No Time for Love Page #3

Try and get away from me. If you

don't let me go, I'll scream for help.

Now you've got something to scream about.

Oh, you coward. Kissing a woman.

What am I supposed to kiss?

Well, I feel better now. I've

got my long pants on again.

Wait a minute. What are you insinuating now?

Why didn't you scream?

I'm no child.

I see you're not, but I

don't think you know it.

No, I might get interested. So long.

Superman!

Mr. Ryan, of all the conceited...

Look, everybody. See what I found.

Isn't he gorgeous? Superman.

Mr. Ryan, these are friends of mine.

This is Mr. Ryan, the sandhog

you saw in the pictures.

He just came to return a tripod.

In the bedroom?

Well, couldn't he return

it in the living room?

Miss McDonnell, Mr. Ryan. Hello.

And my sister, Miss Grant. How do you do?

Mr. Fulton, the publisher of Mirror Magazine.

How're you? Mr. Dunbar, the playwright.

How do you do? Hello.

Mr. Kent, the... And Mr.

Roger Winant, the composer.

Kate was telling us how

you destroyed Local 908

...of your union today. Only three.

Don't be bashful, man, we know

there must have been a dozen.

I said there was three.

"Were" three, chum.

Thanks, dollface.

But you haven't a mark.

Did you blow them down?

Oh, leave him alone.

My dear, do you think we

could harm this Viking?

Perhaps Mr. Ryan would like

to enlarge on the gory details.

Great idea. Act it out, will you?

I'll give you some background music.

That's enough. It's okay, babe.

Well, if you really want to

hear it... We're breathless.

May sound sort of bragging. Oh, naturally.

Well, as I said, there were three

of them. Weren't you frightened?

No, I always remember something

my father told me years ago.

He said, "If it's Saturday night

and a horse steps on your head...

"get out of the gutter

because you're drunk. " Get it?

Frankly, no.

So, the three of them come charging in.

Clancy leads with his stomach, like yours.

So I hook him, like that, only harder.

Then I grabbed the other two guys.

And banged their heads together, like that.

After that we all had a beer and went home.

What does it say in the

book about head bandages?

So long. So long, kid. Thanks for the laughs.

Darling, I think you owe me an explanation.

About what?

About what happened in the other room.

I haven't the slightest idea.

Oh, don't say that.

Which of the new plays interested you?

I see. No, I missed Abie's Irish Rose.

Have you read any good books lately?

Books?

B-O-O-K-S.

Well, of course, if you

have no mind to read...

...or even if you're of no mind...

Pardon me, your spoon,

it's in your coffee cup...

...and it's likely to be in your eye.

So, at last, he's driven you crazy.

Oh, hello.

Dreams again last night?

Mmm-hmm.

Those liver pills didn't help, eh?

Well, as the brainy half

of this sister act...

...it's up to me to pull

you through the crisis.

But how the devil do you fight dreams?

Hoppy, I think I have the answer.

Honestly? Mmm-hmm.

I've analyzed the situation

coldly and without prejudice.

What is upsetting me to the point.

where I can no longer

call my emotions my own?

Not the man himself, but dreams about him.

Therefore, I've decided to

have such dreams when I'm awake.

...and have some control over my mind.

You've been talking that way

since you were six years old.

It must have been something Mother ate.

You interrupted one of my conscious dreams.

Mr. Ryan's having breakfast with me.

I see. It was something Mother ate.

You will note that Ryan is completely

without the glamour he assumes at night.

He's simply a muddy man

who works in a tunnel.

His shoes are dirty, his napkin

is tucked under his chin...

...he goes blank when I

mention books and plays...

...and he's utterly incapable of

contributing to an intelligent conversation.

Pardon? Toothpicks? No, I'm sorry.

No. You have a cavity? Yes, I see.

Certainly you may use your fork.

Oh, hello, Hilda. Just

pretend you're not here.

Doesn't he pick his teeth gracefully? Duck!

Aren't you glad I warned you? The

man's utterly without breeding.

If he did what I think he did,

I ought to kick his ears off.

Hoppy, isn't it marvelous?

He's becoming revolting.

Great! Only how do you know

that's the way he actually is?

Well, I... Of course, it could be.

...that you've imagined him

correctly, down to his last tooth.

So, if I am correct...

...a few well-chosen hours with the mug.

would snap me out of this adolescent daze.

Hoppy, I'll deliberately see

him and make these things happen.

Well, I don't see that it's

necessary to carry things that far.

What if something went wrong?

You're likely to find yourself

living in a tunnel for two.

I know what I'm doing, and I

have faith in my own intelligence.

Well, I haven't. And furthermore, I...

Oh, answer that, Hoppy, will you?

I'm going to make a phone call.

All right, all right, I'm coming.

Doorbells should ring once and

then electrocute the ringer.

Oh.

Won't you come in?

Do you know anything about this?

Go get your sister.

Ryan. Ryan, Ryan, Ryan...

Like rabbits.

I can't find him. Do you

think he might be listed.

...in the business directory under "sandhog"?

He's in the living room under his hat.

He is?

Hey, I thought your approach

was to be strictly scientific.

What do you suppose he wants?

Well, I think there's been a mistake.

A mistake?

Hello.

Sweet kid. What's the matter?

You knew I'd be in a jam the

minute this picture was printed.

But to make yourself look good on the job...

...you're willing to turn it in

and get me four months' suspension.

How did they get this?

Look, if I want acting, I'd go to a show.

But I swear I had nothing... Hoppy!

Mr. Ryan, before you make any accusations...

...you should be ready

to prove your statements.

You took the picture, didn't

you? For that magazine, wasn't it?

So now, at a time when I

need every cent I can get...

...along comes this, and

I get tossed out on my ear.

Hoppy!

Coming, sister dear.

Well?

Nice, isn't it?

You knew this particular

picture was not to be released.

Now, who got it?

Henry. But why didn't you tell me?

After the way this gorilla

cracked Henry's skull...

...he had every right to print it.

Who does he think he is anyway...

...barging into people's

apartments uninvited?

Keeping them awake nights.

Awake nights? What are you talking about?

Why, certainly, she hasn't been

able to... She's hysterical.

Mr. Ryan, I was not responsible

for the publication of this picture.

I want you to believe me.

Okay. Doesn't help anything,

but I'll take your word for it.

Of course, I was involved to the extent of.

...taking it and not destroying the negative.

Forget it.

But you've been suspended at a time.

when you say you need money badly.

If it's a question of going hungry...

Who's going hungry? You angling

to toss some charity my way?

No.

I'd like to offer you a job for

the duration of your suspension.

Working for you? Like what?

Well, I have certain plans.

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