Not a Love Story: Making (500) Days of Summer Page #6

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to botheryou.

No, no. I, um

Yeah, let's get coffee.

Afteryou.

[ Man ]

Sweet

[ No Audible Dialogue ]

Disposition

Never

Too soon

A moment, a love

A dream aloud

A kiss, a cry

our rights, our wrongs

You look nice.

Thanks.

So do you.

Sweet

well?

Disposition

[ whispers ]

Penis.

No.

I now pronounce you

husband and wife.

You may kiss the bride.

[ Woman ]

Helping the kids out oftheir coats

Wait, the babies haven't been born

Oh, oh, oh-oh-oh-oh, oh

Unpacking the bags and setting up

And planting lilacs and buttercups

[ Summer ]

okay. what else you got?

[ Continues, Faint ]

Well, you snore.

No, I don't.

You do.

No, I don't.

Yeah.

Well, you do too.

Oh, I definitely do.

And your feet reek.

That one time!

No, every time.

That one time!

[ Chuckling ]

No.

That one time especially,

but every time.

And when you wake up,

your hair, it sticks up like that.

It's ridiculous.

You're ridiculous.

Your favorite Beatle is Ringo.

Damn right!

Ringo's the best.

Ringo is-

Goose!

Oh! oh! oh!

Man! He's fast. Damn! All right.

You got me. Duck.

[ Giggling ]

Duck.

At last

My love has come along

My lonely days are over

One, two, three.

[ Exhales ]

And life is like a song

Wanna dance?

Yeah.

Okay.

Oh, at last

The skies above are blue

Hey, I was wondering, um

I was gonna maybe have

a party on Friday, um,

on our rooftop that has,

like, a really nice garden,

ifyou want to come.

Yeah.

Foryou are mine

Ifyou're not busy.

At last

I don't think I will be.

[ Chuckling ]

They're good, huh?

They are good.

[ Ends ]

I guess I just got lucky.

Um, we met in elementary school.

In seventh grade

we had the same class schedule,

and, uh,

wejust clicked, you know?

Love?

Sh*t, I don't know.

As long as she's cute

and she's willing, right?

I'm flexible on the cute, so

Twenty-one years.

She's the light that guides me home.

Yes, that is from one ofour cards.

No. Someone else wrote it.

Doesn't make it less true.

I think technically

the ''girl of my dreams''...

would probably have, like,

a really bodacious rack, you know.

Maybe different hair.

Probably-

You know, she'd probably be

a little more into sports.

But, um, truthfully,

Robyn's Robyn's better

than the girl of my dreams.

She's real.

[ Woman ]

He never, ever saw it coming at all

[ Buzzes ]

Never, ever saw it coming at all

[ Narrator]

Tom walked to her apartment,

intoxicated by the promise ofthe evening.

It's all right

It's all right

He believed that this time...

his expectations would align with reality.

It's all right

Hey, open wide

Here comes original sin

Hi.

Hey.

Hey, open wide

Here comes original sin

You look nice.

[ Chuckles ]

Yeah. Thanks.

I like your tie. Wow!

Hi.

Howyou doing?

Good. How are you?

Good.

It's all right

It's all right

It's all right

lt's all right, it's all right

It's all right

No one's got it all

I, um, brought you something.

No one's got it all

That's so nice.

No one's got it all

Thankyou.

You shouldn't have.

That's so nice.

It's the-

Thankyou so much.

No problem.

I'm excited to read it.

Yeah.

Come on.

And we're going to these meetings

- So, Tom, what is it that you do?

- Uh, I write greeting cards.

Tom could be

a really great architect

if he wanted to be.

[ Woman ]

That's unusual.

I mean, what made you go

from one to the other?

I guess I just figured,

why make something disposable,

like a building,

when you can make something

that lasts forever, like a greeting card?

[ Chuckles ]

It's all right

lt's all right

It's all right

lt's all right

[ Chuckles ]

what?

It's all right

No one's got it all

Do you guys

know each other?

No one's got it all

Power to the people

We don't want it

we want pleasure

And the TVs try to rape us

And I guess that they're succeeding

And we're going to these meetings

But we're not doing any meeting

And we're trying to be faithful

But we're cheating

cheating, cheating

I'm the hero ofthe story

Don't need to be saved

It's all right

It's all right

lt's all right, it's all right

It's all right

lt's all right

It's all right

lt's all right, it's all right

It's all right

lt's all right

No one's got it all

All, all

All, all

[ Alarm Buzzing ]

[ Rock ]

[ Man ]

Hung up and bent on a stranger

Just trying to swing a full-time ride

I never knew the cold hand ofdanger

Till I met this one and took it inside

Now I can't get near it

Get a room! Really.

Don't want to hear it

My cover's blown

I walked in the rain like a drone

All the way to Marquette

[ Alarm Buzzing ]

The infinite pet

Oh, no

No, no, no, no, no

Cheaper than all your threats

No, no

Sh*t.

I've been calling you

every five minutes.

Are you okay?

I'm great.

What happened to you?

I don't wanna talk about it.

You always wanna

talk about it.

Not this.

Okay. well, come on.

Let's go.

where are we going?

It's Thursday!

This one says, ''Go for it!''

And this one says,

''You can do it!''

we have a whole line

of inspirational photographic cards...

featuring Pickles, my cat.

l think people will really enjoy them.

- Thankyou.

- [ Vance ]

Good job, Rhoda.

That's inspirational stuff.

Okay. Who's next?

We haven't heard from

Sympathy in a while.

Hansen?

Yeah?

The Winter Collection?

Do you have anything

to contribute?

Uh, no.

I really don't.

[ Clears Throat ]

Okay.

We'll come back to you.

Uh, McKenzie?

Actually, you know what?

Yes, Tom?

Can I say something

about the cat?

Well, okay.

Yeah, uh, this is

And, Rhoda, no disrespect here,

but, um, this is total sh*t.

Tom!

''Go for it'' and ''You can do it''?

That's not inspirational.

That's suicidal.

If Pickles goes for it right there,

that's a dead cat.

These are lies. we're liars.

Think about it.

Why do people buy these things?

It's not 'cause they want

to say how they feel.

People buy cards 'cause

they can't say how they feel,

or they're afraid to.

We provide the service

that lets them offthe hook.

You know what?

I say, to hell with it!

Let's level with America.

At least let them speak

for themselves! Right?

I mean, look! What what is this?

What does it say?

''Congratulations

on your new baby.'' Right?

How 'bout, ''Congratulations

on your new baby.

- That's it for hanging out.

Nice knowing you.''

- Sit down, Hansen.

How 'bout this one, with all

the pretty hearts on the front?

I know where this is going. Yep!

''Happy Valentine's Day,

sweetheart. I love you.''

That sweet? Ain't love grand?

This is exactly

what I'm talking about.

What does that even mean, ''love''?

Do you know? Do you? Anybody?

Tom.

Ifsomebody gave me this card,

Mr. Vance, I would eat it.

It's- It's these cards,

and the movies, and the pop songs

They're to blame for all the lies...

and the heartache, everything.

And we're responsible.

I'm responsible.

I think we do a bad thing here.

People should be able

to say how they feel

how they really feel

not, you know, some words

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