Night at the Museum: Secret of the Tomb Page #4

Theodore Roosevelt...

President of the United

States of America.

I have no idea what that means.

I'm Larry, and this is my son, Nick.

You have a noble face, Nick.

- Thanks.

- Thanks for the help.

Now, you...

You remind me of a man

I once knew at Camelot.

Really?

One of the Knights of the Round Table?

No, Erik.

Erik?

Our fool.

He was the funniest fool I ever met.

He was so good,

he didn't even have to do anything.

He could just walk

into a room and you'd laugh.

- You have what he had. The gift.

- That's weird.

- You could be a fool.

- I don't know about that.

Oh, come on, of course you could!

We'd get you one of those hats

with the funny little dangly bells.

Dangly bells?

"Dangly bells. "

Didn't I tell you? The gift.

He does what seems like nothing.

A sort of deadpan...

tiny little...

"Hmm. " "Hmm. "

Expressionless, you know, sort of a...

"Hmm. Hmm. "

sort of thing.

Just like Erik.

Sounds like a great guy.

We got to get going, so...

Camelot.

Okay.

Someday, I shall return

to its mighty towers...

to King Arthur...

and Queen Guinevere.

Sweet...

beauteous Guinevere.

But I'm sworn not to until

I have completed my quest.

I must find the Holy Grail.

Well, good luck with that.

And thanks for the help again.

We got to get to Egypt,

so we'll see you.

- I will lead you.

- No, it's okay.

Halt, Dangly Bells!

There is strange magic in the air,

and dangerous beasts are afoot.

It is the duty of a true knight...

to protect and care for those in need.

We're off.

I guess he's coming with us.

Larry!

Jed and Octavius?

They must have fallen out

while we were running.

Jed?

Octavius!

Jedediah!

- Jed!

- Octo!

Oh, no.

Is that Octavius's cape?

Here.

- Nicky.

- Yeah.

Guys?

Gigantor!

Jed?

They won't last long in those

heating vents, Lawrence.

At their size, they'll bake like

tiny little scarabs in the Sinai.

Too dark?

This is the end, boy!

This is the last roundup!

Hold my hand!

Why?

Never mind.

We're a long way from home, boy.

Did you ask me to hold your hand?

No.

Jedo!

Octo!

They could be anywhere between

here and the intake vent.

What do you see, Dex?

You know he's a monkey, Lawrence.

He can't talk.

No, but he can fit.

Nicky... give me your phone.

- Why?

- For Dex.

I don't understand one thing

that's going on here.

I don't, either. Dad, what's going on?

I'm sort of set up to track your phone.

You're sort of set up to track my phone?

You track my phone?

Yeah, I'm your dad.

I'm looking out for you.

No. No. Hold up.

"Spying on" is not the same thing

as just looking out for someone.

You'll get it back, I promise.

But right now,

it's going on the monkey's back.

All right. Dex, come here.

Thanks, man.

Listen. I need you to go down there

and find them, all right?

Think you can handle it?

Good man.

Stay safe.

I think it's right here.

"Right here. "

Classic.

The gift of laughter.

Thank you, Dangly Bells.

First quest?

Not exactly.

I thought you were going to Egypt.

We are, but we got to do this first.

That's not how a quest works.

A quest is one thing. It's not,

like, "Holy Grail and a monkey. "

Yeah, well, my guys are missing

and Dexter's gonna find them.

What is the quest? Gold?

Fountain of Youth?

Magic tablet.

It's that thing Ahk is holding.

It shouldn't be too hard

to take it from him.

He seems well-toned and lean...

but weak.

It would be like taking candy

from a feeble Egyptian baby.

No, we're not trying to take it,

we're trying to fix it.

There's something wrong with it.

It's kind of complicated.

It might be less complicated if you

stopped following a chimpanzee.

He's not a chimpanzee, he's a capuchin.

The fool seems agitated.

That's often his way.

But I assure you, he's no fool.

Is it true what he says?

The tablet that you carry is magic?

It is, indeed.

Everything around you has come to

life tonight for the very first time...

all because of this tablet.

Amazing.

Then they're not real?

They're as real as any of us.

Yes, but we're real people.

They're just things.

And they don't even know.

They must be unbelievably stupid.

It can be confusing at first.

Hello, frog!

Keep hopping!

You're real!

Guys, I think we're gonna

have to cut through Asia.

Not a clue.

None.

I can't really see much.

We could jump down, hope for the best.

But we have no idea what's down there.

We don't know what's up here, either.

This is a Roman city.

I can feel the familiar pull of history

in its very foundations.

Where the heck is everybody?

I've seen this town before,

I'm sure of it.

Romans?

I see you have the name

of a lady on your arm.

Andrea. Yeah.

So this Lady Andrea is your Guinevere.

Does any man stand

between you and your ladylove?

Yeah, actually. My dad kind of messed

things up the other night.

- Nick.

- Oh, we're stopping.

Let no man stand

between you and your destiny.

Oh, "destiny" may be

overstating it a bit.

We just have calculus together.

It's more one of those...

fleeting moments of eye contact.

"Who's gonna look away first?"

But I get you. No man...

- Good.

- Okay.

"liepwop. "

liepwop.

Doesn't ring a bell.

Now who's this son of a gun?

- Pompeii!

- I'm sorry.

- I'm having trouble hearing you!

- Pompeii!

No comprendo, amigo...

because you got the thing

in front of you!

What are they doing?

Where in the blazes

are they stampeding off to?

Was it something we said?

Come on back to liepwop!

- There's plenty of room!

- Come on back!

They're as crazy as road lizards.

People are strange.

Hey, guy. We're just passing through.

- It's a Garuda from Tibet.

- A Garuda?

Hi, Garuda. How you doing?

Garuda! How you doing?

Cool, great.

Okay. We just...

You know what? We just got to get through.

I don't have time.

Please. Okay.

I'm not gonna play this game with you.

I got to go through. Really.

Get back.

- A dragon.

- No, it's not a dragon. It's a...

It's a Xiangliu.

Mythical snake demon.

It looks like a dragon.

I say we kill it.

What? No, it's asleep.

You're right. It's not very sporting

to kill it while it's asleep.

Let's wake it up and then kill it.

I shall go first,

and I shall take the boy.

What are you...? No!

You're not gonna take the boy.

- Why not?

- Because he's a boy!

Larry, there comes a time

in every man's life...

when he must slay his own dragon.

Not this kid, all right?

He still hasn't finished all his

thank-you notes from his bar mitzvah.

Anyway, that's just an expression.

Not where I come from.

He's not gonna

slay his dragon right now.

We're gonna go around it.

We're gonna go around now,

or else we're gonna lose the signal.

Come on.

liepwop.

Pompeii!

liepwop. Are you sure you're

reading that right, pal?

Pompeii!

"Pompeii. "

"Ask not what your country can do for you...

"Ask what you can do for your country. "

There it goes again!

Attila!

- Teddy!

- Charge!

Whoa!

Fantastic! It's awake!

Now we can kill it!

Whoa!

- Attila!

- Dad!

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