Night of the Comet Page #4

you've downed this morning.

Thirsty.

Yeah, well, what're you gonna do

when your complexion freaks out?

Dermatologist is dead, you know.

I know and I'm getting a rash

or something, too.

Oh, God. You and your rashes.

Hey, I'm sorry if the end of the world

makes me a little nervous.

So, do you like him?

- Come on, Sam.

- I'm just interested.

Yeah, well, I guess so.

I mean, he's nice.

There was this new guy at school.

Paul Morgan.

He transferred from Taft. Junior.

Oh, I don't hang around

with juniors much.

I liked him.

I mean, he was from Taft,

but, he was nice.

Kathy said he was probably

gonna ask me out.

Huh, Kathy.

She was flunking algebra

and she was trying to figure out some way

to keep her parents from finding out.

This is really a lucky break for her.

No wonder I'm breaking out.

Think we could go home and change?

- Why don't we get a little creative?

- What?

- Do you have your a,

do you have your MasterCard on you?

- No.

Good, 'cause you don't need it.

The stores are open!

Hey, Reg, which do you like better?

This?

Second one. Yeah. Definitely.

- How come?

- 'Cause it'll stay in style longer.

- Come on.

- I guess you're right, actually.

Yeah, we got to think

of these things, you know?

Well, let's do it.

- You know, I've been thinking.

- Don't set any dangerous precedents.

What if Hector's got

the same problem we have?

- Such as?

- Such as, no guys.

- What?

- Really.

I mean, what if Hector's gay?

- I'm sure.

- Think it over.

You said he didn't

come on to you last night.

So?

So that means that the last guy on earth

is either a gentleman or a fag.

I mean, what are the odds? In LA?

Things could be very interesting

around here, Regina.

Attention, shoppers.

I trust you've got credit cards

to pay for all that stuff.

What's the matter?

Lost something?

Check with lost and found

on the second floor.

Didn't find this one.

You dirty rat.

Get her, boys!

Woa!

Bummer!

Well, I think it's time

to take the high ground.

Listen, you guys, we're expecting

some friends here any minute.

Look, you just split now, okay,

and we'll Tell them not to hurt you.

No imagination.

Look, over there.

Hey!

- Hey!

- Eat glass, creeps!

How did you like that?

You guys are a bunch of wimps!

You can't hit anything.

Hi.

Get her.

Knock that sh*t off!

Hello out there in Television Land.

All right. Here's the deal.

If bachelorette number one

isn't out here in half a tick,

I'm going to ice bachelorette number two.

Got it?

Come on.

Let her go.

I'm sorry, miss, I can't have you

holding one of my people hostage.

Even if you pull the trigger,

I can still take him out. And you.

Come on, Willy, she means it.

Miss, you're not getting the point.

I can't have you holding

one of my people hostage.

You're crazy!

I'm not crazy.

I just don't give a f***.

- What do you think, 20, 30 minutes?

- No more.

They could be anywhere by now.

Let's go back.

- Let's apply a little deductive reasoning.

- Deductive reasoning?

Where would adolescents

with nothing to do go?

See, we worked really hard to

get ahead in this business, girls.

And we don't get sh*t for it!

But we do it...

because we know we can work

our way up through the system.

And the system works

Why, just a few days ago,

we were only stock boys.

Now we own the store.

The American way.

And then this happens.

What are you talking about?

I'm talking about you

coming in here and ripping us off.

What do you want?

You want us to pay for it? What?

You wouldn't believe

what we want from you.

In your worst nightmare,

you wouldn't believe.

Let's play a game.

It's called Scary Noises.

This is the closest shopping arcade,

but the whole area

is an absolute monument

to consumerism.

All we can do is hope.

Check all the fiords,

including the basement.

Isn't that a scary noise?

Wanna hear it again?

Gosh! The suspense is killing me.

Let's do it again.

An E-ticket attraction.

Let's do it again.

Now wait a minute.

I don't think

there's really a bullet in here.

No. Now, see there, it's loaded.

I just needed

to be a little more patient.

I think this is it, girls.

I really do.

We're not with these guys.

Really, like, we just met them

an hour ago.

I mean, look at this stuff.

Look at this skirt.

It's ironic. Of all the great minds

of the world, all the great intellects,

- Who should survive? Or almost survive?

- Im so thirsty

I don't have to see the result

of the blood test.

I can guess

what they say about that one.

You're right.

It would be senseless to take her back.

Look, I'll stay and take care of it.

Then if this Hector person shows up,

I can run tests on him, too.

Of course, it would be out of the question

to let you remain by yourself.

I'll stay here with you.

Listen, thanks for suggesting

that I wait for Hector.

I mean, I know Reggie'll probably get him,

but I'd like to have a shot at it.

Samantha, I need you to lie down.

Hector's not exactly a fox,

but considering what's left,

he's not bad.

- He sounds cute. Is he coming back?

- Yeah.

But we should wait for him

at the radio station.

That's where he'll go.

What's that?

- I'm going to give you something.

- For what?

Well, your skin's

been a little irritated.

Yeah, a rash.

It could be a rash,

but it could also be something else.

- That's one of the main symptoms of...

- The comet? No.

See, I always get rashes,

like, when I have a fight with Doris,

or I break up with a boyfriend.

It's nerves.

And you know, the way things have

been going around here lately,

I'm surprised I don't

look like strawberry Jell-O.

But if I do have that stuff,

this will get rid of it, right?

- Yeah.

- God, you had me worried.

Don't worry. Just a pinch now.

Ow!

So, you guys are, like, geniuses, right?

Yeah, I thought so.

We have a couple of

geniuses at my school.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

Is...

Is that it?

What did you want me to do, Oscar,

take her out back

and shoot her in the head?

I simply meant

I was glad it was painless.

I don't think we have to stay around.

She didn't think that he was coming back.

I feel we can wait.

But...

I feel the radio station

is the more logical place.

Listen, Oscar, you were right

about the condition being progressive.

But it is also accelerating,

apparently.

We don't have weeks.

We have maybe hours.

I don't know.

- We have a commitment.

- But I do know I don't have enough

to debate the issue. I am not going to be

a party to taking anybody else back.

You have to live up to it.

What do you expect me to do, Oscar,

go for my gun?

Of course not.

It's 450 FM in the p.m.

I'm Steve LaBeau,

and you're listening to 50,000 watts

of rock 'n'roll at the tower of power

over the City of Angels.

Reggie! Merry Christmas.

Reggie?

Samantha?

Hi.

Hi.

Did you happen to see two girls

running around here?

One is a cheerleader.

I'm not thinking straight.

I wrote everything down,

but I think I misspelled it.

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