Notting Hill Page #8

He wanders off taking off his t-shirt.

WILLIAM:

I better leave.

Anna just nods.

WILLIAM:

-- this is a fairly strange reality

to be faced with. To be honest, I

don't realize...

ANNA:

I'm sorry... I don't know what to

say.

WILLIAM:

I think goodbye is traditional.

INT. RITZ CORRIDOR - NIGHT

William walks away.

EXT. RITZ - NIGHT

William walks down the arcade outside the hotel. He is

stunned.

EXT. LONDON BUS - NIGHT

William sits alone on a bus. We see him through the side

window. As it drives away, we see that the whole back of the

bus is taken up with a huge picture of Anna.

INT. WILLIAM'S BEDROOM - NIGHT

He gets into his room and sits on the bed.

INT. SPACESHIP - NIGHT

Space Anna, in the very hi-tech environment and a serious

moods, fastens the last clasps on her uniform. She takes a

helmet type thing, and places it on her head.

INT. CONNECT CINEMA - NIGHT

Cut round to the Coronet cinema where this film is showing.

It's not full. The camera moves and finds, sitting on his

own...William. Just watching. We see a momentous flash of

light from the screen explode, reflected in his eye.

INT. WILLIAM'S LIVING ROOM - EVENING

William is looking out the window, lost in thought. Spike

enters.

SPIKE:

Come on -- open up -- this is me --

Spikey -- I'm in contact with some

quite important spiritual vibrations.

What's wrong?

Spike settles on the arm of a chair. William decides to open

up a bit...

WILLIAM:

Well, okay. There's this girl...

SPIKE:

Aha! I'd been getting a female vibe.

Good. Speak on, dear friend.

WILLIAM:

She's someone I just can't -- someone

who... self-evidently can't be mine --

and it's as if I've taken love-heroin

-- and now I can't even have it again.

I've opened Pandora's box. And there's

trouble inside.

Spike nods thoughtfully.

SPIKE:

Yeh. Yeh... tricky... tricky... I

knew a girl at school called Pandora

... never got to see her box though.

He roars with laughter. William smiles.

WILLIAM:

Thanks. Yes -- very helpful.

INT. TONY'S RESTAURANT - NIGHT

Only two tables are being used. William and his friends are

on their first course. Bernie reads an "Evening Standard,"

with a picture of Anna and Jeff at Heathrow Airport.

MAX:

You didn't know she had a boyfriend?

WILLIAM:

No -- did you?

Their looks make it obvious that everyone did.

WILLIAM:

Bloody hell, I can't believe it --

my whole life ruined because I don't

read 'Hello' magazine.

MAX:

Let's face facts. This was always a

no-go situation. Anna's a goddess

and you know what happens to mortals

who get involved with the gods.

WILLIAM:

Buggered?

MAX:

Every time. But don't despair -- I

think I have the solution to your

problems.

WILLIAM:

Really?

They all look to him for wise words.

MAX:

Her name is Tessa and she works in

the contracts department. The hair,

I admit, is unfashionable frizzy --

but she's as bright as a button and

kisses like a nymphomaniac on death

row. Apparently.

INT. MAX AND BELLA'S KITCHEN/LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

The kitchen. William is looking uneasy. A doorbell rings.

MAX:

Now -- try.

William nods. Max heads off to the door. We stay with William

-- and just hear the door open and a voice come down the

corridor.

TESSA (V.O.)

I got completely lost -- it's real

difficult, isn't it? Everything's

got the word 'Kensington' in it --

Kensington Park Road, Kensington

Gardens, Kensington bloody Park

Gardens...

They reach the kitchen. Tessa is a lush girl with huge hair.

MAX:

Tessa -- this is Bella my wife.

TESSA:

Oh hello, you're in a wheelchair.

BELLA:

That's right.

MAX:

And this is William.

TESSA:

Hello William. Max has told me

everything about you.

WILLIAM:

(frightened)

Has he?

MAX:

Wine?

TESSA:

Oh yes please. Come on, Willie, let's

get sloshed.

She turns to take the wine and William has a split second to send

a message of panic to Bella. She agrees -- it's bad.

INT. MAX AND BELLA'S KITCHEN/CONSERVATORY - NIGHT

Max walks over to the table. Honey, Bella, William and another

girl.

MAX:

Keziah -- some woodcock?

KEZIAH:

No, thank you -- I'm a fruitarian.

MAX:

I don't realize that.

It is left to William, who has been set up here, to fill the

pause.

WILLIAM:

And ahm -- what's a fruitarian exactly?

KEZIAH:

We believe that fruits and vegetables

have feelings so we think cooking is

cruel. We only eat things that have

actually fallen from the tree or bush

-- that are, in fact, dead already.

WILLIAM:

Right. Right. Interesting stuff.

(pause)

So these carrots...

KEZIAH:

Have been murdered, yes.

WILLIAM:

Murdered? Poor carrots. How beastly.

INT. MAX AND BELLA'S CONSERVATORY - NIGHT

Time for coffee and chocolates. Beside William sits the final,

perfect girl. She is Rosie, quite young, smartly dressed,

open-hearted. It is just Max and William and Bella and her.

ROSIE:

Delicious coffee.

MAX:

Thank you. I'm sorry about the lamb.

ROSIE:

No -- I thought it was really, you know,

interesting.

WILLIAM:

Interesting means inedible.

ROSIE:

Really inedible -- yes that's right.

They all laugh. It's going very well.

INT. MAX AND BELLA'S CORRIDOR - NIGHT

William is with Rosie by the door -- just about to say goodbye.

ROSIE:

Maybe we'll meet again some time.

WILLIAM:

Yes. That would be... great.

She kisses him gently on the cheek. He opens the door -- she

walks out. He shuts the door quietly and heads back into the

living room...

INT. MAX AND BELLA'S LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

Max and Bella wait excitedly.

MAX:

Well?

WILLIAM:

She's perfect, perfect.

BELLA:

And?

William makes a gentle, exasperated gesture, then...

WILLIAM:

I think you have forgotten...

(he looks at them)

what an unusual situation you have

here -- to find someone you actually

love, who'll love you -- the chances

are... always miniscule. Look at me

-- not counting the American -- I've

only loved two girls in my whole life,

both total disasters.

MAX:

That's not fair.

WILLIAM:

No really, one of them marries me and

then leaves me quicker than you can

say Indiana Jones -- and the other,

who seriously ought to have known

better, casually marries my best

friend.

BELLA:

(pause)

Still loves you though.

WILLIAM:

In a depressingly asexual way.

BELLA:

(pause)

I never fancied you much actually...

They all roar with laughter.

BELLA:

I mean I loved you -- you were terribly

funny. But all that kissing my ears...

WILLIAM:

Oh no -- this is just getting worse.

I am going to find myself, 30 years

from now, still on this couch.

BELLA:

Do you want to stay?

WILLIAM:

Why not -- all that awaits me at home

is a masturbating Welshman.

Music starts to play to take us through these silent scenes.

INT. MAX AND BELLA'S LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

Max lifts Bella off her couch and carries her upstairs.

Mix through -- William sits on the couch downstairs -- eyes wide

open -- thinking.

INT. MAX AND BELLA'S KITCHEN/LIVING ROOM - DAY

Morning. Max, all in his suit for the city... Bella kisses him

goodbye. William sees this from the kitchen. She is also

dressed for work -- and moves back into the kitchen to pack her

briefcase with law books from the kitchen table.

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