Notting Hill Page #13

WILLIAM:

What's the thing?

Then the door pings. In walks the annoying customer, Mr. Smith.

WILLIAM:

Don't even think about it. Go away

immediately.

Mr. Smith is taken aback and therefore completely obedient.

MR. SMITH

Right. Sorry.

And he leaves.

WILLIAM:

You were saying...

ANNA:

Yes. The thing is... I have to go away

today but I wondered, if I didn't,

whether you might let me see you a bit...

or, a lot maybe... see if you could...

like me again.

Pause as William takes this in.

WILLIAM:

But yesterday... that actor asked you

who I was... and you just dismissed me

out of hand... I heard -- you had a

microphone... I had headphones.

ANNA:

You expect me to tell the truth about my

life to the most indiscreet man in

England?

Martin edges up.

MARTIN:

Excuse me -- it's your mother on the

phone.

WILLIAM:

Can you tell her I'll ring her back.

MARTIN:

I actually tried that tack -- but she

said you said that before and it's been

twenty-four hours, and her foot that

was purple is now a sort of blackish

color...

WILLIAM:

Okay -- perfect timing as ever -- hold

the fort for a second will you, Martin?

Martin is left with Anna.

MARTIN:

Can I just say, I thought 'Ghost' was a

wonderful film.

ANNA:

Is that right?

MARTIN:

Yes... I've always wondered what

Patrick Swayze is like in real life.

ANNA:

I can't say I know Patrick all that

well.

MARTIN:

Oh dear. He wasn't friendly during the

filming?

ANNA:

Well, no -- I'm sure he was friendly --

to Demi Moore -- who acted with him in

'Ghost.'

She's kind in here, not sarcastic.

MARTIN:

Oh right. Right. Sorry. Always been

a bit of an ass.

William returns a little uneasy.

MARTIN:

Anyway... it's lovely to meet you. I'm

a great fan of yours. And Demi's, of

course.

Martin leaves them.

WILLIAM:

Sorry about that.

ANNA:

That's fine. There's always a pause

when the jury goes out to consider its

verdict.

She's awaiting an answer.

WILLIAM:

Anna. Look -- I'm a fairly level-

headed bloke. Not often in and out of

love. But...

He can't really express what he feels.

WILLIAM:

... can I just say 'no' to your kind

request and leave it at that?

ANNA:

... Yes, that's fine. Of course. I...

you know... of course... I'll just...

be getting along then... nice to see

you.

WILLIAM:

The truth is...

He feels he must explain.

WILLIAM:

... with you, I'm in real danger. It

took like a perfect situation, apart

from that foul temper of yours -- but my

relatively inexperienced heart would,

I fear, not recover if I was once again

... cast aside, which I would

absolutely expect to be. There are too

many pictures of you everywhere, too

many films. You'd go and I'd be...

well, buggered, basically.

ANNA:

I see.

(pause)

That reality is a real 'no,' isn't it?

WILLIAM:

I live in Notting Hill. You live in

Beverly Hills. Everyone in the world

knows who you are. My mother has

trouble remembering my name.

ANNA:

Okay. Fine. Fine. Good decision.

Pause.

ANNA:

The fame thing isn't really real, you

know. Don't forget -- I'm also just a

girl. Standing in front of a boy.

Asking him to love her.

Pause. She kisses him on the cheek.

ANNA:

Bye.

Then turns and leaves. Leaving him.

INT. TONY'S RESTAURANT - DAY

The restaurant is in the middle of being deconstructed. The

pictures are gone off the walls -- a kettle on a long extension

lead is on the bare table behind. They're all sitting there.

WILLIAM:

What do you think? Good move?

HONEY:

Good move:
when all is said and done,

she's nothing special. I saw her

taking her pants off and I definitely

glimpsed some cellulite down there.

BELLA:

Good decision. All actresses are mad

as snakes.

WILLIAM:

Tony -- what do you think?

TONY:

Never met her, never want to.

WILLIAM:

Brilliant. Max?

MAX:

Absolutely. Never trust a vegetarian.

WILLIAM:

Great. Excellent. Thanks.

Spike enters.

SPIKE:

I was called and I came. What's up?

HONEY:

William has just turned down Anna Scott.

SPIKE:

You daft prick!

Bella is casually looking at the painting that sits beside

William. It is the original of the Chagall, the poster of which

was on his wall.

BELLA:

This painting isn't the original, is

it?

WILLIAM:

Yes, I think that one may be.

BERNIE:

But she said she wanted to go out with

you?

WILLIAM:

Yes -- sort of...

BERNIE:

That's nice.

WILLIAM:

What?

BERNIE:

Well, you know, anybody saying they

want to go out with you is... pretty

great... isn't it...

WILLIAM:

It was sort of sweet actually -- I mean,

I know she's an actress and all that, so

she can deliver a line -- but she said

that she might be as famous as can be --

but also... that she was just a girl,

standing in front of a boy, asking him

to love her.

They take in the line. It totally reverses their attitudes.

A pause.

WILLIAM:

Oh sod a dog. I've made the wrong

decision, haven't I?

They look at him. Spike does a big nod.

WILLIAM:

Max, how fast is your car?

EXT. TONY'S RESTAURANT - DAY

Max's car arrives in the street outside. They pile into the

car.

MAX:

If anyone gets in our way -- we have

small nuclear devices.

BERNIE:

And we intend to use them!

MAX:

Where's Bella?

HONEY:

She's not coming.

MAX:

Sod that. Bernie -- in the back!

He shoots out of his door, rushes round and grabs Bella out of

the chair.

MAX:

Come on, babe.

EXT./INT. CAR. STANLEY CRESCENT/NOTTING HILL GATE - DAY

Max's car is shooting up Stanley Crescent. We are inside and

outside the car.

BELLA:

Where are you going?

MAX:

Down Kensington Church Street, then

Knightsbridge, then Hyde Park Corner.

BELLA:

Crazy. Go along Bayswater...

HONEY:

That's right -- then Park Lane.

BERNIE:

Or you could go right down to Cromwell

Road, and left.

WILLIAM:

No!

Suddenly the car slams to a halt.

MAX:

Stop right there! I will decide the

route. All right?

ALL:

All right.

MAX:

James Bond never has to put up with this

sort of sh*t.

EXT. PICCADILLY - DAY

The car turns illegally right across Piccadilly the wrong way

down a one-way street and ends up outside the Ritz. William

sprints into the hotel. Bernie follows.

BERNIE:

Bloody hell, this is fun.

IT. RITZ LOBBY - DAY

WILLIAM:

Is Miss Scott staying here?

It is the same man.

RITZ MAN:

No, sir.

WILLIAM:

How about Miss Flintstone?

RITZ MAN:

No, sir.

WILLIAM:

Or Bambi... or, I don't know, Beavis or

Butthead?

Man shakes his head.

RITZ MAN:

No, sir.

WILLIAM:

Right. Right. Fair enough. Thanks.

He turns despondent and takes two steps when the Ritz Man stops

him in his tracks.

RITZ MAN:

There was a Miss Pocahontas in room 126

-- but she checked out an hour ago. I

believe she's holding a press

conference at The Savoy before flying to

America.

William is very grateful. He kisses the Ritz Man. Bernie's also

gratuful. He kisses him too.

BERNIE:

We have lift off!!

A Japanese guest assumes this is the way to behave and the Ritz

Man gets kissed a third time.

EXT. LONDON STREET - DAY

The car speeds through London. It gets totally stuck at a

junction where no one will let them in.

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