Nitro Circus: The Movie Page #5

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roll onto second gear just nice and easy. "

As soon as he got goin', I was like...

He had the pop.

He got more pop than most people.

Well yeah, he had a lot of weight goin' up.

Everything compressed and went... Whoo!

It's like Kung Fu Panda, seriously.

That was awesome, Tommy, I'm proud of you.

- Our job is cool.

- Right? Thank you!

And you go home today with that glow

instead of goin' home and not tryin'.

I'm not saying... Here's the thing.

Yes, it is better than drywall.

But let me tell you somethin'.

My job's good.

Your job is good, and you're good at it.

It's not just better than drywall.

I mean my job's good.

Yeah. I love it, Tommy.

I love when you're this happy.

Look at the moment.

Look at the glorious moment right now.

- I'm gettin' a little glazed over.

- Yeah.

- I'm not gonna lie. That was stressful.

- You're gonna cry now.

Look at the big teddy bear. I love you, buddy.

- I don't like water.

- I understand. Or heights, or speed, or...

It all scares me.

- Good job, bud.

- Yeah.

- Let's go get that Kobe steak.

- Yeah, let's do that.

- And the girls.

- It hurts so good.

Oh, my God!

Oh, boy!

- God has a mighty fist.

- Yeah.

- Wow, now this.

Always properly lube.

Oh, God! Don't do that.

Don't do that. It's so tender.

Streetbike Tommy. Legit. That dude is legit.

Everybody knows when

he launched the bike over the foam pit...

Sh*t!

No concussion? You feelin' everything?

Just willing to do anything not to work.

Like, I don't wanna have a job.

I just wanna keep the party going for life.

He knows he's gonna get hurt,

whatever he gets on, you know.

It's, like, gravity is not kind to Tommy.

You're like, "Dude,

what else can this guy do?"

You know...

Why is it when I show up at the set,

and my name is on the roster,

when I stroll up, you guys

got somethin' just completely out of hand,

and you think just 'cause

you slap a couple funny stickers on it

that I'm gonna be all pumped.

What happened to the phone call last night

where I was like,

"Tommy, do you wanna jump a boat?"

And you're like,

"Hell yeah, I wanna jump a boat!"

- That wasn't me.

- It was you, I have a text as well.

That was some other fat guy using my phone.

Tommy, you're always talking about,

"As long as it's got horsepower in the stunt,

you're good. "

Well, that's before I needed to

talk to the FAA for a boat-aeroplane licence.

Captain Awesome,

let's turn up the heat and make this thing go!

This is your moment to shine.

Let's do this.

Glad you're so psyched on it, Tommy.

Let's go!

Put this thing in the water.

It is so windy.

It's, like, the worst conditions imaginable.

We got whitecaps breaking over here.

Tom P. Is getting in,

I've never seen him so nervous.

He's not talked at all today.

We have a jump...

Everyone, in my opinion,

might be a little too close,

but he is comin' and I gotta go watch this.

That is so rough!

Get him! Get him! Get him!

Get him! Get him! Get him!

- Let's check your beard.

- My beard good?

- It's a little singed.

Safe, it's safe. No, it's safe.

Dude, there's no singes, bro, came out clean.

Then we're good.

This is the ramp setup for Vegas,

so test it out, see if it works.

That looked painful.

- How's your head, Special?

- How's your legs?

We are here today to play Nitro Golf.

This is a hole-in-one contest.

He with the most flair, flying through the air,

and getting a hole-in-one, wins.

- Hands in.

- I didn't agree to this.

One, two, three, Nitro!

Nitro Golf, round one!

Fore!

Okay, not so bad on the first round there.

That's a mulligan. I'm goin' again.

- Dusty's gonna get this.

- I'm scared right now.

Get in there!

- That's a hole in one!

- Hole in one!

Dude, this is so much fun.

Your turn, Special. It's possible.

Now give us some flair.

As bad as that went, it went really well.

- Do we not have to do that any more?

- That was awesome!

I couldn't figure out

how to get the bike straight and...

All I'm sayin' is I think

he got the long ball contest on that one.

More push, more push, more push!

- He's out.

- Really?

I didn't have enough club, you bastard!

I needed more club! Where's my caddy?

Super nervous, just so you know.

This could be really good or really bad.

One more time.

Yeah! I'm in!

I'm in the ball! I'm in the ball!

Yeah, I'm in the ball!

Nitro Golf rules!

The winner of the first inaugural Nitro Golf,

Special Greg!

All right, so a few years back, I rolled

seven and three-quarters time, in a rally race.

Travis' crash that he had

in Colorado years ago

was one of the biggest crashes

actually caught on film the world around.

- Are you alive?

I'm fine. How are you?

Holy sh*t! That was a hell of a ride!

Whoo!

Today, Gregg Godfrey

is gonna take a crappy Mustang,

driving as fast as it'll go,

hitting this ramp, and seeing

how many times he can roll the car.

I can't wait to watch.

For Gregg to take that on, like,

"Hey, I'm gonna go take what you did,

and just try and beat you,"

is actually a really funny concept.

I give him a lot of credit for the balls that

it takes to actually go out and try and do that.

What do you think his odds are

of beating your record?

I see this possibly goin' good.

And by good, I mean horribly bad.

I'd hit the ramp at 110.

- I would...

- Faster's better.

- Faster's better.

- Faster's better.

More speed.

You can't go wrong with more speed.

- No you can't.

- Who said that? What rule is that?

- It's written. Look it up.

- Yeah.

It's in the rule of speed?

- Yeah, look it up.

- It's in the dictionary.

So right now, what we're doin'

is we're sittin' on the set

waiting for Gregg Godfrey to have his balls

drop somewhere from his throat

to at least the mid part of his stomach

to turn into ovaries.

And then, eventually balls.

So he can actually hit this jump

to try to beat my record,

where I didn't even intentionally crash,

and he's intentionally crashing.

Here we go.

Wow, he is hauling the metal!

This is such a bad idea.

What is he thinking?

- This has suddenly gotten way cooler!

Why is he doing this?

Now I know why he's taking so long!

That's good.

You gotta be crappin' yourself, man,

but that looks good.

You're not gonna catch air,

you're gonna tumble, it's gonna be good.

I'm good. I'm gonna go out

and just pull me in and we'll go.

Gregg, you're gonna be good, you're...

This is gonna be a lot of...

This is gonna be fun, man. Enjoy it.

Yeah, this is gonna be fun.

It's gonna be for us.

I was gonna say

it's gonna be a lot of fun for us.

When I said it's gonna be fun,

that is not gonna be fun.

- What kind of a friend are you?

- He's gonna get sh*t-whipped.

It looks really fast, and it's really scary,

and I would never, ever, ever

intentionally flip at that speed.

Having said that, if he wants to win,

he's gonna have to go faster.

I'm sailing away

Set an open course for the virgin sea

- I love how scared Godfrey is.

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