Night on Earth Page #4

you won't have to hear my f***in' mouth.

So why don't you shut the f*** up, and then I won't

have to be talkin' all the time, you stupid idiot.

- Right.

- Oh, f*** you.

Angela, f*** you too.

You know what you like?

You're like a f***in' Chihuahua,

always gnawing at my f***in' ankles.

Yeah? Well, I'm gonna take a big f***in'

bite out of your f***in' ass then...

so you better watch

out for this little dog.

- Sh*t.

- Damn.

F*** you. F*** you. F***.

- Nice family. Nice family.

- 'Cause he's an a**hole. That's why.

- Yeah. Right.

- Huh?

A**hole. He's an a**hole.

A**hole.

Check it out, Helmet. This is Brooklyn.

What you think, man?

Uh, it's great.

It's a dump.

Don't be sayin' sh*t like that,

Angela. It's our neighborhood.

Like I give a sh*t?

It's "Brookland."

You see, Helmet? This is where we live.

- Thanks for nothin', a**hole.

- Don't be hittin' on me, Angela.

- Oh, shut up.

- No, you shut up.

Good-bye to you, Angela.

Good-bye to you

too, Helmet-head.

Good-bye.

- Hey, Yo Yo.

- What?

F*** you!

- Take this.

- Oh, yes.

Hey. You should count that sh*t.

You should always count that sh*t.

Ja.

You see?

Ja.

It's a little less.

The meter say 13. I only gave you 12.

Yes.

It's New York, Helmet.

Money is -Ja. Money...

is not important for me.

I am a clown. I

- I need it.

It's not important... for me.

Yeah. Yeah.

So, you know how to get

back to Manhattan, Helmet?

Uh, we -

- No. No.

- Sh*t.

All right. You're gonna make the opposite

of every direction we made to get here.

So if - if we made a right, then this

time you're gonna make a left.

And if we made a left,

you're gonna make a right.

- Right?

- Ah, yeah. Two rights.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

Helmet, look.

You go down there,

you make a right, then-

When you get to that wide street -

you know, that - that - that big one?

- Yeah.

- You're just gonna stop and ask somebody.

Okay. Okay, Mr. Lampshade.

No, no, no, man. No.

No, man. You be Mr. Lampshade.

- I be Mr. Lampshade?

- Yeah!

Okay. I be Mr. Lampshade.

Yeah.

Later for you, Helmet.

"D" is to drive.

Yeah. Yeah. You got it. Yeah.

"D." "D." "D" is to drive!

Learn some English, Helmet!

Right.

Right! Helmet, go right!

There's a nice family.

Left... or right?

Uh, two rights. Two -

No.

Huh?

Straight.

Here.

Ja, ja, ja.

New York.

New York.

- In the bag.

- In the bag.

You're quite a guy!

So am I.

We sure impressed that ambassador.

Ah!

He's been taken in.

More champagne! That's what we need.

The way we suckered him...

What are you doing?

What's the matter with you?

We told you to drive carefully.

We're important people.

Hell yes! Extremely important people.

If you only knew what's in this case.

Don't you tell him.

The Cameroon ambassador wants

to see us in the morning.

In one piece.

And you drive like a lizard,

first left, then right.

You think you're in your jungle here?

We're not from the

same jungle, are we? No.

Drive carefully.

These little brothers who come to

France, don't they have any respect?

Did you even hear him say hello?

Little brother, where do you

come from that you're so rude?

You from Togo?

From Gabon?

You can't be from Cameroon. From Dakar?

Wait, I'll have a closer look.

If his looks don't kill you.

With that face he might.

I'll tell you.

With a face like that,

he must be a representative

of King Beyanzed.

You're killing me.

It's true!

That's a Beninese's face!

That's it. Benin.

Little brother,

are you from Benin?

The Ivory Coast.

Ivory Coast.

He's an 'Ivoirien'.

"Can't see a thing!"

That explains it!

He's an "Y voit rien. "

You've run four red lights,

you can't see a thing, and you drive

at night without your glasses on.

Don't leave your glasses at

home! Keep your eyes on the road.

Look! The road is over there!

Who gives these people

cars? An 'Ivoirien'!

What do you mean, "that explains it"?

Ah?

I work from 8:
00 p.m. to 8:00 a.m.,

so don't f*** with me in my own taxi.

And I don't give a sh*t

about your ambassador, okay?

Can't we have some fun?

We've had champagne, we're very happy...

No, you don't have fun in

my taxi. I work in this taxi.

It's my place of business,

not your f***ing playground!

Okay, get out.

What do you mean?

Just get out of my taxi.

Little brother, I only said...

Forget it. Just get out.

Out of my taxi!

But it's 4:
00 in the morning.

Little brother, what's wrong with you?

Look where you're leaving us!

Can you believe this guy?

Does he expect us to find a taxi here?

What a f***ed-up day.

Rutain.

Big brothers, my ass...

Sh*t, they didn't even pay!

I can't believe this sh*t.

I'll kick your ass.

Here's one that won't give me any sh*t.

Nice driving, a**hole.

You almost flattened me.

What are we waiting for?

Quai de l'Oise, near

Porte de la Villette.

It's near the canal.

At the next intersection

just follow Canal St.

Martin up to Stalingrad Place

then along Quai de la Seine.

Look, I know my job. Don't

tell me how to do my job.

IF YOU HAVE A PREFERRED ROUTE,

INDICATE THIS TO THE DRIVER

Doesn't this sign say

to follow my directions?

Did you change something?

What, me? Nothing!

Pardon.

Don't they teach you how to

drive before unleashing you?

What are we doing in this tunnel?

Why'd you take the f***ing tunnel?

I didn't tell you to go this way!

I hate the tunnel.

Hold still. I got it.

Merci.

Hey, don't blind people

usually wear dark glasses?

Do they? I wouldn't know.

I've never seen a blind person.

You've always been blind?

Yeah.

Must be a real drag being blind, huh?

Listen, jerk-off. I

can do anything you can

and a lot of things you'll never do.

I'm blind, that's all.

You can't drive a car, for example.

And you can?

I didn't mean to make you mad.

I don't know any blind people.

I'm curious, that's all.

I'm just like you. I drink,

I eat, I taste things.

I listen to music. I feel music.

I do whatever I want.

I even go to the movies.

The movies?

And what do you see at the movies?

Sometimes I feel the film.

I can hear it.

Oh, forget it. You're a pain in the ass.

Yeah, but when you eat,

you can't see the food.

The carrots could be blue, for example.

And with music, you

can't see the musicians!

You don't even know

the shape of a guitar.

Yes I know the shape

of a f***ing guitar.

I feel things I'm sure you never will.

Okay then, if you're so smart,

let me ask you a question.

Here's the question.

What color am I?

I don't give a f*** about colors.

But people have

different colors of skin!

Look, I don't care if you're

green or... blue like a carrot.

For me the word color

doesn't mean anything.

I feel colors.

But you'd never understand that.

Okay. You hear my voice, my accent.

Tell me where I'm from.

And if I'm right I win

a color TV, is that it?

I don't know, Africa.

From Cameroon.

No, the Ivory Coast.

Not bad!

You're exactly right! Treichville.

Can I ask you something personal?

What now?

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