Night of the Comet Page #2

I just might put the radio station

on autopilot and sneak out myself.

This is the Big K

of Los Angeles. A great-looking morning

in southern California. 50,000 watts

of oil, steel, and passion FM in the a.m..

It's wake-up time in the City of Angels.

And I'm Steve LaBeau.

- God damn it!

- What?

What?

I've been waiting by that door

for the last 30 minutes,

and that pinhead hasn't brought

the film back yet.

Give the guy a break.

I mean, people are late sometimes.

No, something's wrong.

If he screwed that film up,

we could all be in a lot of trouble.

I'm gonna go over there on the bike.

Oh, jeez!

Don't I get an Egg McMuffin or anything?

- You could do me a favor.

- I did you a favor last night.

If that guy calls,

you tell him I'm on my way over,

and I'm very, very, very, very pissed.

- Hey, what about my 15 bucks?

- Tell him you're pissed, too.

DMK.

You trust people, you get

screwed over every goddamn time.

Is that you?

Yeah, it's about frigging time.

That's the end of you, DMK.

You're history.

God, bad smog.

Sh*t!

Sh*t!

Oh, damn it!

Just great!

I don't believe this,

there's clothes everywhere!

I hate days that start like this.

Oh, damn it, damn it!

Eww. Gross.

Larry?

What is this? Trick or treat?

- Come here.

- What?

- Come here!

- Come here, your ass.

Alright look, I don't know what your scene

is, but don't do anything stupid, okay?

No, you don't seem to understand.

I've been trained to take care of myself.

You know what I'm saying?

I don't want to hurt you.

Oh, sh*t!

No!

Let go of me!

No!

Come on, come on, come on!

Samantha?

Doris?

- Samantha?

- What?

God. What are you trying to do?

Give me a heart attack?

- I thought you were Doris.

- You know, she decked me last night.

Knocked one of my teeth loose, even.

Wait till Daddy hears about that.

You know how he's always telling me

to be careful with my mouth

on account of the dental plan

doesn't cover anything cosmetic.

Anyway, get this. I think Chuck and Doris

spent the night together last night.

Wait till Daddy hears about that.

I mean, even if he isn't pissed off

about my mouth, which I can't imagine.

What's happening?

Oh, yeah, I guess you are a little confused.

God, you look terrible.

I ran away last night after she slugged me.

Left a note and everything.

But I didn't have any place to go,

so I spent the night

in a lawn storage shed.

It was pretty gross with the Synerol

and everything.

God, look at this kitchen.

I'm not cleaning this up.

So anyway, since I was still here

this morning,

I thought, hey, I'll go

to pep squad practice and split after.

Except for I don't know

if pep squad practice is on or not.

I can't get anybody on the phone.

Sammy, you can't get anybody

on the phone because everybody is gone.

What? could you grab the milk, please?

- I swear to God!

- You made me swallow my gum.

There's nobody.

I mean, there's no body!

Oh, right. Nobody. I'm sure.

- Come here.

- Hey!

Back off!

This sweater cost 80 bucks.

Muffy?

Stupid dog.

Look! Look at this!

- At what?

- Doris isn't at Chuck's. I'll show you Doris.

Here's Doris.

This is all that's left of her,

this and dust.

Look, here's Chuck.

Where are the kids?

It's Saturday morning.

Where are the goddamn kids?

They're around.

They're not around.

Look, if you're trying to scare me,

you're doing it, okay?

- I'm not trying to scare you.

- Then stop it.

I'm not doing it.

You try calling someone.

Not just your pep squad. Anyone.

Nobody's home!

Unbelievable, that's song number 16

on the survey this week.

Don't forget, we preview the top 20

every Friday night.

A great way to start a super weekend

here in the southland.

Get down!

- Are you sure this is the radio station?

- Yeah. Just go on in.

Well, don't push.

Do you think whatever happened,

happened everywhere?

Like in Burbank or places like that?

We'll ask the DJ.

He does the news, doesn't he?

Search me. I always change the channel

when the news comes on.

Here's something in here.

So, where is he?

I mean, somebody has to run this stuff,

don't they?

We've got trouble. Not us.

That's the name of the song.

And I'm Steve LaBeau

trapped inside your radio.

The guy who really cares about you.

I mean, who else would sit

in this little box every day

just to play music for you?

Well, it's time to reach into

the old mailbag here. Got a letter from...

Beam me up, Scotty.

Okay, girls. Hold it right there.

- You, the blonde, get into the light.

- Wait.

Why don't you just let my sister go.

And maybe you and I

can work something out.

- I'm not going anywhere!

- Shut up!

You got the wrong idea.

You, into the light.

I'll give you to five. One, two... No?

All right. Let's try it this way.

Five, four, three...

Okay, okay.

Do you get a lot of dates this way?

Open your eyes.

Okay.

Hey, I know what you're thinking, but...

- That you're a cretin?

Sweetheart, you haven't seen those

freaked-out zombies running around here?

Yeah, I was jumped by one.

Well, you got off lucky.

Me and this girl pulled into town

this morning.

You don't work here?

No. I drive a truck.

I was heading to San Diego

with this girl I picked up.

We were looking for a gas station.

That's when we spotted one of those...

Whatever they are.

Looked like it was eating...

Looked like it was eating a cat.

A dead cat?

Semi-dead.

Who'd want to eat a live cat?

Beats the sh*t out of me.

This girl freaked out.

Took off running.

I spotted her about 20 minutes later.

- Looked like one of those things had...

- What?

Torn her apart.

Oh, God.

- Larry.

- Oh, sh*t.

What's with her?

I think she's going to be

sick or something.

A guy she knew...

Same thing might have happened.

- Is it safe around here, do you think?

- Yeah.

I checked it out.

Swell.

Are you all right?

My name's Hector.

- What's yours?

- Just leave me alone, okay?

Look, I... I know we got off

on the wrong foot,

but considering what the alternative is,

I think we should try to get along.

What do you say?

Listen, this is no time

for an attitude problem.

Your little sister seems to be taking this

a lot better than you.

That's 'cause she doesn't know

what's going on.

And you do, I suppose.

Whatever is going on isn't just here.

It's everywhere.

She thinks we're gonna be rescued,

that our dad's gonna come back

from Honduras

with the goddamn Green Berets.

She could be right.

Give us a break, Hector.

Where did you spend the night last night?

I spent the night in the back of my truck

with the girl I picked up.

- What else do you want to know?

- Skip it.

Steel's gotta be the answer.

If Sam spent the night

in the Lawn storage shed...

What?

...again, I'm an employee. I can't.

Just our way of saying

Merry Christmas to you from all of...

Testing, one, two, three, four.

This is Samantha Belmont,

one-third owner of

the Greater Los Angeles Basin, speaking.

You guys?

Hey, is anybody there?

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