Nothing Page #2

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- Never touched her!

What's this?

Yeah, that's what I thought.

Come on, honey.

- Andrew!

[Door closes]

Andrew?

Andrew!

Andrew?

Andrew!

- Oh!

Dave!

What are you doing here?

- I came to apologize, OK?

I'm an idiot.

You're not the reason

my life sucks. They are.

It's always been them.

Here's what I think we should do.

[Traffic]

Here's what I think we should do!

[Traffic]

We're gonna sell the house,

we're gonna take the money,

and we are gonna disappear!

- Where will we go?

- I don't know. Greece!

Spain!

Sernftal-Bahn Glannerland!

Where ever you want!

As long as it's far enough

so no one can bother us.

- What about Sarah?

- She dumped me.

- Oh.

I'm sorry.

- Yeah. So what do you say?

- I can't!

You know I can't!

- Yes, you can. You have to!

Come on,

this place is killing us.

- I don't know.

It's not that bad.

[Traffic]

Wha...? Is that a noose?

- Heh!

- What do you think, huh?

- Shouldn't we call

a real-estate agent or something?

- Screw that!

They just do what we did.

Put an ad in the paper

and a sign on the lawn.

This is much quicker and they don't

get a piece of our pie.

All we have to do now is sit back

and watch the place sell itself.

What's going on up here?

Come on!

Packy-packy!

- I don't know if I can do this.

- Sure you can.

Think about it.

Stretches of empty beaches

going on for miles and miles.

No phones, no cars, no freeways,

no people. No one at all.

Is this your suit?

Well, we'll get you a new one

when we get there, huh?

[Doorbell]

OK?

You're here about the house.

- As a matter of fact, I am.

- Newspaper ad, or the sign?

- The newspaper, actually.

This is for you.

- So you've already

written a number down

on a piece of paper?

Why don't you take a look at

the offer, see if it's acceptable.

- Oh my God!

- That good, huh?

Let me see.

What the hell is this?

- It's a notice of demolition.

You have to vacate these premises

or be forcibly removed.

- What? Why?

- We're tearing it down.

- The house?

- Who's "we"?

- The city, in accordance

with Section 37, Bylaw 3t 5,

which states that no area may be

zoned for residential purposes

within 100 yards of a freeway.

This house can't be here.

- But it is here.

- But not for long.

- This is my house!

You can't just take it away!

- Not without paying for it.

- We would pay for it...

- Right.

- But our records say

this address doesn't exist.

- Of course it exists!

- Not according

to our records, see?

- Well, if it doesn't exist,

how can you tear it down?

- Because it's in violation

of Section 37, Bylaw 315!

You have until 3:00!

- Today?

You can't do this!

- Sir, this house is a hazard

to vehicular traffic.

It has to go.

- Oh...

Maybe we should call a lawyer.

- Don't be stupid!

- Or...

I don't know. Uh...

Sorry.

[Phone rings]

- Don't answer it!

It's probably them!

- What are we gonna do?

- I don't know. I'm thinking!

[Doorbell]

It's not 3:
00.

- It's not 3:
00! It's not 3:00!

[Phone and doorbell]

- Stupid pencil-pushing bureaucrats!

Listen, pal!

- We're here

to tear down your house.

You ladies got any beer?

- No. And if I did,

I wouldn't give you any!

Can you believe that guy?

[Phone]

Don't answer it!

[Doorbell]

Listen, pal!

- Dave Johnson?

- Yes?

- You're under arrest.

For embezzlement.

- Oh. Hang on a sec,

let me just get my horse.

Sh*t!

- Embezzlement?

[Phone]

- It's nothing.

- This is the police!

Come out of the house!

- Sh*t! Sh*t!

- What'll you do?

- I don't know! I'm thinking!

- We know you're in there, Andrew.

- What did you do?

- Nothing!

- This guy is going to rot

in f***ing hell!

- I didn't kiss her!

I didn't kiss anybody!

- Fire!

[Phone ringing]

[Coughing]

[Doorbell]

- Stan!

It's OK, Stan.

[Coughing]

- Sh*t!

[Knocking]

- Oh!

[Banging]

[Both]:
It's not 3:00!

- This is

the Department of Housing.

This house is in violation of...

[coughing]

[Screaming]

- Why are you doing this?!

Why won't you leave us alone?!

Leave us alone!

[Coughing]

What the hell's going on?

- I don't know.

[Coughs]

- What are you doing?

Dave, what are you doing?

[Coughs]

What are you doing?!

- Shhh!

- What?

What is it?

- Oh my God!

- What's the matter?

- I think you'd better look at this.

- Oh my God!

What is it?

- I don't know.

- What is it?

- I don't know!

[Panting]

- What are you doing?

Dave, what the hell are you doing?

You don't know what's out there!

You don't know anything!

Dave!

Dave!

Answer me!

Dave?

- Ugh!

[Sproing!]

- What the hell is it?

Yes! That's it! The news!

They'll tell us what's happening!

- What channel is CNN?

- Uh...

I don't know. I don't know!

Why aren't they interrupting this sh*t

to tell us what's going on?

- Maybe they're not

because they're all dead!

- Hey! Let's not jump to conclusions.

We don't know anything.

For all we know,

this could just be on our street.

- OK, fine! Then where's

everybody on our street?

Are they dead?

- I don't know!

I'm trying to find out!

- Oh my God! Maybe we're dead!

Yes! That's it! It's us!

It's you and me!

We're the ones who are dead!

- Andrew! We can't be dead!

We have cable!

Dead.

- I knew it!

- Not us. It.

- How long do you think you'll be?

- I don't know. As long as it takes.

- An hour?

A day? A week?

- Andrew, I don't know.

All I know is I gotta go out there

and find someone or something,

'cause the food we've got

isn't gonna last.

And if we sit around doing

nothing, we're gonna die.

- Maybe it'll all just come back?

- That's not a chance

I'm willing to take.

These things,

supposed to work up to 2 miles.

I'm hoping with nothing

to obscure the signal,

we'll get a lot more.

You've got to monitor

my transmissions at all times.

If I get in trouble out there,

you're my lifeline

back here at home base.

Over.

- What kind of trouble?

What kind of trouble?!

What kind of trouble? Over.

- I don't know.

I have no idea what's out there

and I'm not taking any chances.

I've got be prepared for anything.

Over.

All right.

Ah!

- Are you OK? Over!

- I'm OK. Over.

- Oh...

- Whoa.

Hold down the fort.

Over.

- Bye. Over.

- Bye. Over.

- Good luck! Over.

Be careful!

Over.

Ah! Ooh! Ah!

Dave? Over.

- Yeah? Over.

- Wait up.

Over.

- 7:
00.

Been walking for 2 and a half hours.

Still no sign of anything.

No people or signs of people.

No animals or signs of animals.

No anything.

As far as the surface goes, it's...

[sproing!]

It's kind of bouncy. It's like...

- Tofu.

- What?

- Tofu.

I've never actually had it,

but I think maybe this is what

it would feel like to walk on.

[Sproing!]

- You're right.

The nothingness looks,

feels and bounces like tofu.

Which, ironically,

tastes like nothing.

- I'm getting hungry.

- No food for another 2 hours!

We've been walking for 34 hours.

And yet, I'm still unable

to determine

where the light is coming from.

The sun, the moon,

from above, from beneath?

- Why don't you tell them

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