No Time for Love Page #4

I get it. Lady, I told you

once I don't want to play.

If you want to buy some muscles,

go out and get a cheap cut of beef.

Why, you...

Listen, you big ape. I'm not

interested in your nauseating charm.

I was offering you a job!

What can I do around here?

Well, you could carry heavy

equipment, couldn't you?

With the proper training,

you might even learn.

...to turn on a light by snapping a switch.

No posing?

No, Mr. Ryan.

You have my permission to

conceal your magnificent figure.

...at all times under an

overcoat and three heavy blankets.

Man's got to be careful

these days. What's the pay?

What were you getting? 150 a week.

Well, naturally that's...

I know. What can you afford?

Say, 35? Forty at the most.

Well, I wouldn't take the job if I

didn't figure you owe me something.

I'll start at 35 and

find out if I'm worth 40.

That's a deal. What do I do first?

Take off your hat.

Backstage at the Marquis

Theatre. Sounds good.

A day in the lives of 40 little

bleached, arrested mentalities.

It's a wonderful assignment.

People like to know about them.

What people? You, for instance?

I already know.

Oh, naturally.

Ryan, I hope there's no need

to warn you about any horseplay.

Remember, we're here on business.

Yes, teacher.

You can do without the humor,

especially when it isn't.

You wait here while I get the stage manager.

Mr. Ryan, Mr. Sweetzer. How do you do?

Hello. Now let's see. Give me the camera.

Say, that's quite an effect, isn't it?

Yes, it is.

Back home we call it a rope.

Believe it or not, you were

trying to catch a streetcar.

If you can spare the time, Mr.

Ryan, there's some work to be done.

Visitors, girls!

Girls, this is Miss Katherine Grant and...

Hello. Jim Ryan. Hi!

These people are from the Mirror Magazine...

...and I want you to give

them your fullest cooperation.

Mirror Magazine! Oh, wonderful!

If you should need me,

Miss Grant... We won't.

...I'll be right down the hall.

Thank you very much.

Hello, Mr. Ryan. Are you

going to skip poor little me?

Not if I can help it.

Oh.

You for me.

Oh, I'm just crazy for Mirror Magazine. Yeah?

Give me a break, will you, beauty?

What a job! Sure thing, cushions.

The name's Darlene.

Now, how do you want me to pose?

Strictly legit or ranky-tanky.

Oh.

I leave all the picture-taking

to my assistant over there.

I can show you how to look good, though.

Oh, you're awfully nice. But most men are.

Get up on the table. All right.

Cross you legs.

Now turn a little more, so we

can get a little more of the...

Yeah, that's...

Ryan! Huh?

Be back in a minute. All right.

I thought you understood this is no time.

...for personal projects. Now, stand by.

What are you beefing about? I just lined up.

...the snappiest fruit basket

in the show for a picture.

Oh, I suppose that took effort.

All I know is what men like to see in

a picture. Why don't you take a look?

What is she? An old friend as of today?

Come on, be a good guy. Give the kid a break.

No. Why not?

We're interested only in certain types.

Oh, afraid, huh?

Afraid I might bag a homer with your

boyfriend here. I'm wise, sister.

My boyfriend?

Looks like her round.

Well, far be it from me to

hide a light from a bushel.

If that's what the great American

public wants, we'll give it to them.

All right. Smile, Miss... Darlene.

Now, try to look intelligent. Huh?

Thank you. Hey, my face was open.

I wasn't ready. Oh, you looked great, honey.

With your picture on the cover,

we'll sell two million magazines.

See you later, huh? Uh-huh.

One at a time, girls. We'll

get around to all of you.

Take my word for it.

Ryan, you're an absolute genius.

Not only do those girls

think you're my boss...

...but they also believe

you own the magazine.

Can I help it if I look like an executive?

And that Darlene.

Where on earth could she

find a name like that?

Sounds like a substitute for butter.

She's a swell kid.

I'm well aware of your opinion...

...but I don't have to share it, do I?

She can do five shows a day. Can you do that?

Those simple little dance steps?

I've seen children dance better

than that, on their hands.

And if I bleached my hair, I could look just.

...as cheap and tough as

Darlene and six friends.

Maybe you could, at that.

You better watch yourself.

You know, you're not a bad egg. Mmm?

Nothing razzle-dazzle...

...but you could be a lot of

woman if you ever got the urge.

You're talking to your employer, Ryan.

I like it. You got brains,

ability, good looks.

Everything a man admires in a woman.

Well, thanks.

Say, are we working tonight?

No. What are you doing?

Nothing.

Then would you be as sweet as

you look and lend me your car?

What? Thanks. You're a pal.

I maneuvered a date with Darlene.

Oh, that's fine.

In these times, with my

tires, you're going joy riding.

Oh, no, you got me wrong. All

I want to do is park it out.

...in front of her apartment for a flash.

After all, I'm supposed to be a big shot.

You know, this is wonderful.

Positively wonderful!

Exactly as I'd hoped.

What's wonderful?

You're proving my point, you ape.

Look at her. Brazen, bleached,

not a brain in her head.

What did she do to you?

Nothing.

Only wouldn't you know she'd

be just the type for Ryan?

They were attracted to each

other like syrup to a pancake.

Can't be this light that's turning you green.

I told you, you can't

fight fire by eating it.

I'm doing all right. One more day like this.

...and I'll be so fed up with the man...

...it'll be an effort to listen to his name.

I don't think.

Who's here besides Roger? Henry.

Oh, what does he want?

Don't ask me. He's your boyfriend.

Hello. Oh, hello, dear.

I had hopes that you might

be lonely this evening.

Lonely? With 200 pounds

of manhood on her payroll?

Who told you that? Wasn't I supposed to tell?

Tell what?

She hired that big sandhog as an assistant.

...in a crazy attempt to get fed up with him.

Silliest idea I ever heard of.

I don't think it's silly. I

ate a whole jar of honey once.

What? Period.

You hired that ditch digger

who was here the other night?

Mmm-hmm. Is there a law against it?

Well, what does he know about photography?

Nothing.

Have you lost your mind, Kate?

Are you letting yourself be

completely swayed by emotionalism.

Oh, no. Exactly the opposite.

I was attracted to the man.

Now I'm deliberately proving how

ridiculous that attraction is.

But you were attracted.

Isn't that what she said?

Katherine, I insist that you

end this association immediately.

Go ahead and insist.

Meanwhile, I'll continue settling

my own problems in my own way.

Katherine Grant speaking.

Hi. This is Ryan. Say, how'd

that picture of Darlene come out?

Where are you?

It did, huh? That's great.

Ryan, you'd better tell

that girl immediately.

...that her picture will not be used.

RYAN... On the cover, huh?

Hey, that's a break, isn't it?

Yeah, she'll be glad to

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