Not the Three Stooges XXX Page #2

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That's for all the stupid things

you did while I was gone.

I told you he'd find out.

Come on. Let's go start a small brushfire

and whiz it out.

It's 12:
05 and nothing rang.

Weren't those morons

supposed to fix the bell last week?

Have patience, Sister Mary-Mengele,

they do their best.

At least they're working on something

in there.

Yeah, they've been at it all morning.

Yeah, well, I think I'll go have

a little word with them.

When are you clowns going to fix that...

I knew it.

It's an earthquake.

Man the lifeboats.

Women and children first.

It's Attila the Nun.

She's 100 yards out and closing fast.

You're lucky I'm not in charge

or you three would've been run out of here

a long time ago.

Now, get up on that roof and fix the bell,

you no-good lazy bums!

Who're you calling lazy?

You! And if any of yous

have got a problem with it

you can step forward right now.

Oh, yeah? You got something to say?

Go ahead, champ. Show her who's boss.

And left, right, left.

Left, right, left.

Left, right, left. Left, right, left.

And company halt. Drop anchor.

Here we go, here we go. There we go.

- Success.

- Success.

- Success.

- Success.

All right, break it up.

How're we going to get at the bell?

It's hiding in that box.

Why don't you go buy a toupee

with some brains in it? We'll cut it open.

Hey, onion-head, go on back to the shed

and grab the chainsaw.

Why doesn't Larry go?

- Because he's got a headache.

- No, I don't.

- How about now?

- Yeah, it's coming on.

Hey, guys, how's it hanging?

- Heya, Murph.

- Hey, Murph.

Hey, Murph.

You feeling any better?

We missed you at the poker game

last night.

I'm okay, I guess.

So, who was the big winner?

Ah! Peezer cleaned us out.

Peezer? He's seven.

Yeah, but he wears those sunglasses,

you can't tell what he's thinking.

We'll check in on you later, Murph.

- See you.

Bye, Murph.

See you, Murph.

Monsignor Ratliffe?

We weren't expecting you.

I need to speak to Mother Superior.

It's rather urgent.

Here you go, Murph.

Look what I brought you!

Oh, boy! Cheese!

Where'd you snag this from?

Mousetraps up in the attic.

Oh, come on, Murph.

You got to keep up your cheese molecules

so you can get your strength back.

Enough with the melodrama.

I'm sorry, Murph. It's just,

ever since my brother, Weezer,

got shipped to that foster home

you're all I got.

Oh, Peez, come on. Don't start

feeling sorry for yourself again.

You think you're the only kid in the world

who ever watched his parents drown,

then got sent to an orphanage,

then a couple of weeks later

had his only brother dragged away

kicking and screaming? Dude, it happens.

Yeah, I know I'm being a wuss again.

Look, Peez, I'm not going anywhere.

You and me, we're family now.

We're BFFs forever.

Just like Moe, Larry and Curly.

Where's Curly with that saw?

How should I know?

Well, come on, let's try to

pry this thing off.

- All right.

- We'll get this done the right way.

- Yeah.

- Watch yourself. Wedge it.

We're getting nowhere fast. Wait a minute.

Hey, mongoose, grab that sledgehammer.

On the count of three

hit down on this thing.

You got it.

Starting to get

a half a brain in my skull here.

One, two, three.

Sorry, Moe,

it was an honest mistake, honest!

Oh, that's okay, kid.

Mistakes can

happen in the best of families.

This sledgehammer

is probably just a tad off-kilter.

- Yeah, it did feel a little funny.

- Here, let me have a look.

- Yeah, I know what you...

- Ow! My neck!

- How do you feel now?

- All right.

That's good.

Come on, what's a matter with you?

Quit wasting time.

And there's nothing else we can do?

I'm afraid not.

Please send for Moe, Larry and Curly.

I better give them the news first.

Yes, Mother Superior.

I hope you're also going to tell them

who's responsible for this.

Oh, let's not play the blame game, Sister.

I'll just tell them what they need to know.

Ah! Ah!

Ah!

- I got the saw, Moe.

- Yeah, well, you're too late...

What's a matter with you?

You trying to hurt someone? Why you...

Oh, look.

- Now look what you did.

- It's not my fault.

It was a chain reaction on the saw.

See? Saw.

Oh, a punster, eh? Where's that hammer?

- No.

- Where's that hammer?

Give it to me.

No, Moe, please! Oh, Moe!

Oh, boys.

No, no, Moe! I'm a victim of circumstance!

I'll circumstance you!

Those morons.

Why you!

What the...

Hey! Quit horsing around, you two.

You're disturbing my coffee break.

Oh, boy, donuts! Where's mine?

They're small.

- Why don't you have two?

- Okay.

Ah!

Now look what you did, Moe!

You got donut stuck in my ears.

Hey, you're in luck.

They got a donut remover right here.

- What's a donut remover?

- It's one of these.

"Donut Remove-uh. "

- Huh. What are the odds of that?

Hey, mugwumps!

Mother Superior is looking for you.

Here, let me get it for you.

Uh-oh! Is that Sister Mary-Mengele?

I don't know, but the face rings a bell.

Remind me

to gouge your eyeballs out later.

Don't move a muscle, Sis,

we'll be right there.

- Come on. Get going.

- Be careful.

Here we go.

Whoa! Whoa!

Hey, Moe. Hey, Larry.

Fellas, do something!

Moe. Moe!

What's a matter with...

Call 411!

Quick! Help me move Sister M and M

before chowder-head crushes her.

Come on.

Come on, you!

You, help out. You, grab that bucket,

splash some water on her.

Oh!

See, I told you

there's too much iron in the water.

Speak to me, Sis. Say a few parables.

I save 15% on my car insurance.

She seems fine to me.

Come on,

let's go see what Mother Superior wants.

Hey, look!

Some wise guy is roughing up the sisters.

Why you!

Come on.

Picking on girls, eh?

How do you like that, pretty boy?

You think you're pretty smooth, huh?

Squish! Squish! Squish!

Get off of him!

Oh, I'm so sorry. Oh, I'm so sorry!

Oopsie-daisy!

Oh, I'm so sorry.

What are you doing?

We caught this lounge lizard

getting all handsy with the nuns.

This is no lounge lizard!

He's here on official business.

Official business? Why didn't you say so?

Pick me, I'll clip your hedges.

- I'll hedge your clippers.

- I'll fetch your slippers.

I'll scrub the stench

right off them dentures.

You idiots!

I'm not here to adopt!

This is Monsignor Ratliffe from the diocese.

Oh, sorry about that, Seor Ratlips.

Children, Sisters, everyone,

please gather round.

I have an announcement to make.

Oh! Are we getting pizza?

Come, come.

Pull it in.

I'm sorry to have to tell you all this,

but due to the recent economic downturn

and some unforeseen expenses

the orphanage will be forced to close down

at the end of the month.

But what's going to happen to the children?

And us.

Well, you sisters

will be spread around the diocese

and the children

will be sent to foster homes.

Oh, boy, Foster's.

That's Australian for beer.

Would you like that in a bottle or a mug?

- I'll take it in a mug.

- You got it.

Foster home?

Forget it! I'm not going to end up

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