Novitiate Page #5

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Are you perfect?

No.

I don't know...

What do you mean?

Are you a perfect person,

a perfect human being?

A perfect nun?

No. Of course not.

Wouldn't you like to be perfect?

Don't you think you should at least

try to be perfect?

Yes, if I could.

So what do you think

stands in the way most

between you and perfection?

My faults.

Correct.

Because there's really no way

for any of us to achieve perfection

without first getting rid of our faults.

I guess so.

You guess what, sister?

Yes, mother, I agree.

All right. Let's hear it.

Let's hear your faults.

Well, I'm untidy.

I mean, lam... I'm messy.

I feel like a slob, and...

I space out sometimes.

I mean, in school, they...

- All right. Whoa, whoa...

- I can't. I really can't...

Hold it. Hold. Hold. Hold.

Just a moment.

Leaving clothes on the floor

and lack of concentration,

or "spacing out," as you call it,

while I agree these are all weaknesses

that you need to know about yourself,

they're also quite superficial

and won't get us very far

in this process.

So...

I want you to start again.

And this time,

I want you to fully examine

your conscience

and come up with a list of things

you do on a daily basis

to fail our lord Christ.

Um...

Ways that I fail...

Ways that I fail Christ.

Well, there's a part of me

that thinks that I'm not good enough

to be here,

that I don't deserve to be here.

I want to be pure,

and I want to be good.

But...

I don't know if that's

who I really am on the inside.

Because.

Sometimes my thoughts inside

don't match the way

i act on the outside.

And I just feel bad and ugly inside.

And I've let people down before.

I've let my parents down,

my ma and my father,

but I don't want

to let him down, mother.

I don't want to let Jesus down.

And I just hope that

he knows that I can do better...

If he'll let me.

All right, sister. Very brave of you.

And now for your penance,

I'd like to assign you

ten rosaries next week.

And I'd also like you

to starve yourself all day on Friday.

Thank you, mother.

Where are you going?

I thought that I was done.

Done? No one said you were done.

Come back here.

Now that sister has been brave enough

to share some of her faults with us,

I'd like to open it up to the room

to help point out

any additional character flaws

that they are aware of in their sister.

Well, somebody say something.

We've already established

she's not perfect.

- I saw her smile.

- What?

Just now, when you said

she did a good job,

I saw her smile.

Like she was pleased with herself.

Like it was all a joke to her.

Is that true?

No!

And how would she know

if she hadn't broken

the custody of eyes?

I didn't. You're vain!

You did! You're a liar!

How else would she know?

All right. That's enough.

Sister, your turn is finished.

However, if that is true,

and you had the nerve

to mock this process, it's pathetic.

What sort of nun are you going to be

if you can't even stand

a single moment of self-reflection

without gloating? Hmm?

So in addition to your other penance,

I would like you to use

the discipline on yourself.

What?

Was it that bad?

What do you think?

You don't have to stay here, you know.

None of us do.

You can leave whenever you want to.

And do what?

You mean go home

and tell everyone and my parents

that I failed at being a nun?

- No, I can't do that.

- Sister Mary grace did it.

It's not the same.

Sister, I'm...

I don't think you're vain at all.

I didn't know.

- L'm sorry.

-Lt's okay.

-L'm sorry, too.

- We're all vain.

She's just teaching us

how to lose our vanity.

Sisters, I need your attention, please.

As of today, we have a new member.

Sister Gabrielle Emanuel

will be joining our community.

Sister Emanuel was previously a member

of the order of the sisters of Christ

in New Hampshire.

But as she felt the culture of the roses

was more suited to her religious needs,

she has decided to transfer here.

She'll be joining us

as a first-year novice.

So let's make her feel welcome.

I guess all my friends

are just back home,

and they're doing a bunch

of teenage stuff.

They're going to the drive-in movies.

And they're going roller-skating

and watching the fireworks

on the fourth of July,

or they're going...

They're going on dates with boys.

- With boys.

- Yeah. I don't know, I...

Even.

Even what?

You know.

What?

Sex.

Come on. You can't say that

you've never thought about it before.

Everybody does.

Even nuns do,

they just don't ever talk about it.

How do you know that?

Because it's normal.

It's more normal than you think.

I don't really think about it.

So, you never even kissed a boy

before you came here,

nothing like that?

Have you?

Yeah. Only once, though.

Wait, don't tell all the other sisters,

though, please.

- I won't.

- Okay.

"Let him kiss me

with the kisses of his mouth,

"for your love is better than wine.

"Your anointing oils are fragrant.

"Your name is oil poured out on me.

"Therefore, virgins love you."

Sister cathleen.

I wish I could be more loved back.

I wish I knew for sure...

I wish we all knew for sure

that he really loves us

as much as we love him.

L just wish I could feel it more.

Don't wish for things

you shouldn't, sister.

For it is in giving that we receive,

and in pardoning, that

we are pardoned, and in dying...

Excuse me, mother.

The archbishop is here to see you.

The archbishop.

Good afternoon, mother.

Go ahead, sit.

Let me get you some tea.

- No, thank you.

- A little drop won't hurt you.

So, how are you, Marie?

You seem a little bit on edge.

Perhaps it's because I haven't been

in the company of a man for a while.

It's unusual for me.

- Do you know why I'm here?

- No, I don't.

- You have no idea why I'm here?

- No, I honestly do not.

Well, I've been hearing a lot recently

about how this order, in particular,

is having some trouble embracing

some of the changes that have been

put forth by Vatican ll.

Now, you tell me, is that accurate?

Accurate to a point.

Some of the changes we've adopted,

others we haven't.

Great.

You care to elaborate?

The memos sent over from your office

used the word "suggestion"

in regards to all these changes

we're supposed...

Well, that's amusing.

I think you're the only one

who missed the subtext there.

You see, for most of us,

the word "suggestion" is understood

as synonymous with "obligation."

Perhaps I'm not all that

attuned to subtext.

- My apologies.

- Of course.

- Are we done here?

- No, no, no. Sorry, we're not done.

Why don't you tell me

what exactly you have

the most difficulty with?

Just lay it all out for me.

I have no difficulty.

I just happen to disagree with it.

All of it.

Not to mention it's a slap in the face

that the sisters weren't given

any voice in the matter.

You honestly expected them

to have their own voice, the sisters?

We are a part of this church, too.

Marie, Marie, that's not how it works.

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