too harsh -

look, when a player takes steroids,

they are violating

the integrity of the game.

It's cheating. Okay?

So, look, fellas,

you wanna take a banned substance,

go for it.

But that means

no hall of fame for you.

The Tour de France! Really?

You want me

to talk about bike riding?

This is a sports show! Next caller!

Whoop, that's my fiance.

- She says you gotta hustle off.

You've got a flight to catch.

- It's 6:
00 already! Wow!

Time flies when you're having fun,

sports fans.

This is Johnny Rizzo

saying goodbye, good morning!

I'm out!

Good show, good show!

See you, Jimmy.

Just give me 10 minutes!

Please, 10 minutes!

Hey, baby.

- Hi.

- I'm late! I'm late. I'm sorry.

- I dunno why you decided

to work last night, Johnny.

You're gonna miss your flight.

The cab's already here.

- I know. I saw him.

- And you forgot

to pack your suit, didn't you?

- No, I did. It's in there.

- And a tie?

'Cause this is a business meeting

with businessmen,

not a whole bunch of sports nerds.

Seriously, you need to wear a suit.

- Baby, I'm gonna wear a suit,

just not a tie.

- Okay. I think

you look really good in a suit.

All right, come here

and say goodbye to me.

Thank you, thank you,

thank you so much for doing this.

And I know it's not how you envisioned

your career going,

but if you get this job,

we're going to be back in New York

right after the honeymoon.

Right? It's a good thing.

- Yeah...

- Now give me a kiss.

- I gotta go.

- Okay, you can go now.

Ahem. Um...

Do you really want to wear that hat?

It sorta makes you look like a toddler.

- I like the hat.

- Um... no. Take it off.

Okay, and you have dinner

with my parents on Sunday night.

- Right.

- And please

call my father ''Dr. Meadows,'' okay?

He does not like to be called ''Mister.''

Can you remember that?

- I called him ''Mister'' one time.

- Yeah, and it really pissed him off.

- He's only a shrink, though.

- Whoa.

Okay, look, it's the least you can do

considering he got you

this job interview.

- Fair enough.

- All right, here's the address

for the shop.

That's in Nolita, which is downtown.

It's not too far from the hotel. Okay?

- Got it. I promise.

- Thank you.

All right.

- I love you. I'll see you.

I'll call you when I get there, yeah?

Cool.

It's a voice in the back of your mind

Oh oh oh oh oh oh

It's a song

It's a beautiful rhyme

Oh oh oh oh oh oh

It gets louder and louder each time

Oh oh oh oh oh oh

It's a sign that you find me all right

Oh oh oh oh oh oh

Step outside and off the bus

There's more to life

there's more to us

The window is open wide

Open for more

Oh oh oh

Open for more

Oh oh oh

Open for more

Oh oh oh

Open for more

Oh oh oh

- Hey, hey! Look who's back!

- Terry!

- There he is!

All right, buddy, sit your ass down.

- Thank you, sir.

- Have yourself a drink.

And do me a favour,

take off that ridiculous hat.

You're in New York now, all right?

- Actually, can I grab a beer?

Is that okay?

- No, you're not gonna have a beer,

you're gonna have a real drink

and we're gonna have a real conversation

about what's really going on.

- What do you mean,

''what's really going on?''

- You're getting married in a few weeks

and I'd like to know why exactly.

- Because I love her?

- Because you love her.

Look, that goes without saying.

But that doesn't mean

you have to marry her, my man.

So what happened? You got

caught up in the moment one night,

go deep, forget to throw a glove on?

- No.

No, no. I always ''throw a glove on,''

thank you for your concern.

Just, uh... I think it's a good time.

- Look,

take it from one who's been there.

Never a good time.

- Oh, great.

- Never!

- I disagree.

See, I think If you love someone,

why wait?

You should just go for it,

you know, get on with your life.

- Get on with your life?

Listen to yourself, young blood,

all right?

Life is like a marathon.

It's not the 100-yard dash.

It's like that single-malt scotch

I just poured you, right?

You sip it. You don't shoot it.

- Colourful.

But I'm not a young blood anymore,

Uncle Terry.

I'm gonna be 25 next month.

- Well, la-di-f***ing-da.

Twenty-five? My man,

these are your prime years

to go out there and make it happen.

Did you not notice all the fine ass

on the street walking over here?

- Yeah, I noticed

all the fine ass on the street.

- I actually don't think you did,

because there's a bevy of horny honeys

out there and you know what they want?

- What do they want?

- They want their pound of flesh.

And you know who they're expecting

to give it to them?

- Who are they expecting's

gonna give it to them?

- You.

- Me? No, you!

You can, okay? Be my guest.

I'm not that guy.

Besides, Claire and I

have been together since college.

I love her.

- Whoa, whoa.

You have been with the same chick

since college?

- Yeah. You met her, actually,

at my graduation party.

- This is heartbreaking, Johnny.

That is the only piece of ass

you've had since then?

- Okay, she's not a piece of ass.

All right? That's my fiance.

- Fine.

My apologies, all right?

- Okay.

- But here's what your Uncle Terry

is gonna do for you this weekend.

All right, a little wedding gift for you.

I'm gonna take you out,

get you some strange.

- No, I don't really need

that wedding gift. I'm good, thanks.

- How about I get you a BJ, then.

I know some chick--

- BJ!?

No BJ! No. All right?

Claire takes care of me.

- Fine.

All right... Here's a thought instead.

You're going out to your mother's

for lunch tomorrow, right?

- Right...

- So what do you say

you let me drive you out there,

afterwards, we'll power out

to the Hamptons

for the weekend?

- It sounds like fun,

uncle Terry. It does.

It's just...

I got some errands

I told Claire I would run.

- Wh-what kind of errands

do you have to run for Claire?

- She wants me to pick up

a handbag, or something,

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