Nice Guy Johnny Page #9

and the windows open?

I mean, it's the Hamptons,

but come on. You can't do that.

It's f***ing stupid.

- F***, she's gonna kill me!

She's gonna f***ing kill me!

Goddammit!!

- You know what?

You could maybe...

maybe use this as an opportunity

to finally stand up for yourself.

You could tell her, ''Hey, look, babe,

I just didn't have time--''

- Shut up!

Shut the f*** up!

You are a scumbag!

My life was fine until you made me

come out here this weekend!

I'm sick of your sh*t!

Take me home!

- Look, I'll put the f***ing crust back,

all right?

Here, look. I'm putting it back.

- Do me a favour--

- She'll never know the difference.

- Can we not talk

for the rest of the ride?

- Fine.

Here we are.

- I'm sorry I called you a scumbag.

All right? I didn't mean it.

- Do me a favour?

Stop apologizing, man, all right?

Look, by most people's definition,

I am a little bit of a scumbag.

And you know what?

I'm okay with it.

- You're okay with being a scumbag?

That doesn't make any sense.

- Well, on the relative scale of things,

I'm a pretty happy guy. Okay?

So no apology necessary.

- All right.

- However, if I can, I'd like to give you

one last little bit of advice?

- More advice?

You're gonna give me more advice?

Okay, let's hear it.

- Stop being such a nice guy, all right?

You know what they say

about nice guys.

- They finish last?

- I'm not talking

about running around chasing girls,

getting laid.

I know that's not your thing,

you're not that guy.

You made that abundantly clear.

But stop worrying

about how everybody else feels, man.

You gotta start worrying about you.

What makes Johnny happy.

Okay? Because you're not doing

anybody any favours

if you're unhappy

and you're dissatisfied.

I think you know

what I'm talking about.

- Okay. All right. I'll try.

- Cool.

Now do me a favor

and get the hell outta here.

I gotta get this truck back to Jersey

before her husband gets home

from his golf weekend.

I live a charmed life, my friend.

- That you do.

Hey, Claire, it's me.

Look, please give me a call back. Okay?

I'm gonna head out to your parents,

I'd really like to know

what I'm getting myself into.

Um... I'm wearing the suit!

Uh, look, if you get this

in the next 10 minutes,

please give me a call. Okay?

Um...

... I love you?

Baby, it's me again.

Okay, first of all,

I didn't do anything with that girl.

Okay? I'm at your dad's house,

we're gonna talk about the interview.

I'm wearing my suit!

What else can I do for you?

All right, I'll call you when I'm done.

- Huh. Sonny!

- Hi, sir.

- You have managed to get all

of the women in my life really upset.

My wife is so pissed off at you,

she left the apartment.

She doesn't even wanna see your face.

- It's been a big misunderstanding, sir.

I've tried to contact Claire,

she isn't picking up her phone.

- You blame her?

Come on, have a seat. Talk to me.

- Sir, it's not what you think.

It's actually... kind of a funny story.

I was helping this girl

and I left my phone in my pocket--

- You don't have

to explain yourself to me.

I was young once, too,

and I know what you're going through.

Getting married is terrifying.

And with good reason.

Marriage is... hard.

- Sir, I didn't do anything.

I was just helping this girl

and I left my phone in my pocket.

I gave it to her--

- I. Don't. Care.

But what I would like to talk to you

about is this job interview.

Claire tells me that you're having

second thoughts about that as well.

- Sir, I love my job. It's the only thing

I ever wanted to do.

To be honest, I'm really good at it.

- Tell me something.

How much do you make at that station?

- Well, right now, not a lot.

But I've been on air for four years,

I got a nice fan base.

I don't know, maybe one day, it'll--

- You don't make sh*t!

- I don't make sh*t.

- And you and I both know that.

And you know

I'm supporting you and Claire.

- Well, sir,

I don't think that's entirely true.

- Oh, really?

Really? It isn't?

Do you pay the 2,000-a-month rent

for that house, or do I?

I mean, you know that, right?

You know that I pay your rent.

You are included in these monthly

conversations about bills.

It's not just Claire sitting there

with a calculator

and a chequebook every month.

- No, of course not, sir.

And I told Claire I think we don't need

to live in such a nice place.

We could eat out less

and maybe take the bus.

- And how about Claire's car?

And her car insurance?

And that trip you two took

to Cabo last year?

- I understand, Mr. Meadows,

but I never really wanted to go to Cabo--

- Dr. Meadows.

- Dr.--

- If you don't mind. I busted my ass,

got through medical school.

I think I've earned the right

to be called Doctor. Yeah.

- Of course.

- Okay.

- Dr. Meadows, try to see

where I'm coming from here.

This is my dream.

I went to journalism school.

This is what I wanna do

and I don't wanna give it up.

And I don't think I have to.

Claire and I are still young.

We don't have to live

in such a nice place.

We can cut down on our expenses,

be happy with...

with less.

- You obviously don't know Claire

very well, do you?

Tell me something.

What does your...

dream... pay for,

while I'm paying for everything else?

- It makes me happy.

- It makes you happy.

You have got one swinging pair of balls

on you, kid.

- Look, Mr. ... Dr. Meadows,

I understand

what kind of opportunity this is.

I do. And I appreciate it.

So I guess I am willing to sit down

with your friend tomorrow

and discuss it?

If that's okay?

- You're willing to sit down

and discuss it?

How very white of you.

You gotta be out of your f***ing mind!

I cancelled the interview.

This is a very important man

with a business to run.

I can't risk wasting his time

with your wishy-washy attitude.

My advice to you

is to get on a plane back to Claire,

and see if you can salvage

your relationship.

Now you know your way out.

Good night.

- Jimmy.

Hey, man, it's me.

Please tell me you didn't give away

my time slot yet.

You didn't. That's perfect. Don't.

I'm not taking the job in New York.

That's great.

I'll tell you when I see you, all right?

All right, man. Bye.

- Claire?

Baby, you home?

- Yeah, I'm in here.

Hey, baby.

Do me a favour, come sit down.

- Yeah.

- We need to talk.

- Yeah.

Um... you know

nothing happened, right?

- Yeah, I know. I know.

- Okay.

- And... I apologize

for not taking

any of your phone calls...

... but I was understandably upset.

- Right. But you know I didn't cheat.

All right, I'm not that guy.

I'm not wired that way.

- Yeah, I know. I know.

- Okay.

- I guess I have to take

some responsibility, because...

... I should never have let you go

to New York alone.

We hatched this plan together,

and I should've been there

to support you.

Okay, but I have some good news.

Um... I've already talked to my father...

... and he's not mad anymore.

At least he's not as furious

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