Night Shift Page #3

I really hope they find

someone trustworthy.

Are you crazy?

Those guys are killers.

They're animals.

They dress nice, though.

Wait a minute.

Hold the phone, Chuck.

We got all that space

down at the morgue.

All those cars. All that time at night.

Nobody watching us.

We could handle things

for your neighbor...

...and her friends,

right out of the morgue!

Pimps?

Are you saying we should become pimps?

Pimps is an ugly word.

We'll call us Love Brokers.

This is my stop.

You think about it.

I really think this is the one.

I am excited about this. I mean it.

This is it, I think.

Love Brokers.

Love Brokers!

You and me, buddy!

You're over the rainbow, pal.

Love Brokers.

Last week when you helped me...

...I got a little rude before you left.

Oh, no, you didn't.

Well, anyway....

We come home from work

at the same time each day.

I thought maybe we might

start having breakfast together.

You got any eggs?

I practically have

a whole dairy in here.

Great!

Your place is beautiful!

And it's warm!

My place is freezing.

And you got a kitchen.

And you got eggs.

How do you like your eggs?

- Scrambled.

- Of course.

Men love scrambled.

I didn't know that.

Men love scrambled.

Does the window open?

No, I'm real sorry.

It's painted shut.

Makes sense, doesn't it?

That's where the fire escape is.

Is there a vent or a fan or anything?

Sorry, that room catches

all the heat in the morning.

It's okay.

Well, you know...

...it's worse in the summer.

My God!

I'll put my robe back on.

No, no, don't!

What I mean is...

...that you should be comfortable.

I am.

I'll get that.

It's probably for me.

Why'd you call?

What's the matter?

You ate what?

That's okay.

Just don't do it again.

What do you mean, what am I doing?

I'm not doing anything.

Of course I sound strange

if you call me...

...and you say what am I doing,

and I'm not doing anything!

Oh, my God.

I just stepped on a tack.

I love you too.

Eggs coming right up.

I was thinking about

the last time that we were together.

And I was wondering...

...have you been able to find a....

A pimp?

I have to, though.

This way's too dangerous.

Lupe, she's my friend.

She got her arm broke last week.

What a sick world!

Yeah. Thank God.

We could do this every morning.

At least until

you get tired of eggs.

Boy, it is hot in here.

You got any bread?

I must have left my money at home.

It's in my other pants, I think.

There you go.

$4.90 out of $5?

Keep the dime.

That's all right.

I'll take these.

They gave me the wrong bread.

- I asked for wheat, I got white.

- Send it back.

- You gave him white bread.

- Don't make a fuss.

My mother said, you send it back,

the chef spits on it.

Turkeys!

Come and get your turkeys.

Immoral?

What do you mean, immoral?

As a matter of fact,

prostitution is probably...

...one of the most

moral things in the world.

How'd you figure that out?

Simple. You take a guy.

He's in from out of town.

Let's say that guy.

He's in from out of town.

He's here on business.

He's away from his wife

and 2.3 children.

He's got urges. Let's say he

goes in to see this picture.

Which, by the way,

is not a bad movie.

Anyway, let's say this picture...

...stimulates his....

Urges.

Good word.

Now he's out on the

street again, right?

He is a loaded pistol!

He's like Mount St. Helens.

Who walks by...

...but a Girl Scout

swinging her cookies?

Girl Scouts of America.

He goes bananas.

He's on her like mud on a pig.

That wouldn't have happened if

he'd gone to a hooker, right?

So you call that moral?

He goes and jumps on a Girl Scout...

...and breaks her cookies

and you call that moral?

You figured that all out

just by yourself?

- I have that kind of mind.

- Yes, you do.

So let's do it!

Okay, now?

Yeah, nice.

But isn't this a little high, Angelo?

That's the way I always do it.

You like it that way.

I do?

All right, I do.

How you doing?

You getting a haircut?

No, I just like wearing sheets.

Look at this. Did I tell you?

"Girl Scout Attacked!"

In the paper.

Could I see that again?

Right there.

"Girl Scout Attacked!"

"Girl Scout Attacked By Dog."

Dog. Guy from out of town.

What's the difference?

There's a difference.

One carries an attach case.

The other urinates on a tree.

What are you doing? What is this?

A haircut? You call that--

Even these sideburns out!

The man has a razor in his hand.

Let us not get him angry.

One sideburn's up here.

The other's in Fort Lauderdale.

He is a seasoned professional.

Do you want Belinda

working for one of those animals?

You want her to be

Miss Heroin 1982?

Charlotte's parents are

coming in for Thanksgiving.

I really need to get this haircut.

That's it, get the haircut!

Get all your hair cut.

You only think about yourself.

You don't care what happens to me!

Or what happens to Belinda!

You don't care about what happens to

the Girl Scouts of America!

I'm fed up, man!

I'm fed up with you!

I wash my hands

and my feet of you!

Trim that!

Mr. and Mrs. Koogle,

would you like a drink?

Mrs. Koogle and I do not drink.

Of course.

So how do you like

our fair city?

We don't.

Perhaps if you drank you would.

Mom, is dinner almost ready?

Turkey's almost dead.

Hi! Happy Thanksgiving.

- Arrested?

- I'm really sorry.

I called the landlady

and she wasn't home.

They're taking me to night court.

My ID and money are in my apartment.

This is not a good evening.

My entire family

is here for Thanksgiving.

Please!

Franklin used to take

care of all these things.

I don't know what they're

going to do to me.

Don't cry.

I'll be there as soon as

I can get there.

Thanks.

Thanks a lot.

Have you seen the lights on at night?

No wonder this city's going broke!

I have to go out and I'll be back

in a minute, okay?

What? Where are you going?

You didn't have to come with me.

I would've been home in 10 minutes.

We paid for the rental car,

might as well use it.

You want to excuse me, sonny?

I want to know why she called you.

She's my neighbor.

Excuse me.

The district attorney has

no objections...

...so if you like,

I think we can proceed.

Next case.

That's his neighbor.

Belinda Keaton, you're charged

with prostitution and assault.

Not guilty, your honor.

- Not guilty?

- Not guilty!

Not guilty!

Your honor, this woman is a menace!

You are one Howard Pelekoudas?

Yes, sir.

I'm the victim.

You're an a**hole!

Be that as it may...

...can we proceed?

Mr. Pelekoudas and I

had just completed...

...a business transaction.

At which point, Mr.Pelekoudas

attempted to forcibly exact a refund...

...when services had

already been rendered.

He tried to grab

his money back?

Yes! That's when she assaulted me.

You look unmarked...

...undamaged to me in any manner.

Oh, yeah?

Feast your eyes on this!

Exhibit "A"!

She bit me!

What about my feelings?

You want to know what

really steams my bean?

They let that strumpet

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