No Strings Attached Page #8

I'm already so late.

Will you just take Freckles?

Don't take this the wrong way,

but you're a terrible person.

Just take Freckles.

Hey, Dad.

Hey, kiddo.

- I had a bad trip on The Drank.

- Yeah, I heard.

If anybody asks,

this is a Seeing Eye dog.

- Where's?

- She went home.

Right.

I really don't like the Little Wayne.

Can't understand what he's saying.

You know who I wish

was here right now?

Your mom.

Yeah. Well, you left her, so...

Why?

When you're married

and you do blow...

...try to stay away from women

who want to f*** you.

Even ugly women.

Blow is blind, Adam.

Blow is blind.

You're an a**hole.

But you're not.

You got a good heart, Adam.

Try to keep it.

Where's that girl, Emma?

You guys still together?

- We were never together.

- Oh, that's right. Friends...

Sex friends... I'm old.

I don't know what you call it.

You liked her.

She drives me crazy.

I'm 58 years old.

I've been married three times.

Twice.

OK.

I've got six pictures

of my cock on my phone,

and two of someone else's,

and I'm still pretty high

on the cough syrup,

so you can take this

with a grain of salt, but...

...we don't pick

who we fall in love with.

And it never happens like it should.

Yes.

I may have to kill this dog.

I just haven't decided how.

Get some sleep, Dad.

I'll call you in the morning.

He'll call in the morning.

Isn't that something?

Am I boring you?

Oh, good.

Adam!

Hey. You can't call me

and tell me that you miss me.

I don't want to have

that conversation on the phone.

So you can't text me

and you can't e-mail me,

and you can't... write on my wall.

Like, if you really miss me,

you need to grow up

and get in your car

and come and see me.

I'm here.

How did...

How did you know that?

Shira texted me about

your dad, so I came here.

You got...

How is your dad?

- He's OK.

- Good.

- I know I can't just call you.

- No. You can't.

I know.

I hurt you. I'm sorry.

I don't know why I wasted so much time

pretending I didn't care.

I guess I just didn't

want to feel like this.

It hurts.

But I love you. I'm totally

and completely in love with you,

and I don't care if you think it's

too late, I'm telling you anyway.

- Will you please say something?

- Wait.

You should know...

...if you come any closer,

I'm not letting you go.

- I love you.

- That's good.

You want to go with me

to this stupid thing?

Your sister's wedding thing?

How long do we have

till we have to be there?

A couple hours.

- What do you want to do?

- Something crazy.

Now I know why you never wanted

to have breakfast with me.

What?

You eat like a baby dinosaur.

You don't even chew.

Do you think you can get used to it?

Yeah, I think so.

Good. I was hoping

we could do this a lot more.

Really?

You know, I was thinking...

We're gonna have to come up

with some new rules.

I'd like to start calling you

"honey" and "babe."

- I don't know about "babe."

- No?

- Snuggling?

- Oh, yeah.

- I'm gonna hold your hand.

- Wow. This is all moving so fast.

Also, I'd like to leave

the door open when I pee.

I think no.

I think I'm gonna do it all the time.

It's gonna get weird.

- Thank God we're on time.

- Yeah.

So what happens now?

- Adam should be here any minute.

- Good, 'cause I'm starving.

So, you've told him about us.

- No, not yet.

- What?

I thought I'd wait till he got here.

- And that's a good idea?

- Yeah, it'll be fine.

So, to Burning Man?

- Was that fun, or what?

- So fun.

Dad!

Eli!

This is her! This is Patrice!

Hi, it's so nice to see you again.

- We love you already!

- Come on, family hug!

Shira, I feel like there are parts of me

that I haven't explored yet.

And I'm feeling like

I want to see other people.

Oh, I thought...

This is embarrassing.

I have been seeing other people, Sam.

- You have?

- Yeah, a lot of other people.

How many?

I don't know, man. I mean,

two that I can think of

off the top of my head, but...

- You remember when I went to Cabo?

- Yeah.

- I was a very bad girl on that trip.

- You're kidding me?

You're doing great.

Keep pushing.

Oh, God.

I've got the ice chips, honey.

Here you go.

Oh, I hate you, you dumb f***!

Get the f*** out...

- You eat the f***ing ice chips!

- I love you so much.

Come on. It's OK.

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