Nothing to Lose Page #2

- What you doin', man? That was money.

- Oh, I'm sorry. I got

something else for you.

I'm blind!

I can't see sh*t.

The honeys dug my eyes.

The honeys loved my eyes.

All right, you win, man. All right?

Is that what you wanna hear? You win.

What the f***?

No, you ain't one

of them desert slashers, are you?

Cut a person body up and

leave it out in the desert

in little tiny pieces and sh*t, huh?

Oh, sh*t!

We are in the f***ing desert.

I'm in the car with a psycho,

freaky, Jason hack-killer motherf***er.

Hey, please don't kill me,

freaky Jason.

I said, please don't kill me,

freaky Jason.

I done f***ed around and caught

a ride with the wrong white boy!

- Get out.

- With pleasure.

"Sayo-f***in'-nara," pal.

I can't feel my ass.

My ass just fell asleep.

I didn't even know

an ass could fall asleep!

It's all tingly and sh*t!

Come on, man.

You can't leave me out here.

Yo, man! You can't

Just leave me out here.

Okay, I'll make

a deal with you.

You drive me home, I'll forget

about this whole kidnapping sh*t.

Oh, come on.

Hello. You tried to rob me.

You had a gun to my head.

Look, I told you

the gun wasn't loaded.

You got yourself into this.

You know what you are? You're

a bad person. You're an armed robber.

Don't expect me

to feel sorry for you.

Excuse me.

Is there a problem here?

- Yes.

- Is this man botherin' you?

- Yes, he is.

- Oh, so you're just gonna come

right at the brother.

Why don't you ask

if he's bothering me?

Lady, for all you know,

I could be Denzel Washington.

Take a good look.

He could be some

celebrity stalker.

I'm gonna have to ask you

to pay for this coffee now...

'cause I've seen these things

escalate before.

No problem. My wallet.

Wow! Looks like the celebrity stalker

don't have a wallet.

Oh, well, thank you.

I will get your change, sir.

What? You want me to thank you?

So I owe you a buck.

How was you goin' to get gas? You don't

have no money, no credit cards.

No I.D.

Sh*t, man.

Okay. All right.

You give me money for gas

and I'll take you back.

I'm cool. I'm...

I'm straight.

As a matter of fact, l... you know,

I like it out here in the desert.

You know, you get

all sweaty and sh*t.

Just bubbling off your ass.

Just... What?

I just remembered.

I have a spare credit card

in the side compartment.

Uh-huh, right here!

What's up?

What's up, white boy?

W-W-What's up, huh?

Come on, come on.

What ya got?

Huh? Look at you. You done

f***ed around and got dropped.

Get the f*** outta here.

- What?

- You hit like a ole girl, man.

Get the f*** on out of here, man.

Go about your business.

Motherf...

What the hell is this,

your merry-go-round move?

Yo, I understand.

Aha!

Thank you.

Hey. Oh, sh*t.

I didn't know it was expired.

I never use it.

So why are you out here?

- What do you care?

- I'm curious.

I'm a student

of human nature.

You're a freak

of human nature.

That's all right.

I forgive you.

It's clear you have

woman problems.

You're way off base.

- I'm off base?

- Yeah. Way off base.

- She mess around on you?

- Look.

Even if I wanted to talk about it...

which I don't... it wouldn't be with you.

You give her some nastiness? I know you

gave her some serious nastiness.

- Just forget it.

- What about him? Did you f*** him up?

Did you whoop his ass? I bet you hit

that motherf***er with a bat, didn't ya?

Kling! Pow! F***ed his ass up,

didn't ya?

No, wait a minute. You capped him. You

capped that motherf***er, didn't you?

That's why you out here

in the desert, ain't ya?

Look. I didn't shoot him. I didn't say

anything to my wife. I just left.

- What do you mean, you just left?

- Just left. L...

I saw them doing you know...

and I walked away.

What a p*ssy.

No wonder your woman

is sneaking behind your back, man.

Know what your problem is? You don't

have the respect of your woman, man.

That's what it is.

Me, I got all that.

I go home, my dinner's

on the table.

Bam! I don't wanna

hear sh*t, woman.

- And if I want lovin'... if I'm

in the mood... I get that too.

- You're so full of sh*t.

What would you have done?

Man, I would have went back

to that house and I'd have pulled

a Terminator on the front door.

Boom, boom, boom!

Who the f*** do you

think you're playin' with, woman?

Who do you think I am, some fruity pie?

I ain't no fruity pie.

I'm... I'm Nick Beam.

That's what I told her.

I'm Nick Beam.

And Nick Beam ain't puttin' up

with that bullshit.

She'd have been crying, you know? "Oh,

Nick, oh, Nick, please take me back.

Please, please, Nick.

It was only one time."

I'm gonna "one time" your ass.

Nick Beam is the master of his fate...

the ruler of his destiny.

So if you wanna cry

on somebody's shoulder,

why don't you cry on Superdick?

As for Nick Beam,

I'm ft, lit...

and I damn sure

ain't takin' no sh*t.

So you can get the f*** out.

That's what I woulda

told the b*tch.

That's what I

told the b*tch.

- What the...

- Hey, hold it. Hold it.

Break it up. Break it up.

What's goin' on here?

Should I pay cash, or do you

wanna use your credit card?

Ah, fu... Oh... Ah...

Oh, sh*t.

- Put the money in the bag.

Put the money in the f***in' bag!

- Okay.

- Sh*t.

- Let's go! Put the money

in the f***in' bag.

Sh*t.

You weren't gonna leave

without me, were you?

- What do you think you're doing?

- There's a special they got goin' on.

You get a free stack of cash

with every fll-up. Some luck, huh?

How stupid can you be?

- We better get out of here.

- You take that money back.

- I'm serious, man. We better get goin'.

- We'll get goin' as soon you

bring back that money.

- I'm not bullshittin'! Move out!

- I'm not going anywhere

until you return...

Here we go.

- Why? Why? Why?

- I didn't have any money, man.

- Oh, you had money.

- No. No. That fve dollars

I gave the waitress was it.

- What the...

- Oh, great. Buford's come to kill us.

- Persistent hillbilly motherf***er.

- He has every right to be.

You robbed him at gunpoint.

You dick!

Hey, hey, you're the one who threw

the wallet out the f***in' window.

Smart.

Great!

Oh, sh*t.

- All right, man. What you doin'?

- Come on, a**hole.

Well, would you look

at these crazy sons a b*tches?

Oh, sh*t. We gonna die.

Pull off the f***in' road.

Man, would you pull

off the f***in' road!

Oh, sh*t!

- Oh, sh*t!

- Oh, sh*t.

Hey, Earl.

Oh, sh...

I'm alive! You alive!

How'd you know that hillbilly

was gonna turn frst?

You did know he was gonna

turn frst, didn't ya?

You know what?

It don't even matter.

I'm alive!

You alive, man!

- Get out!

- What?

- Get out!

It's not even loaded,

remember?

What are you even thinking when

you do something like that?

- You think you're never

gonna get caught?

- We didn't get caught.

That's not the point.

It's beetleheaded.

It's... It's only a matter of time

before you do get caught.

- What is beetleheaded?

- It's a synonym for "stupid."

Oh. Well, here's a synonym

for "procreation." F*** you!

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