No Way Jose Page #9

It's all on Facebook.

I'd show you.

Okay. All right.

Well, thanks for

telling me, you know.

I mean... All right, all right.

You're welcome, buddy.

Okay, so you sure there's

nothing else of any consequence

you're maybe

forgetting, omitting?

That honeymoon

comment got 31 likes.

All right.

You all set?

Sorry.

Sorry.

Gotta approach him

from the front. Okay?

Okay.

Hi. Hi, everybody.

Thank you so much

for coming to Violet's 4th

and Jose's 40th birthday.

Anyway, this year we decided

not to do a bouncy house,

but we do have an amazing band.

Jose's band and

Gabe's old band, actually.

Erstwhile!

What?

I prefer erstwhile.

All right, so without

any further ado,

the erstwhile line up

of Jose and the Borges.

Yay, Daddy!

Thank you, Kate.

This is dedicated to your couch.

When was the last time

you smoked a joint

at a children's birthday party?

August.

I'm a little boy,

I'm a little boy, I'm a little boy

I'm a little boy blue

I'm a little boy,

I'm a little boy, I'm a little boy

I'm a little boy blue

Are you a little girl,

you a little girl You a little girl

You a little girl true?

'Cause I'm a little boy,

I'm a little boy And I'm a little boy

And I'm a little boy true

Yeah! Yeah!

It's too loud.

Turn it off.

Gabe!

Gabe!

It's way, way, way...

It's a kids' party.

Gabe! Gabe!

It's too loud.

You need to stop.

I need some help.

Somebody help me here.

All right. Okay.

I got this.

All right, Hendrix.

Let's go.

Song's over.

That's enough with the feedback, man.

All right, Nugent.

Let's get you some water.

He's a fighter.

I just wanted to rock out

with my cock out, you know?

He's gonna be all right.

I know. I know.

Sorry, sorry.

I'm fine. Sorry.

Yeah, it's okay, baby.

Let's just go inside.

Where's my shoe?

"I cannot account for the hours

"that have been

smothered into submission.

"Not only this afternoon

"but day after day,

"year after year.

"Over the wasted

course of which time,

"I have been repeating

this futile lament.

"That it makes no difference.

"I have already put in more than

"my share of time

that adds up to nothing."

I guess the world is ready.

"One afternoon after another,

"passing in a hypnagogic blur,

"struggling to find

it's not there.

"Trapped in a refuge

of bypassed intentions.

"Yet from this tedium,

I would not welcome interruption.

"I like to complain.

"It creates the illusion

that I'm doing something."

Hey. Hey, hey, hey, hey!

I'm gonna have to do the rest

in English if that's okay.

Okay, thanks.

Yes, I was wondering if you could

connect me to

Dusty Morrison's room?

Okay. What about, I don't know,

what about Dusty Stern?

No? All right, what about,

I don't know, Joseph Stern?

My name is

Joseph Stern, actually.

Okay. I don't suppose

you could tell me if

a very beautiful woman,

5'4", alabaster skin,

very luminous. Yeah.

No, I... Yes.

Yes, no, I've seen

plenty of movies. Gracias.

Hello?

Hi.

Um...

Yeah, yeah. Yeah,

no, I can hear you fine.

I don't know why I can,

but I can, seriously.

You get better

service in Mexico.

Yeah, Mexico. I'm here.

Where are you?

I gave them every surname I could think of.

Did you marry somebody else?

I'm in Santa Barbara.

You're in Santa... Why?

It said you were on your

honeymoon on Facebook

and Gus dreamed a dream I had

sort of that you were in Mexico.

I've been trying to reach you.

My e-mails kept bouncing back.

I mean, I've been calling you for days.

Ever since I got here.

Really?

Goddamn phone.

You're in Mexico?

Yeah, I flew down.

I flew down to Mexico

to rescue you from drug lords

or win you back from a

full-blooded Mexican man or...

What, you flew?

Yes, I flew.

Yeah, believe me, I flew.

I'm like 10 pounds lighter.

Santa Barbara,

I don't understand.

I was gonna go to Mexico.

I was furious,

and I was gonna go on

our goddamn honeymoon

if it was the last

goddamn thing I did.

Yeah, well, literally.

It's terrifying down here.

No, it's not. You're

basically in San Diego.

Anyway, I couldn't do it.

It's not me.

It felt like something

someone would do but not me.

So I decided to come

here for your birthday.

So you're on my birthday

and I'm on our honeymoon?

Yeah, I guess so.

This has nothing to do with,

you know, Dave, right?

Who's Dave?

Dave.

Bob. Steve. Dr. Bob.

Steve?

The guy from,

you know, the handsome.

Bob. No,

he's housesitting.

Bob, is that what this is about?

No, no. No.

I came down here because I

wanted you to know something.

Okay.

I came down here because I

wanted you to know that I'm...

Because I wanted you

to know that I'm...

That I'm

a little queasy,

I think, from the flight

or the food on the flight.

I don't know if it was

really food exactly.

Sorry, I just...

God! Jesus.

I just got a... Sorry...

Neck...

Jose?

Yeah, honey.

Jesus, maybe...

I'm pregnant.

Just find it in my heart

Among the living change

To find a brighter morrow

One must rearrange

Every thought you thought

Every word you sung

To the poems of yore

That's a losing score

You're nothing but a punk

You're nothing but a punk

You can even reason

You can even hope

Your poetic justice

is justified

You suck it in your throat

You swallow down at night

You slam it in the mornin'

It used to be all right

But you're a big one now

You're all grown up

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