Norm of the North Page #4

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sounds like a bear,

and smells as bad as a bear

is a bear.

I knew it!

You think you're real slick,

don't you, old bear?

You thought you could send one of

your bear operatives to take me out?

Snap!

Well, I got news for you, Gramps.

- No way I'm goin' down that easy.

Norm of the North is finished.

I've got a bear assassin to get rid of.

Norm?

He's an actor.

Never takes off his costume.

Are you okay?

I'm fine. I usually sit on the ground

at home anyway.

Um... for an entre,

you want to do chef's choice.

He can always read

what his guests want.

Sure.

This should be interesting.

Sorry we couldn't bring

the lemmings.

A little health code thing.

Do you think they're okay

down in the office by themselves?

Uh, I needed this.

You have no idea.

This day has been something else.

Both the bridge and the tunnel

were closed this morning

so traffic was a nightmare,

and Tony was yellin' at me

like it was my fault or something.

He's just mad because he's short.

No offense.

So, um...

Greene Homes up in the Arctic?

Crazy, huh? I'll take you to see

an exact mock-up of one.

It's actually a few floors

down from our offices.

You'll see, they practically

sell themselves.

If that's even a good thing.

What's-- what's that?

Nothing, nothing. Just, after having

been up in the Arctic myself

and seeing how beautiful it is,

I wonder if it's even good

to have houses up there.

That sounds silly, doesn't it?

Not at all.

I know exactly what you mean.

Oh, I gotta take this.

It's my daughter.

Hi, Olympia.

How did the tour go?

Are you loving the new school?

Well, it was just a tour,

but I'm happy you love it.

I'll talk to Mr. Greene again and--

No.

Okay, honey. I have to go.

See you tonight. Love you.

- A lot goin' on?

- Yeah, sorry about that.

Olympia is, well, brilliant,

but it's... complicated.

Good schools are important.

Yes. Really, really.

Really important.

Mmm.

Oh, thanks, Chef Kozawa.

That certainly looks fresh.

You wanna play rough?

Okay.

Don't worry, patrons,

it's just a tranquilizer gun.

It's only sometimes lethal

on humans.

I don't know who sent you,

but the party's over, pal.

Mr. Greene, what are you doing?

You smell like a wild animal, Norm.

Mr. Greene, just because

I haven't bathed,

you're gonna shoot me?

Jeez, I heard New Yorkers

could be hostile,

but this is a little much.

I'm warning you!

Ah, is there a sharp pain

in everyone's bottom?

Or is it just me?

Ohh, I'm feeling it.

Norm-san,

you are my guest anytime.

- Arigato.

- Do itashi, bro.

Norm of the North, everyone.

Where am I?

What happened?

Somebody shoot that bear!

Mr. Greene, please, relax.

I think you might want to see this.

And in other news...

The local news caught your outburst

at Kozawa's today

and Norm's heroism.

Everyone's talking about Norm,

and look at our approval ratings.

Oh, my goodness.

We are rising faster than the oceans.

Norm, uh, buddy. I...

I thought he was a real bear.

I mean, I was confused

because he smells

just like that other polar...

vortex.

That storm brought all the smells

of winter right to our doorsteps.

"Real bear," huh?

You know what?

Just forget the whole thing.

Some guy from a cola company

approached me at Kozawa's.

Said they needed a bear

for a holiday thing.

Because of me,

your ratings just jumped 20%.

Imagine what I could do

for a real company.

Norm, wait.

If you let him walk out that door,

we are back to square one.

Norm, Norm, Norm.

Um, I am so sorry I shot at you.

Hug?

Awkward.

Well, Normie has to look

for a new job and a place to live.

Not all of us can afford

a fancy Greene condo,

which I hear is fully furnished

and uninhabited,

and I will probably

sleep in the park alone.

Norm, wait.

Vera, he can stay...

in the model home.

Ah! I am brilliant!

Hmm. Perfect.

So close to work,

no commute and so homey.

Right, lemmings?

Hey, hey-hey-hey, careful.

Those are the finest

leather hides from Italy.

- Are they housetrained?

- Oh, definitely.

They've peed in tons of houses.

Well, I guess we'll settle in.

Okay, we'll work on getting you

out on the campaign trail

for Greene Homes.

Get some rest, and there's a minibar

with some food in it.

I'll give you a 3% discount.

Vera, you work on

settin' up the marketing.

I'll take care of the rest.

Okay, boys, we gotta find Grandpa,

stop these condos from gettin' built

and get home.

And on top of all that,

Mr. Greene's watching us,

so act natural.

Not that natural.

Okay.

Okay, look.

Okay, look, we need someone

to provide cover

while I go investigate that shelf

that smelled like Grandpa.

I think I know just the guy.

Look, all you have to do is go up there

and pretend to be me.

The lemmings will let you in.

There's plenty of salmon

in the minibar, so help yourself.

Brilliant.

Thank you, kind bear.

We'll leave the lights on for you.

Okay, it's just like an iceberg--

an iceberg with hundreds of witnesses

to watch me climb.

Mm-hmm!

Whoo-hoo!

I just got it.

That's our Norm, huh?

I'll start booking talk shows

first thing in the morning.

I have Councilwoman Klubeck

ready for the call.

Janet, you're the best

at being the worst.

Knock next time.

Whatever.

You just woke me up,

so this better be good.

Sorry to wake you,

but I found an actor

who plays a polar bear perfectly.

He even smells like a bear.

The public will fall for him for sure.

Smart. They'll love him,

especially all those extra tourists

we let in the Arctic.

Just for you, Greene.

On that note, the floor plans

for your condo in the Bahamas

are already on the way.

It's so gigantic

it's bigger than my ego.

And we got those deluxe

showerheads--

oh, it'll wash that guilt right off.

I don't have any guilt.

You want 10 miles of ice,

we still have five million more.

Just get the people

behind this.

I need that to push this through.

Well done, Greene. As usual.

That smells like my grandpa.

Okay, think.

If you were a slightly creepy,

one-note villain,

where would you keep stuff hidden?

Right. This guy's got

security cameras everywhere.

I'll be too obvious.

You guys go check it out first.

If Grandpa's actually in there,

tell him Norm has come

to the rescue.

If you guys had bones,

I'd be worried about you.

...can't you see I'm busy?

Lemmings!

ls Norm with you?

So he was down there?

Well, we need to get him out

right now.

Grandpa says it'll blow my cover

if I break him out?

He wants me to build an ark?

Oh, no, no.

He wants me to focus on the Arctic,

saving the Arctic.

I got it. It all makes sense.

I'll save the Arctic first,

and then I'll save Grandpa.

And then, if I have time,

I'll build an ark.

Makeup!

Hey, Norm. Norm,

this is my daughter, Olympia.

Olympia, this is the great actor

I was telling you about.

Great to meet you, Norm.

Quite a costume you found yourself.

Yes, hi, Mr. Greene.

Sorry I didn't pick up before.

Your mom is very good

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