Night at the Museum: Secret of the Tomb Page #5

Nicky!

I'll get the boy!

- Ever used a blade?

- Only in World of Warcraft!

You're about to learn.

"The only thing we have

to fear is fear itself!"

"Doing a heck of a job, Brownie. "

Behind you!

Duck!

Last roundup, kemosabe!

Time to slap on the barbecue sauce, boy!

What?

No, no! You wouldn't!

He must!

Clear!

We must never speak

of what happened here today.

Come on! That wasn't necessary!

It's out!

These things really do save lives.

Are you all right?

Are you all right, my dear?

- You okay?

- Yeah, thanks.

You fought bravely, sire.

One day, I promise you,

we shall drink dragon's blood

from the victor's cup.

I'm good with just, like,

soda or water, too.

But I like the energy we got going.

From now on,

you must choose your own path.

And let no man tell you otherwise.

We better let Larry know we're okay.

Turn around.

Larry's probably worried about us.

How are we going to find them now?

Lawrence?

I fear we've turned a corner.

I'm becoming wax again, son.

All right. We'll look for them later.

We got to get to Egypt now.

Wait, shouldn't we keep looking

for Jed and Octavius?

Nick is right.

A true knight never shirks his duties.

If we don't get to Egypt soon

we're not gonna save anybody.

Dada say, "Stay!"

Stay!

Dada say Laaa no eat.

Stay, Laaa!

This is it.

Perhaps I should accompany you in.

No, I think we got it from here.

- Really?

- Yeah. No, we're good.

Right. Well...

friends...

Larry...

clown-faced keeper

of the magic tablet...

I shall never forget your bravery.

Nor your jests.

Bye.

I shall not say goodbye.

- I am.

- What?

I'm gonna say goodbye.

I have to go, I'm sorry.

I'll see you.

Really, man, thank you.

For everything.

I haven't seen these walls

for many a moon.

Ahkmen?

Mother.

Father.

Welcome home, my son.

I want you to meet my friends.

I am Merenkahre...

Pharaoh of the Nile and Father

to the Son of the Sun.

And I am Shepseheret...

the Glittering Jewel

of the Nine Kingdoms.

And I am Larry.

Guardian of Brooklyn.

Yes.

I actually live in Manhattan now.

I know, but it doesn't sound as cool.

Yeah.

We would be very honored if you

could take a look at the tablet.

There's something happening with it.

We don't understand what it is.

You are speaking with a pharaoh.

Kiss my staff.

Is it okay if I don't?

You will show respect.

I am the descendant of Ra, the sun god.

I understand that

and I totally respect you.

I just don't pray to Ra, so...

The Egyptian gods

are the only true gods.

Well, we try to stay

a little more open-minded.

I mean, Sacajawea,

she honors her spiritual ancestors...

and you pray to some sort

of goat god, Attila?

I'm half-Irish, half-Jewish...

You are? I love Jews!

We owned 40,000 of them!

- Such lovely people.

- Here we go.

They were very happy,

always singing with the candles.

Yeah. They really weren't happy.

- Really?

- No. They left.

They spent about 40 years

in the desert trying to escape.

Yeah. We have dinner once

a year and talk about it.

It's a big deal for us.

Listen, could you take

a look at that tablet?

There's something wrong with it.

It's losing its power.

Do you think you could fix it?

To do that, I would have to divulge

the secret of the tablet.

I promise we won't tell anybody.

No.

I'll kiss your staff.

Too late.

Father, why do you insist

on keeping this to yourself?

The secret was to be passed down

to you at the proper time.

Well, it has been 4,000 years.

Now seems like a good time.

You were born at midnight.

I was Pharaoh...

and I had seen wonders

most men only dream of.

But when I first gazed upon you...

you were instantly

more precious to me...

than all the wonders

of the ancient world.

I knew I could never bear

to say goodbye.

I commanded the High Priest to create

a gift to you, my son...

using all we had learned of

the mysteries of the afterlife.

Forged in the temple of Khonsu,

god of the moon...

and watcher over nighttime travelers...

the Tablet of Ahkmenrah.

Our tomb was designed to channel

Khonsu's rays down to the tablet...

rejuvenating its powers every night.

The moon god bestowed

his power upon the tablet...

so that, as long as

it bathed in his light...

our family could be together forever,

and not even death could part us.

It's been away

from Khonsu's light too long.

My son!

What is happening to you?

It needs moonlight...

otherwise we shall all

be dead by sunrise.

Hurry!

If the tablet dies...

nothing can bring it back!

What are you doing?

The tablet. Now.

Wait, listen to me. That thing is dying.

If it doesn't get moonlight...

everything ends, like, for real.

King Arthur wasted years searching

for the Holy Grail.

To think it was a tablet all along.

Would you just give it to me?

You don't know what you're doing!

My quest is complete.

I ride for Camelot tonight.

Just keep it, okay?

But just put it in the moonlight

and turn that center piece.

Sorry, not my first quest.

And by the way,

Erik was much funnier than you!

Go get the others.

We can't let him leave the building!

Whoa! Easy there, partner! Slow it down!

I don't know who you are...

but I'm pretty dang sure

that tablet don't belong to you.

Now wait a second!

Come back here! This ain't over!

You'll rue the day you

mocked us with your huge sword

and hypnotic blue eyes!

His eyes are very blue.

Speak softly and carry a big stick.

Lawrence, we have a problem.

This one turned to wax as well.

I have a saying, too.

"Speak loudly and carry a bigger stick. "

- It's over there!

- You mean up there.

Come on.

Got it.

- Teddy.

- The tablet, now!

I shan't ask you again, fool!

And this is giving me a headache!

Give me the tablet!

Let me go, Lawrence.

No! Teddy, no!

Teddy!

There.

That'll be mine.

Hey, that was a good one.

No idea that would work.

Larry!

Hey, you guys, how you doing?

Still in one piece!

- Octavius, I think this belongs to you.

- Thank you.

I don't understand.

Why is Lancelot staying strong

while we get weaker?

It's his first night.

Newborns are stronger

but it matters not.

Unless we succeed, he, too,

will be dead come the dawn.

We can't let him leave the building.

Sir, can you go back to Egypt,

in case he comes through there?

- Of course. - Nicky, take Attila,

check the loading dock.

- Got it. - Teddy, go to the South Wing,

cover the side doors.

I got the main entrance.

You! I knew you smelled a bit off!

- Didn't you just see that?

- See what?

The knight on the horse

that just rode through!

Stop trying to distract me

with your magical fantasy!

I found your filthy twin, here,

in the freight room!

He's not my twin.

I got him, and what could

he say for himself?

Shut up! Shut up in your face!

Shut up right now!

Do you want to be smashed?

Yeah, you can run,

but if you leave those gates...

I swear to you,

your hideous doppelganger...

who looks a lot like the lead singer

of the Counting Crows...

will get it!

Dada.

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