Night Train

Wait!

Wait!

Wait!

Not a good night

to miss a train, friend.

You have your ticket?

Hey, your ticket.

You speak English?

English?

Okay, pay me later.

We gotta move out.

Bad storm up ahead.

It's only gonna get worse. Okay?

All right, Walter.

Get us out of here.

All righty, boy.

Shoo off! Shoo off!

Hi. Merry Christmas.

Kalashnikov Vodka from Moscow.

The same people

who make the guns.

Do me a favor.

Here. Go ahead. Take it.

Whatever blows

your hair back, man.

Who's winning now?

Ah.

Hey.

Rather be somewhere warm?

Uh... Yeah.

How much do I owe you

for the ticket?

You already paid for it

two hours ago.

Didn't say where you were going,

so I just charged you the full fare.

Yeah, just a little too much

eggnog at the office party.

Yeah.

All right, sir.

Time to take care of that ticket.

Rise and shine, buddy.

No free naps on my train.

Goddamn!

Hear what I said?

A stroke, maybe.

What?

You mean he's dead?

Yeah, heart attack's possible.

Maybe from all that running

in the cold.

Hey, you know what?

He swallowed a bunch of pills

when he first sat down.

He threw them back like peanuts

and then washed it down

with a slug of vodka.

Yeah, he took a few pops

before he boarded the train.

- Do you think it was cyanide?

- Seconal.

Cyanide would have killed him

right away.

Seconal... reds.

If you take too much,

it will stop your blood flow

and cut off

the oxygen supply to the brain.

You think you're going to sleep

and then you never wake up.

Alcohol speeds up the process.

Wait a minute. How was I supposed

to know what he was taking?

I wouldn't have offered him

a drop if I had known.

- Don't touch anything.

- Where you going?

I'm gonna radio ahead

to the next station.

Unless you want to ride

with him 'til morning.

Merry Christmas.

Oh, God! Hey!

- He's still alive!

- It's just a reflex.

Reflex, my ass. He jumped

like he was struck by lightning.

He's dead.

Hey, isn't it bad luck

if a dead man looks you in the eyes?

You know, I read that once where...

It means that Death

has seen you, and...

...maybe it will track you

or something.

I don't know where I saw that.

This is a funny-looking thing.

Put it back. It's not yours.

Hey!

You hear what I said?

Yeah.

Look, there's a corpse right next to us,

and you go back to reading?

What are you doing?

The conductor told you

to leave it alone.

What is it?

What do you see?

Harry!

This is Miles on the Nightingale.

Yeah, we're headed up

to Maple Creek, and I need to...

Hang up!

Just come back to the rear car!

You'd better get back to your seat

before I put my foot up your butt!

Trust me!

Go ahead. See for yourself.

Miss?

Miss?

- I thought I told you two to...

- Will you just look inside?

Real?

Yeah.

See how the light reflects?

No imitations can do that.

Had an uncle once who taught me

how to tell the difference

between reals and fakes.

And if he were here right now,

he would say that they were realer

than a nun's tits.

How much do you think they are?

- Oh, I'd say at least five.

- Thousand?

What?

- Million.

- Million?

Yeah.

Depending on the latest

pricing tables.

Yeah, I already tried that.

They're locked in place.

Hey! Do you got

a hammer or something?

That might work!

Wait a minute.

What are you doing?

I still got a dead man to report.

Wait a minute! Maybe we should

think about this first

before we do something

we'll regret later, all right?

I mean, I'm not talking

about stealing it. I'm just...

All right, maybe we could keep half,

and then give

the other half to charity?

Huh?

How about the Boys and Girls Club?

That's a good group. Huh?

Look...

Look, this is a lot of money

in front of us right now!

That doesn't mean

anything to you? Huh? Miles?

Chances are someone else

knows he's carrying it.

What happens

when they come looking for it?

We'll be long gone by then.

I won't. You and her

get off this train. I don't.

So quit, quit your job.

Retire. Huh?

You got a wife? Hmm?

Well, maybe she'd like to live in

a warmer climate for a change, huh?

I can take care of my wife

without your help. Or a dead man's.

What if no one knows he's dead?

What did you just say, Miss?

If the body isn't reported,

no one will know he's dead.

He didn't buy a ticket.

That's why you came back here

in the first place.

No one will know

he was ever on this train.

But he's on this train.

My train.

What am I supposed to do,

let him rot to New Year's?

One second.

So we left Fall Brook, and we're

headed toward Maple Creek, correct?

How much time 'til we get there?

You know that down to the second?

I know everything about this train

except its favorite color.

- And this is a river.

- It's the Sturgeon River.

Well, how much time

until we cross that?

We cross that in 19 minutes.

Is it wide enough that it

doesn't freeze over in winter?

I suppose.

Strong rapids?

I guess so. Why?

That's where we can dump the body.

I mean, with the rapids, there won't

be any connection to the train.

'Cause it's winter, it'll

probably get stuck under the ice

and found sometime in spring,

all decomposed down to the bone.

Miles. I don't know,

maybe she's onto something here.

Yeah, a prison sentence.

One I'm not serving.

You won't be connected.

You're just the conductor.

You've just been doing your job.

And he was

passed out drunk the entire time.

He doesn't know anything.

I was, and I usually am.

Which is... it's true.

I'm getting off at the next stop.

So, it's as if we're strangers

and we've never met.

Yeah, and it's staying that way.

Miles! Don't...

Follow me, and it's your ass

that's gonna be dumped, not him!

and I can't convince

a working-stiff conductor

to keep a fortune

for his retirement.

Oh, did I mention I suck at my job?

Maybe you should try

convincing him again.

Yeah. Well.

He's made the call by now.

How can you be so sure

what he's doing up there?

Well, what the hell else

would he be doing?

What?

You think he lied?

Huh?

And he's keeping it all for himself?

Stay here!

The only way to get in and out

is with my key.

I'll grab a wheelchair we use

for handicapped passengers.

Right, now we're talking.

We should put him

into something, though,

so that nobody sees him

floating down the river.

We've got suitcases and a trunk

in the baggage car.

Is the baggage car far from here?

At the other end of the train.

Well, we just need

to wheel him over there

without anybody

on the train noticing.

I'll lead the way,

clear a path for you two.

How are you gonna do that?

Diversion, charm.

I'm a salesman, aren't I?

It's a good game.

Too close to the edge.

If you can't attack him effectively,

leaves you weak in

your defenses. Okay?

Don't worry, I'm gonna

help you out, too.

Are you all...

...covered with traveler's insurance

on your stay here?

Well, my company, we specialize

in covering tourists such as yourself.

Here, check it out.

Travel delays...

Oh, oh, oh.

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