No Strings Attached Page #5

Wallace, could you

take a picture of this?

Yeah, Wallace, I got a camera

right here, if you just wanna...

No problem at all.

Just get a little closer, ladies.

All right. Everybody smile.

Happy ho-lidays!

Hey, hey!

Merry Christmas. Happy holidays.

Can I get you a dri?

You want to get out of here?

Yes. Yeah.

I'll get my stuff.

Listen, don't f*** one of those girls.

They're not... they're not nice.

They're not nice girls.

What? Emma?

Is that you?

Katie!

Yeah, hi. What are you doing?

Where are you?

I'm just studying

for the doctor test.

You're coming tomorrow, right?

Hold on.

Hey, Adam.

I am following

your instructions diligently.

- Put that away!

- Who are you talking to?

Are you there?

You're not there, are you?

Taxi! Taxi!

Take me to Adam's house.

- OK, ma'am, where's that?

- Where Adam lives.

- All right...

- Just go. Go.

OK, I'm going.

Got a cocktail for the ladies.

That's my Christopher Walken.

Yeah. I'll just set these

over here and...

...then we can all sort

of involve ourselves in...

OK, let's...

Well, you guys are doing

a really good job.

I'll just be over here if you need me.

Adam!

Adam Franklin!

Adam! Franklin!

OK.

Just keep up the good work, ladies.

What are? What are you?

Hey.

Are you?

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

What's going on?

- This is Joy.

- I'm Joy. Hi.

- Good for you.

- Adam?

And this is Lisa.

You are such an overachiever.

Thank you.

No, we don't need her.

Make her leave.

No. You leave.

Are you trying to get rid of us?

You look like a pumpkin, b*tch!

- This is amazing.

- Oh, you make... Hey!

OK. I got this.

I got this. You just... calm down.

But we don't look

anything like pumpkins.

I know. She probably forgot

to take her meds.

You know, for your own safety,

you'd better get your stuff and go.

Thanks.

Watch out, though.

She could be anywhere.

She's quick. Like a puma.

You're so mean!

Ring, ring! It's the pumpkin patch!

They want their pumpkins back!

- We're not pumpkins!

- We're ladies!

But you're so orange.

Hey, someone call Charlie Brown!

We found the Great Pumpkin!

Ow! Don't! Don't!

You're crazy.

I felt like Flavor Flav.

- I can't believe you chose those girls.

- Are you jealous?

Don't do that.

Don't just disappear like that on me.

- You told me to.

- You shouldn't listen to me.

Fine, I won't.

- Did you smell my hair?

- No.

- What did you want to talk to me about?

- Wait. Just hang out here.

Right here?

Oh, man.

Surprise!

Happy birthday!

As the days of the year roll by

There's one that brings a tear

to a daddy's eye

'Cause I'm so happy

To be your pappy

Today and I'll tell you why

It's your birthday

Baby boy

- It's your birthday

- Birthday

Birthday boy

- Happy birthday, happy birthday

- Hap... py!

- Happy birthday, happy birthday

- Birth... day!

Happy birthday

To you

Everybody!

Happy birthday

To you!

Blow it out! Blow it out!

Oh, Adam, happy birthday.

- We're so proud of you.

- Make a wish.

Guys, you get a five-minute warning.

- OK?

- No, he's ten-one.

I already texted him.

- So, all is forgiven?

- No. Nothing is forgiven.

Adam, don't you think

it's been weird for me, too?

Knowing that... my own son

had sex with my girlfriend?

But I got over it.

You should, too.

Excuse me!

Can I have your autograph, please?

- Mine, too, please.

- Certainly.

Listen, let me take you

to a nice birthday dinner tonight.

You, me and Vanessa. We have

something we want to talk to you about.

- Something?

- Yeah.

- Like what?

- Just something important, OK?

- Please don't do this.

- 8:
30, STK.

All right? Be there.

Bring anyone you want, all right?

- Bye, everyone. Thank you.

- Oh, thank you so much for coming.

It's been an honor.

- Great Scott!

- Bravo! Bravo!

What the f***?

- What happened?

- Oh, my.

Are you OK?

Are you OK? What happened?

- Give me that!

- That's my phone!

F*** you, Chuck!

You're very talented, but f*** you!

Can we get a medic, please?

Try to use it as little as possible.

- No sports or working out for a while.

- Dr. Metzner?

Adam, what's going on?

What happened?

He sprained his wrist

punching a wall.

You texted me that you were dying.

It really hurt.

I gave him some hydrocodone for the

night. It's a very strong painkiller.

You might want to have

Dr. Kurtzman here drive you home.

And here is a prescription

for an anti-inflammatory.

Don't worry.

You're in good hands.

Your girlfriend here is

a very talented doctor.

No. No, I'm... I'm not his girlfriend.

She is not my girlfriend.

Oh, sorry. I saw that he listed you

as an emergency contact.

My mistake. Feel better.

Oh, by the way,

I enjoyed your dad's TV show.

Great Scott. That's funny stuff.

I'll tell him you said that.

My dad invited me to dinner,

and he's bringing Vanessa.

- You have to come.

- No, I don't.

I just worked 14 hours.

I'm not gonna meet your parents.

You know what? Just help me.

These are really powerful painkillers.

I can't feel anything.

Feel that?

Yeah. I felt that.

Happy birthday, Adam.

I'm so glad you guys

could join us for dinner.

Cheers. I'll come right back

to take your order.

So, how you doing there, kiddo?

Perfect, Dad.

Thank you for asking.

How long have you two been together?

Oh, we're not.

- We're sex friends.

- Yeah. Yes, we are.

Yeah, friends with benefits?

F*** buddies?

Great Scott!

I know this might be hard,

but just because I'm your ex-girlfriend

doesn't mean that you can't

look at me as a kind of... mum?

- Oh, boy.

- Especially because, well,

Alvin and I have been talking about

creating new life together.

You see, we were at Burning Man.

- And we were dressed up.

- Yeah. I was dressed as a fire bird.

And what were you dressed as?

I was naked. And we were just

out there in the desert,

and he was burying

my bare body in the sand.

Yeah. Pecking at it with my...

fire beak.

And then I just thought,

you know, what if all

these grains of sand,

were actually babies?

- And so we...

- We had this wonderful idea.

And we... well,

we'd like your blessing, Adam.

How do you feel about the two of us

having a baby together?

Adam.

This isn't really my place.

I mean, who am I?

I just have sex

with your son sometimes.

- But...

- Yes, she does.

But... there is really no reason

for you to bring a child

into this world,

since you're acting

like children already.

- That was really mean.

- Yeah.

I'm mean. But you're f***ing crazy.

'Cause given the choice

between Adam and his dad,

given the choice between Adam

and anyone, really,

I'd choose Adam, every time.

- Do you want to get out of here?

- Yep.

F*** this.

Oh, by the way...

...it's the best sex of my life.

Great Scott!

I have to say, this is probably

the best birthday dinner ever.

I wanted to make it special.

Yeah? Where's the cake?

That comes later, baby.

- Hey.

- What?

Thank you for what you did

back at the restaurant.

Go on a date with me.

You're heavily sedated.

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