Nothing in Common Page #5

them for me? I don't want them.

I don't want to have to

carry ducks on the plane.

Here's a little something to make

your city friends envious.

- Oh, whoa, thank you.

- Enjoy those.

Great.

Great.

You know, you have

a beautiful farm here.

I love the ducks and

particularly the horses.

I was reading how the

stallion is responsible

for 60 percent of the characteristics

of the offspring.

But the mares are responsible

for 40 percent of the get's traits.

At least, according to Tesio,

who I guess is the real expert.

You read Tesio?

As a hobby.

Sometimes.

Tell your boss Colonial Airlines

will look at your presentation.

Memo to David Basner:

The date is set to present ideas

for the Colonial Airlines commercial.

You and your staff have two weeks

to come up with greatness.

I want that account, David.

Signed:

John, Paul, George and Ringo.

Okay, okay, okay.

Possibility.

Mishi, what do you got?

How about this?

You've got Colonial Airline, right?

"Co" stands for cooperation.

Cooperation.

"Lo" means you're never

gonna be lonely on the plane.

"Ni," you have plenty

of room for your knees.

And "ial," y'all have a good time.

Colonial.

- No, no, no.

- Come on, give it a chance.

"At Colonial Airlines you don't have

to worry about getting hijacked.

We only have enough fuel

to get to our destination. "

- Colonial moves people.

- Moves the family.

The family thing's the idea.

I understand that.

It's a good concept.

Now, this is funny.

You're not gonna laugh at work,

but on the way home you're

gonna be cracking up.

They're flying all

over the country.

Brother, tell us how your

life has been shattered,

since you turned away from Colonial

and put faith in other airlines.

I was lost, I had no leg room.

I had no pillow.

I couldn't even smoke.

So board me,

and feel the experience.

Fly Colonial Airlines.

- You're an airplane?

- What do you think?

Anybody wanna board Mishi?

- No.

- We need a grandma.

You said something

about a grandma.

One, two, three, four.

When you're on an airplane

In a big and comfy seat

The fellow sitting next to you

Is one Arab Sheik

When you're flying to the sky

You're getting high

You're flying on Colonial

And that's no jive

Can't we do this

in your office?

When you hit a dry spot, you come

back to where you were hottest.

All right,

let's spin the art director.

Colonial Airlines

Colonial

Airlines

I like it.

It's kind of bluesy.

- You know what it is?

- It's a lousy idea.

But imagine if we use something

like this instead of slide show.

Yeah, real people.

Chances are this guy's having

countless agencies.

Look at a screen for

an hour and a half.

- They're sick of that.

- We have real people.

Anti-high tech, I love it.

That's right. Live people,

a live presentation.

No gimmicks, no laser beams,

none of that. Anti-high tech.

Hugs the grandchildren.

Hugs the...

Hugs the special...

Special kids.

Yeah, holds them.

Hugs her special kids.

Get out of here.

I'm in pre-game.

Oh, I just came by

to wish you luck.

You're mighty hard

to get a hold of.

I think about you every time

I see a mounted policeman.

- It would be unfair to the competition.

- I was worried about them too.

So, what happens if I get this

and we work together?

I think it'd be terrific.

We'll handle it.

- The perfect executives?

- We'd make a good team.

You know, I sense that,

but I don't know why.

You see something

in me you really like.

You see you.

I'll see you inside.

Batman.

We're ready to start,

Mr. Woolridge.

We're all set.

Good morning.

Our market research

shows that Colonial Airlines

is already getting its

share of business fliers.

Where there's room for improvement

is with the occasional traveler:

The family trade.

Now, we've come up with a campaign

that we feel targets this market.

Picture this:

A kindly old grandmother sits

in her house doing needlepoint.

Another day, another afghan.

A hot cup of tea sits

beside her on a table.

- An afghan is tucked around

her legs. - That's nice.

The phone rings.

- Brrrrng.

- Hello?

- Hello, Mom.

- It's a bad connection.

Hey, it's Grandma.

Tell her I hit my first homer.

- Mom, come up for a couple

of weeks. - That'd be great.

We see Grandma board

a Colonial airliner,

where she is made

very comfortable.

- You comfortable, ma'am?

- Oh. Call me Hattie.

All right.

- They compare needlepoint.

- Look here, honey.

The stewardess tucks

a blanket around her.

- Thank you. - And brings

her a nice hot cup of tea.

Grandma feels so at home she chats

with some of the other passengers.

Hi there.

Well actually Grandma in Bombay,

I was an internist.

I'm on my way to Toledo

for a convention.

The plane lands.

At another airport, we see chauffeurs

holding signs with names of clients.

Is there a Mr. T. Jones here?

Looking for Gonzalez over here.

- What? - A boy holds a

sign that says simply:

- Grandma.

- Jimmy.

We witness a family reunion.

- Mom, it's so nice to see you.

- She look great Grandma.

How you've grown.

As does the Colonial stewardess

who can't help but smile.

- Bye, Hattie. - Tell your

mom about lemon for colds.

- See you in Toledo.

- Bombay.

- Caracas.

- Where?

We cut to an armchair where

Grandma sits with those kids.

- Warm enough?

- I love you.

Her daughter brings

her a cup of tea.

- Here's some tea, Mom.

- You call me Hattie.

Grandma puts down that needlepoint

and hugs those special kids.

- We're so glad you came.

- Thanks, Grandma.

We dissolve to the Colonial airliner

flying off into a glorious red sunset.

And we hear:

From your home,

to our home,

to their home.

Colonial Airlines,

your home in the skies.

Do you have anything else,

David?

Yes, but we're staying with this.

This is our strongest concept.

Who got an airline?

I got an airline.

- You. I want to talk to you.

- Wait a minute.

- Who got it?

- Not on the grass.

Don't get up.

Standing ovation.

Everyone knows

I got an airline.

You got it.

Congratulations.

- Don't I get a hug?

- That's a friend of mine.

- But I deserve congratulations too.

- Why?

Remember that grant I applied

for about a month ago?

They called me this

morning and I got it.

That's great.

How much?

Not a lot, but enough to produce

plays at the Gemini Theater.

- The garage?

- We're converting it.

This is what the world needs:

more theater in a garage.

I'll take you out. We'll both celebrate,

very expensive, snazzy dinner.

I can't take long.

- You can't park on the lawn.

- We're moving it right now.

This is a 4-wheel drive.

I couldn't find a place to park.

- Who's he?

- That's the dean of parking.

Oh. Who?

That's my boss, Dean Wood.

Wait.

Robert, I'll call you, okay?

- Bye-bye.

- So long, Robin.

Welcome to the 10th Fashion Show

for young lads and little misses.

Hey.

The Campbell brothers.

Here.

Have a personal pen

from Max Basner.

Can't you see?

When this is over,

come up and we'll talk.

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