Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian Page #8

now!

Get them!

Fear not, Larry!

I will help Jedediah!

You come at them from behind!

- Hey, what's going on?

- I'm hiding.

Hiding? What are you doing?

Come on, we need you.

- I'm a failure.

- No, you're not.

Did you foolishly lead

at the Battle of Little Bighorn?

- No.

- No? Not good. Not good at all.

- That's not good.

- Sure, I talk a good game,

but the truth of the matter is,

I don't deserve these stars.

I will always be famous

for my biggest failure.

Hey.

The past is the past, okay?

Right now, this moment, this night,

this is what you're gonna be

remembered for.

This is your last stand.

- They need a leader.

- Yeah, they need a leader.

Yeah? You want to be their leader, huh?

- Yeah, I do.

- Let's do this!

- All right?

- Yeah.

Let's go!

Not good!

Larry!

Hey, Able!

I want to help!

Oh, great.

Who are you?

This is my museum!

Well, he's my human.

Back off!

You need all the help you can get,

Jungle-Dweller!

Get over yourself space snob!

Guys! Hey, guys!

This is not the time

to get into this, all right?

Dexter, you know better.

All right?

That's what happens when you do that!

You get that.

Stop! Just stop! Stop!

Now, listen. You're both proud capuchin!

You need to concentrate

on slapping the enemy!

Keep it together, all right?

Come on, let's go! Let's do it!

- Jedediah! They need us!

- I ain't gonna make it!

Afraid this cowboy's been

to his last hoedown.

Octavius, remember me as I was,

wild, and free, and...

- No need for final words.

- I'm not finished yet.

I want to get

to the story of our relationship,

the evolution from enemy to friends.

- No!

- It'll make you cry!

No! Because you are going to live!

- Let's go to work.

- Have a sword.

Sword!

Incoming!

That smarts.

You smack, you kick!

You smack, you kick!

You smack, you kick!

Teamwork, fellas! Wunderbar!

How you doing, fellas?

- Are you all right?

- Never better.

Listen, when I give you the signal,

I want you to open the gate.

- I take it you have a plan.

- I'm gonna divide the house.

The tablet! Now!

Okay, sure, you can have it.

Just tell me who the boss is

and I'll give it to you.

Or should I give it to Kahmunrah?

He's your master, right?

- Nyet! He is not our master!

- Really? 'Cause he acts like he is.

But fine, just tell me who the boss is

and you can have it.

Hey! That'd be me.

This man is a peasant!

I am the only one here of noble birth!

Really? 'Cause he's got more medals

and a bigger hat, but...

- Thank you.

- You might got a lot of medals,

but you put one of your

little child hands on that tablet again,

it'll be the last thing them tiny

little mitts of yours ever touch.

Why would you touch little Nippy?

I can handle this, okay?

You can handle nothing!

You can barely speak, you fool!

You know what? No problem.

I'll give it to you. You see that?

Oh, you're a spunky little fella!

Very clever, Mr. Daley, getting them

to fight amongst themselves.

Yeah. I can't really take credit.

It was Abraham Lincoln's idea.

You know, a house divided can't...

- Doesn't do well.

- Yes, well,

you should have saved yourself

when you had the chance,

because now I shall have

the tremendous pleasure

of killing you myself!

What are you?

I'm the night guard.

No!

Victory is ours!

Yeah!

That's what I'm talking about!

Yeah!

I'd say somebody found his moxie.

The Battle of the Smithsonian.

Perhaps the greatest battle

the world will never know.

We'll know.

Yeah.

Oh, man, I got an hour till sunrise.

I got to get you guys back.

In case you forgot, Gigantor,

they don't want us there anymore.

Well, I do.

Hey, think you could hook us up

with a ride?

My pleasure, of course.

Hang on a second.

One last thing I got to take care of.

Come on, boy! Come on, come on!

Get in there!

Feels good, right?

You're welcome!

Just get back inside by sunrise, okay?

These are promising days, indeed.

All right. Hey, come on, guys.

Remember, stay with your buddy,

all right?

Good, good.

Well, you're back where you belong.

Yeah. Think so.

I guess I should be going.

Hey, Amelia.

That thing that I was trying

to tell you about earlier...

There's not really

an easy way to put this,

- but, in the morning...

- I know what's coming, Mr. Daley.

I've always known.

But it doesn't matter.

You've given me the adventure

of a lifetime in one night.

And I have a feeling

it's going to be a beautiful sunrise.

Have fun.

Thanks.

I don't know about you fellas, but

this old cowboy just got to second base.

- There she goes.

- Straight towards...

Canada.

She's heading to Canada.

No, now she course-corrected.

Here, head on downstairs, guys.

- All righty.

- Good night, Larry.

Hey, boy, how's it going?

Lawrence! Bless you

for bringing them back.

And might I say,

a hearty well-done is in order.

And may I also point out, they

cannot hide in the basement forever.

Yeah. No, I think I got that

figured out.

- Really?

- Yeah.

Sun come, dum-dum.

Our moai friend is right.

The dawn will soon be upon us.

Hey, Teddy.

Remember the other night

you were saying something

about the key to happiness?

- Did I?

- You said, "The key to happiness is..."

And then the sun came up and you froze.

- I think I got it figured out.

- Yes?

It's doing what you love, isn't it?

With people you love.

Actually, I was going to say

"physical exercise",

but the love thing's good, too.

- Lawrence!

- Yeah.

Welcome home, son.

Thanks.

Well, folks, the wait is over.

After two months of renovation,

tonight, The Museum of Natural History

reopens its doors to the public.

As you can see,

New Yorkers are flooding in,

eager to see

just what changes are in store.

With its new, extended night hours,

we're told the museum

will be more lively than ever.

- Well, well, well, well!

- Hey.

I see the uniform still fits

after these long, long years.

Yeah, yeah.

Really hasn't been that long, but...

So, to what do we owe

this "triumphant" return?

Not cut out for the "corporate" jungle

after all. Got fired.

No, actually, I sold my company.

The world doth move in mysterious ways.

One day, we've got to get rid

of everything old,

the next, a rich, anonymous donor

gives a huge endowment.

With a proviso:

everything stays the same. So...

- Well, not exactly the same, obviously.

- No.

Bully, lads and ladies,

the name is Theodore Roosevelt,

naturalist, Rough Rider and twenty-sixth

President of these great United States.

Come along, lad. The hunt is afoot.

Lawrence.

Hey, you dum-dums bring me gum-gum?

My parents gave me this tablet

some 3,000 years ago,

entrusting me with one of my people's

most prized possessions.

- Does it do anything?

- Do anything?

Yeah. What's the point

if it doesn't do anything?

Tell 'em

Actually, it has a magical power

that brings all the exhibits to life.

No, really, what's it do?

Nothing. It's just for decoration.

I knew it.

This place is lame.

This thing doesn't even look real.

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