Now You Know Page #2

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Prince is pretty f***ing cool.

What?

You know what I mean, man?

Relatively speaking.

Well, at least he ain't like

that Michael Jackson character...

always doing, like,

weird stuff and sh*t.

Like now he wants to, like, f***ing buy

the Elephant Man's bones and, like...

screwin' around

with little boys and sh*t.

- You know what I'm saying.

- Yeah, nothing wrong with Prince.

Little dude with a pompadour running around

in f***-me boots singing like a chick.

Yeah, he's weird, like...

I mean...

Okay, I wouldn't hang out with him

or anything...

but at least he's married to a hot chick

and he ain't screwing around with little boys.

The only reason he's not screwing around

with little boys is he can't hold 'em down.

The scrawny f***er's

only four feet tall.

[Laughing] Michael Jackson ain't exactly

Stone Cold Steve Austin, ya know.

No, but he'd kick Prince's

little b*tch-ass.

What?

You ever see those kicks

Prince throws out on stage?

He'd take Michael Jackson out

with one of those roundhouses into his sh*t.

The Rockettes kick when they sing.

It doesn't make 'em black belts.

I never said he was a black belt. I just said

he'd kick Michael Jacksons ass any day.

- I'd put money on it.

- Please, Biscuit, you're giving me

a headache with that.

Call Don King and set it up.

But until then...

finish that up and let's do this.

You ready?

[Whispering]

Did you hear that?

You didn't hear that f***ing noise?

What was it?

It sounded...

It sounded like "When Doves Cry."

[Laughing]

You scared the sh*t out of me,

f***ing a**hole. F*** you.

% % [Whistles "Shave And A Haircut"]

[Door Slams]

[Snoring]

[Chuckling]

[Coughs]

[Sighs]

[Urinating]

[Banging]

[Light Switch Clicks]

[Banging]

[Chuckles]

- Oh, sh*t.

- [Laughing] That was so f***ing close!

Now that, my friend,

is what it's all about.

Good going with the pictures.

I like that one. It's subtle, you know.

Who knows when he's gonna

notice that sh*t? It's gonna f*** him up!

- He's gonna be calling Ghostbusters.

- [Laughs] Ghostbusters.

Oh, man, we gotta bring Jeremy with us

sometime, dude. He'll f***ing dig this.

Hey, sh*t stain, Jeremy's coming home

to get married.

I don't think he'll have time to go

breaking into people's houses with us.

Maybe we could bring a stripper

and call it a bachelor party.

I heard Clyde pimps out Bonnie

for just that kind of thing.

[Engine Starts]

Let's get outta here.

[Jeremy] Shane, how am I gonna get

through the metal detector with this thing on?

- [Shane] What, are you kidding me?

You ever see the people who watch these things,

man? They probably won't even notice.

It's scary to think they're

the first line of defense against terrorism.

Well, sad as they are,

I think they'll notice this.

- And what's Kerri gonna think?

- Hey. Hey, who cares what she thinks?

Just tell her it's a little reminder

of the kick-ass bachelor party you had.

It'll probably burn her up

that you still went through with it.

- I'm not trying to burn her up, Shane.

- Why not?

Because if I piss her off, I'll never find out

why she called off the wedding.

I can't believe you don't know.

I haven't had a chance

to really talk to her yet.

I finally get one and I've got

a bowling ball chained to my leg.

- Whoa. What? Are you afraid

you're gonna have to run away?

- I might.

Well, in that case...

- [Jeremy] You've had the key this whole time?

- What?

I broke three tiles in my bathroom

trying to shower with this.

- [Whimpering, Laughing]

- You're a prick.

Shut up.

Glad to see you're having fun.

Kerri, wait.

- Hurry up.

- [Chain Rattling]

- Kerri.!

- All right, all right. You're free.

- Hey, Jer. Don't forget to pick me up

in Jersey tomorrow!

- Kerri.

Jer!

Okay, here we go.

What the hell was that supposed to mean,

"Glad to see you're having fun"?

Come on, Jeremy. You don't think

I got the message out there?

- What message? What are you talking about?

- We're flying home for what

would be our wedding, but it's not...

and your friend is removing a ball and chain

from your ankle for me to see?

I got the message.

It was very cute.

Jesus, Kerri, that's not what that was.

That was for my bachelor party last night.

Your bachelor party?

Jeremy, we're not getting married.

Yeah, I've heard.

Let me ask you

a real stupid question.

Have you told everybody

that the wedding's off yet?

[Sighs]

[Scoffs]

Unbelievable.

Look, Kerri, l-I have told

a few people...

but every time I tell someone,

they say, "What happened?"

I don't know what happened.

So the next time somebody asks you

what happened, tell them you don't know.

They'll understand.

Don't worry, Jeremy.

I'm not gonna bother you the whole flight.

As soon as everyone gets on,

I'm gonna find an empty seat and move.

No. Kerri, I don't want you to move.

I wanna talk to you.

- Oh, you wanna talk now, huh?

- Yes.

You didn't wanna talk

the night we called the wedding off.

You didn't wanna talk

when you moved out.

Here. There's a magazine...

'cause it's too late for talking.

Hey, slick, why don't you

move on over?

Come on.

[Pilot] Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

Thank you for choosing West-To-East Airlines...

for today's nonstop flight

from Las Vegas to Newark, New Jersey.

Due to a cancellation

of last night's red-eye flight...

we're expecting a full flight

this morning.

So we're gonna ask that you move

to your seats and keep the aisles clear...

so we can finish the boarding process

and begin final preparations before takeoff.

Thank you.

[Man] Good morning, ladies.

Off to school, are we?

- [Biscuit] Would you like to take a ride?

- Do you need a tutor?

[Biscuit]

Yo, yo, yo, yo.

Yo, my name's Biscuit.

Show me your buns.

[Boy] Look at these f***ing guys.

What a life they got.

- [Boy #2] Hell yeah.

- That doesn't seem like work to me.

I'm thinking about asking them

for a summer job. How cool would that be?

Are you kidding? Justin Calderone

worked for 'em last summer.

He was in a 12-step program by August.

Look at 'em.

It's 7:
30 in the morning

and they're drinking already.

I heard by noon he had to drive the truck.

And Justin didn't even have a license.

I'm surprised they still

have all their limbs.

I mean, look at all those mowers

and Weedwhackers.

That's pretty dangerous.

It's just a matter of time.

S'up?

Sir, I'm sorry. She's gonna have

to return her seat to the upright position.

- We're about to land.

- Yeah, okay.

Sorry about the drool.

Yeah, it's okay.

Uh, sorry about the gum.

[Groans]

I blew a bubble.

You moved your head.

[Groans]

I'm gonna rent a car. I can give you

a lift to your parent's house.

No, thanks.

Marty's coming to get me.

Besides, I don't know if it's a good idea

for you to be around my dad right now.

What do you mean? Kerri, you're the one

that called off the wedding, not me.

I know, but I'm sure he thinks

it's because of something you did.

I didn't do anything. I even offered

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