Normal Adolescent Behavior Page #5

in the middle of the night.

I swear I don't know

what time it is

But I know this means

Nothing much to me

And I hear the voices

Telling me to let go

Let go

Telling me to let go

Let go

Telling me to let go

To let go

I can't.

Y-You can't, and then you can.

You don't, and then you do.

I mean... how much more of this

am I supposed to take?

Just till graduation.

Just till graduation.

Oh, great.

Okay. All right, fine.

Wait, wait, wait, wait,

wait, wait, wait.

What, now you want me?

- Why?

- Hmm?

You can't wait seven months

for me? Just seven months.

You know what,

if you were gonna join...

If you were gonna join

the army or something,

you know, then...

then, yeah, maybe,

but you're gonna hook up

with three guys

for the next seven months.

You know what? I don't...

I don't think I can.

Hey.

Yeah?

You wanna be

like your parents?

Yeah, I guess.

They seem pretty happy.

Yeah, I guess.

- You know what?

- What?

You should meet me

this afternoon.

- Yeah?

- Mm-Hmm.

I don't know.

Maybe. Maybe, okay?

- Maybe?

- Maybe, yeah.

- Wait here.

- Ooh.

Ohh!

- Hi.

- Hi.

Um... is Sean home?

Uh, I think

he's still at school.

Okay. So, uh,

he actually lent me...

He, um...

He lent me these comics.

I read them.

Do you need help

with anything?

Unpacking?

So do you

stay home all day?

You mean, like a housewife?

God, no.

I work for a drug company

in research and development.

I used to teach science

part-time, but, you know,

now that Sean's grown up,

I... I get to have a real,

full-time job.

So... you didn't go

to work today, right?

Uh, no. L... I took

a little time to get settled.

You know, but... doesn't seem

to be that much to do.

What does, uh, your...

um, you know, Sean's dad...

- What's he do?

- Oh, Bill.

He's in finance,

um, you know, banking.

The funny thing is, he's...

he's, like, really bad

with money. Terrible...

except if it's

like millions.

I guess

it's not that funny.

No. Guess not.

Wow.

You... You made that

from my cupboard?

Yeah, I mean, be better

with some fresh hazelnut

and some powdered sugar,

but it's...

it's still really good.

Here, let me get you a fork.

Mmm.

- You cook a lot?

- Yeah. At home, a lot.

You know,

first it just started out

with, you know,

the simple, basic...

just steak, rice,

and green beans...

Not that my mom or my sister

even noticed, but...

then I just started

to teach myself lots of things.

You know, I'm

pretty much self-taught.

Just... I just taught myself

how to make, um, fresh bread

and... and pastries.

- Those are really, really easy.

- Who knew?

I'll teach you

a couple things... um, for Bill.

Uh... but right now,

I'm actually working

on a glazed salmon

with risotto.

- Oh.

- So, yeah.

Did you know you have

to drive 90 minutes for frisee?

It's ridiculous, but...

You can cook for me anytime.

Really?

Absolutely.

Ooh! Oh!

Ow, ow!

Ow!

You landed on your butt!

- No, I landed on my knee,

- Oh!

And I broke it, actually.

It wasn't that bad.

Thanks.

Ow!

Oh, shut up.

That didn't hurt.

- No, your rings.

- Oh. Sorry.

- All right, that's okay.

- Wow. Hit me again.

Come on, hit me for real.

- What?

- Yeah. Come on.

Hit me for real.

I wanna see what it

feels like to get spanked.

- No, I'm not gonna hit you.

- Come on.

If I'm telling you it's okay,

then you're not gonna hurt me.

- Come on, spank me.

- No.

- Why not?

- Because...

I've never

been spanked before,

- Yeah, well...

- not once.

Well, I have

been spanked, okay?

My... I got spanked

when I was a kid for stealing.

It hurts, it's cruel.

I'm never spanking my kids.

I'm certainly

not gonna spank you.

You have to.

You know, sometimes,

they're bad,

and they have to learn.

I never learned.

Spank me, please.

Come on, just once.

All right, this is... this is

gonna be quick, and then...

- Okay, you know what?

- Come on. Keep going.

- This is really weird.

- Why'd you stop?

- Keep going.

- No, I can't.

This... This is abnormal.

I'm not abnormal.

No, I didn't

say you were abnormal.

- I just said this was...

- Fine, fine, fine.

I'm abnormal, and you just want

the girl next door.

Uh, you are

the girl next door.

You know what I mean!

Look, come back, please?

- No, I have calculus.

- This is ridiculous.

- Yeah, yeah, well, so do I.

- So, go to work.

Look, don't you want me

to take you out on dates?

You know, like, we'll...

we'll sip ice cream sodas,

we'll have picnics in the park,

that kind of thing?

I mean, don't you want that?

Shouldn't we have done that

before we had sex?

I'm sorry. I don't...

I mean... Ahem... I don't

know how to do this.

L... l... I don't know

how to be a girlfriend.

I'm not sure

I even wanna know how.

Come here. Come here.

Get over here.

What do you want?

Uh, I want world peace.

Oh, look, Sarcastic Man.

Able to be a jerk

in a single bound.

Yeah, bite me.

No, no! Don't bite me!

You're not gonna break me.

I promise.

Ohh.

So you guys never did this

before on your Saturday nights?

- Ohh... no.

- No?

I don't know...

how much I believe you.

Are we talking or spanking?

We're spanking.

Ow, f***er.

Everybody has to be into it.

Not everybody likes

to get spanked, I guess.

Do you?

Ow! Stop.

No. Look, put your f***in'

hands down, okay?

There's no hitting me,

you hear that?

There's no hitting me.

Oh, yeah?

We're making rules now?

Yeah.

I thought you'd like it

if we had rules.

Don't you... Don't you have rules

in your little club?

Stop calling it that.

Well, what would you call it?

They're my best friends.

I've known them

since elementary school,

and I love them.

Why?

Ow.

Okay, okay, okay.

All right.

It's your game, okay?

You make it sound perverted

when you call it that.

You don't think

it's perverted?

No, I don't.

I never worry, like about

if I'm pretty or sexy.

Never worry about going

to parties or being alone...

because I love them.

- They're really cool people.

- Who you like to f***.

So? I like to sleep

with you, too.

You're never gonna

make me feel like they do.

So are those the only rules?

Be honest.

That's the other one.

I guess you're breakin'

that one with me.

Yeah.

Come here.

So were you lying?

- When?

- When you said you loved me?

- I never said that.

- But you do.

- Yeah.

- Yeah, so say it then.

I love you.

Yeah?

Say it back.

- Maybe I will if, uh...

- No, you don't have to.

I love you.

I love you.

This is where

we kiss now, right?

I can't stand it,

I'm gonna explode

My insides comin' out

So what do I do now?

So what do I do now?

So what if

I don't know how?

So what?

So what?

She won't do it, will she?

Huh?

What, are you thinking

of running away?

How 'bout we play

the whole fantasy game

Jonah was talking about?

We'll hold you down.

We'll make you scream.

Shut up, Billie.

Hey, you have no idea

what it means

if she leaves right now.

- It doesn't mean anything.

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