No Time for Sergeants Page #9

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was put on the same flight crew...

...because they put you

according to how you come in your class...

...and we was the bottom two.

Sergeant King though,

he came out on top.

He did. The instructor said

they never seen nothing like it.

It was just as if he had copies of the test

before they gave them.

All right, boys, get this one off

and you can all get back to sleep.

Hey, look at you with an arm band

and a writing pad and everything.

All right, get on the plane.

You're taking off right now.

Hey, we can't. Everybody ain't here yet.

The radio operator and the front gunner,

they ain't showed up.

KING:
All right. Get onboard the plane.

Get moving.

Clear.

How come we're going up so early,

sergeant?

To break the sound barrier.

You gotta sneak up on it

when nobody's looking.

Oh.

Excuse me, sir.

- Excuse me, sirs. Howdy.

- What the...?

It's all right, George.

He's one of the crew.

Okay, okay.

Don't come sneaking up

on people like that, fella.

Sorry, sir. I just wanted to see

what you all do up here.

It's on automatic pilot.

- Did you already let up the wheels?

- Heck, yes.

Shucks.

- What are you all do in back, anyhow?

- Nothing much.

I mostly look out the blister

and sweep up a little.

Good night.

Excuse me, sir.

Take an awful long time

to get to Denver, Colorado.

What they doing up there?

Oh, you'd be right proud of them, Ben.

They're working real hard.

Steering and navigating

and engineering and all.

Navigator to pilot.

Navigator to pilot, over.

Pilot to navigator.

Fred, I wish you wouldn't call me

once we're off the ground.

We're over the Gulf of Mexico, you idiot.

How can we be over

the Gulf of Mexico...

...when there's a city below us

half the size of New York?

You wanna come back here

and check the maps?

I figured our position

by dead reckoning...

...and we're smack-dab in the middle

of the Gulf of Mexico.

Hey, fellas, Number 2 engine is dead.

Okay.

[ENGINE FALTERING]

- Prepare for landing.

- This is not a seaplane.

Copilot to rear gunner.

Copilot to rear gunner. Over.

[BUZZER SOUNDING]

Howdy.

Have you seen anything below

that might have been a body of water?

No, sir, I ain't seen nothing.

I been sweeping up.

What is the matter with that

radio operator? Pilot to radio operator.

- Pilot to radio operator. Over.

- Copilot to radio operator. Over.

- Navigator to radio operator. Over?

- Rear gunner to everybody.

Radio operator missed the plane.

- Oh, no.

- Oh, no.

- Over.

- Listen, rear gunner...

...you ought to know

how to operate that radio.

See if you can find out

where we are. This is an emergency.

We know exactly where we are.

Hey, sir, you ought to give the job

to the other gunner.

I reckon he'd be about the

best dang radio operator there is...

...in the whole danged Air Force.

All right, just put somebody

on that lousy radio! Over and out!

Hey, hey, hey, Ben. Hey, listen.

Hey, hey, wake up, Ben.

- What?

- Listen, it's an emergency.

We're lost and Lieutenant Bridges

wants you to be the radio operator...

...and find out where we are.

It's your big chance, Ben,

to save the plane and us and everything.

- Me?

- They heard what a good soldier you was.

Golly. Oh, Lord.

- Hey, here's some instructions.

- Good. Read them off.

I'll operate and you be my assistant.

Assistant?

Yes, sir. Heh-heh.

Um..."lmportant notice.

The taxpayers of the United States

paid their..."

- Here. You operate, I'll read.

- Oh, but they gave the job to you, Ben.

Go on. I gotta think for the good

of the outfit.

"Two. Turn oscillator control knob..."

I think that's the big one there.

"...to transmission frequency desired."

Well, what frequency do we desire?

Well, I'll leave that up to you.

Alrighty.

"Adjust Knob B...

...so as to obtain minimum impedance."

Hey, listen, Ben. We got

a little old radio on the porch...

...whenever it won't work,

Pa spits in the back of it...

...and whomps it a good

and it works every time. Let's see.

There you are, she's a-working.

- She's a-working.

- We done it, Will.

Hello?

[SPITS]

Hello?

There. Ha-ha. I told you I'd find an airport.

That's a drive-in movie. Pull up.

Pull up. Pull up.

[ENGINE BACKFIRES]

Hello?

If you get somebody,

be careful what you say.

- It might be the enemy.

- What enemy?

- I don't know, but be careful.

- Okay.

Hello?

[SPITS]

Hello?

OFFICER:
Sergeant.

MAN:
I'm clear on one.

Door.

[SPITTING O VER RADIO]

Excuse me, sir, but I'm getting

a very odd signal here. Listen.

MAN [O VER RADIO]:

- in 5930, chap. Over.

That is odd.

Sounds like somebody spitting.

BEN:
Okay, Will, try it again.

WILL:
Yes, sir.

Hello?

Hello?

Anybody there?

- Hello?

- Hello.

- Hello.

- Hello?

Howdy.

- Hey, Ben, I got somebody.

BEN:
How about that?

Who are you? Where are you?

WILL:

Ben, he wants to know who we are.

Answer me. Who the devil are you?

He talks like an American, Ben.

Ben says, "First, who are you?"

This is command post

Operation Prometheus.

- Are you in an airplane?

- Sure are.

- Oh, great Scott.

- No, sir. Stockdale.

That must be this pip

on the scope, sir.

- Heading straight towards the tower, sir.

- Judas priest.

- Is this the Gulf of Mexico?

- No, you idiot.

- Send word to stop the detonator.

- It's too late, sir. Zero-minus-4.

Hey, where'd you say we was?

You're right over Yucca Flats, Nevada.

The atomic proving ground.

Listen to me.

I want you to turn that plane around...

...and head right back

where you came from.

There they are.

Straight toward the tower.

Ben says,

"Sorry. Our orders come from General Bush.

We got to do like he says. "

- Eugene Bush?

- Our commanding general.

- Fat fellow with a mustache.

- I might've known.

Get me through to General Bush.

That idiot, I'll kill him for this.

Get me General Bush,

12th Air Group. Emergency.

All right. I don't care what Ben says

or what Eugene Bush said.

I'm a general too,

in the U.S. Army infantry.

The infantry?

Yes, and I'm ordering you to turn

that plane around this minute.

You're heading straight into...

[STATIC WHINING O VER RADIO]

Hello? Hello?

- Great Scott, I've lost them.

- He's right here, sir.

Bush here.

Eugene, this is Vernon Pollard.

Vernon. Well, how are you, old boy?

You've sabotaged my operation,

you idiot.

You were ordered to send your plane

far away and one is coming over us.

I sent them away, Vernon.

- I sent them to Denver.

- I don't care where you sent them.

- What's wrong with your communications?

- What's wrong...

...with your security measures, old boy?

Shut up and listen.

I'm trying to reestablish radio contact.

What kind of idiot radio operators

do you put in planes?

What kind of idiot radio operators

did you put in those planes?

I'll skin you for this, Eugene.

[SPITTING O VER RADIO]

Sir, I've got that signal again.

WILL:
Hello?

MAN:
Twenty-three, stand by.

Hello?

Hello, listen, here's your General Bush.

They got General Bush there, Ben.

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