Notting Hill Page #3

Suddenly there is a clicking of a key in the lock.

WILLIAM:

Oh my God. My flatmate. I'm sorry --

there's no excuse for him.

Spike walks in.

SPIKE:

Hi.

ANNA:

Hi.

WILLIAM:

Hi.

Spike walks past unsuspiciously and heads into the kitchen.

SPIKE:

I'm just going to go into the kitchen

to get some food -- and then I'm going

to tell you a story that will make your

balls shrink to the size of raisins.

And leaves them in the corridor.

ANNA:

Probably best not tell anyone about

this.

WILLIAM:

Right. No one. I mean, I'll tell

myself sometimes but... don't worry

-- I won't believe it.

ANNA:

Bye.

And she leaves, with just a touch of William's hand. Spike

comes out of the kitchen, eating something white out of a

styrofoam container with a spoon.

SPIKE:

There's something wrong with this

yogurt.

WILLIAM:

It's not yogurt -- it's mayonnaise.

SPIKE:

Well, there you go.

(takes another big spoonful)

On for a video fest tonight? I've

got some absolute classic.

INT. WILLIAM'S LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

The lights are off. William and Spike on the couch, just the

light from the TV playing on their faces. Cut to the TV full

screen. There is Anna. She is in a stylish Woody Allen type

modern romantic comedy, 'Gramercy Park,' in black and white.

INT. MANHATTAN ART GALLERY - DAY

Anna's character -- Woody Anna -- is walking around the gallery

with her famous co-star, Michael. They should be the perfect

couple, but there is tension. Anna is not happy.

MICHAEL:

Smile.

ANNA:

No.

MICHAEL:

Smile.

ANNA:

I've got nothing to smile about.

MICHAEL:

Okay in about 7 seconds, I'm going to

ask you to marry me.

And after a couple of seconds -- wow -- she smiles.

INT. WILLIAM'S LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

SPIKE:

Imagine -- somewhere in the world

there's a man who's allowed to kiss

her.

WILLIAM:

Yes, she is fairly fabulous.

INT. BOOKSHOP - DAY

The next day. William and Martin quietly co-existing. An annoy-

ing customer enters. Mr. Smith.

MR. SMITH

Do you have any books by Dickens?

WILLIAM:

No, we're a travel bookshop. We only

sell travel books.

MR. SMITH

Oh right. How about that new John

Grisham thriller?

WILLIAM:

No, that's a novel too.

MR. SMITH

Oh right. Have you got a copy of

'Winnie the Pooh'?

Pause.

WILLIAM:

Martin -- your customer.

MARTIN:

Can I help you?

William looks up. At that moment the entire window is suddenly

taken up by the huge side of a bus, obscuring the light -- and

entirely covered with a portrait of Anna -- from her new film,

'Helix.'

INT. WILLIAM'S HOUSE - CONDOR/LIVING ROOM - DAY

William heads upstairs and pauses. Spike coming down, wearing

full body scuba diving gear.

SPIKE:

Hey.

WILLIAM:

Hi...

INT. WILLIAM'S KITCHEN - DAY

The two of them fixing a cup of tea in the kitchen.

WILLIAM:

Just incidentally -- why are you

wearing that?

SPIKE:

Ahm -- combination of factors really.

No clean clothes...

WILLIAM:

There never will be, you know, unless

you actually clean your clothes.

SPIKE:

Right. Vicious circle. And then I was

like rooting around in your things,

and found this, and I thought -- cool.

Kind of spacey.

EXT. WILLIAM'S TERRACE - DAY

The two of them on the rooftop terrace, passing the day.

William is reading 'The bookseller.' The terrace is small and

the plants aren't great -- but it overlooks London in a rather

wonderful way. Spike still in scuba gear, goggles on.

SPIKE:

There's something wrong with the

goggles though...

WILLIAM:

No, they were prescription, so I could

see all the fishes properly.

SPIKE:

Groovy. You should do more of this

stuff.

WILLIAM:

So -- any messages?

SPIKE:

Yeh, I wrote a couple down.

WILLIAM:

Two? That's it?

SPIKE:

You want me to write down all your

messages?

William closes his eyes in exasperation.

WILLIAM:

Who were the ones you didn't write

down from?

SPIKE:

Ahm let's see -- ahm. No. Gone

completely. Oh no, wait. There was --

one from your mum: she said don't

forget lunch and her leg's hurting

again.

WILLIAM:

Right. No one else?

SPIKE:

Absolutely not.

Spike leans back and relaxes.

SPIKE:

Though if we're going for this

obsessive writing-down-all-messages

thing -- some American girl called

Anna called a few days ago.

William freezes -- then looks at Spike.

WILLIAM:

What did she say?

SPIKE:

Well, it was genuinely bizarre...

she said, hi -- it's Anna -- and then

she said, call me at the Ritz -- and

then gave herself a completely

different name.

WILLIAM:

Which was?

SPIKE:

Absolutely no idea. Remembering one

name's bad enough...

INT. WILLIAM'S LIVING ROOM - DAY

William on the phone. We hear the formal man at the other end of

the phone. And then intercut with him.

WILLIAM:

Hello.

RITZ MAN (V.O.)

May I help you, sir?

WILLIAM:

Ahm, look this is a very odd

situation. I'm a friend of Anna

Scott's -- and she rang me at home the

day before yesterday -- and left a

message saying she's staying with

you...

INT. RITZ RECEPTION - DAY

RITZ MAN:

I'm sorry, we don't have anyone of

that name here, sir.

WILLIAM:

No, that's right -- I know that. She

said she's using another name -- but

the problem is she left the message

with my flatmate, which was a serious

mistake.

INT. WILLIAM'S LIVING ROOM

WILLIAM (cont'd)

Imagine if you will the stupidest

person you've ever met -- are you

doing that...?

Spike happens to be in the foreground of this shot. He's read-

ing a newspaper.

RITZ MAN:

Yes, sir. I have him in my mind.

WILLIAM:

And then double it -- and that is the

-- what can I say -- git I'm living

with and he cannot remember...

SPIKE:

Try 'Flintstone.'

WILLIAM:

(to Spike)

What?

SPIKE:

I think she said her name was

'Flintstone.'

WILLIAM:

Does 'Flintstone' mean anything to

you?

RITZ MAN:

I'll put you right through, sir.

Flintstone is indeed the magic word.

WILLIAM:

Oh my God.

He practices how to sound.

WILLIAM:

Hello. Hi. Hi.

ANNA (V.O.)

Hi.

We hear her voice -- don't see her.

WILLIAM:

(caught out)

Oh hi. It's William Thacker. We,

ahm I work in a bookshop.

ANNA (V.O.)

You played it pretty cool here,

waiting for three days to call.

WILLIAM:

No, I've never played anything cool

in my entire life. Spike, who I'll

stab to death later, never gave me the

message.

ANNA (V.O.)

Oh -- Okay.

WILLIAM:

Perhaps I could drop round for tea or

something?

ANNA (V.O.)

Yeh -- unfortunately, things are

going to be pretty busy, but... okay,

let's give it a try. Four o'clock

could be good.

WILLIAM:

Right. Great.

(he hangs up)

Classic. Classic.

EXT. RITZ - DAY

William jumps off a bus and walks toward the Ritz. He carries a

small bunch of roses.

INT. RITZ HOTEL - DAY

He approaches the lifts. At the lift, he pushes the button and

the doors open. As he is getting in, William is joined by a young

man. His name is Tarquin.

WILLIAM:

Which floor?

TARQUIN:

Three.

William pushes the button. They wait for the doors to close.

INT. RITZ CORRIDOR - DAY

The lift lands. William gets out. So does Tarquin. Rooms

30-35 are to the left. 35-39 to the right. William heads right.

So does Tarquin.

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