Now You Know Page #9

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I don't know this guy all that well.

Who knows how he's gonna react.

But if he's as indifferent as Jeremy...

I don't know what I'd do.

Marty, please don't make

any decisions based on Jeremy.

You can't carry this weight

all by yourself.

You need someone

to help you through it.

I feel bad, 'cause in a couple days

I'm going back to Vegas.

We haven't really had

a chance to talk about it.

But you know that I'm always here

for you whenever you need anything.

You don't know what a relief it was

just to say it out loud to you.

Marty, you gotta tell the guy.

You liked him enough to sleep with him,

right? That's gotta say something about him.

I don't know.

Maybe he'll flip out and run away.

And maybe you won't fall in love

and live happily ever after.

That's his loss.

Could be a good guy, you know?

He could stand by you.

He deserves to know.

And who knows? Maybe you will

fall in love and live happily ever after.

[Clicks Tongue]

Oh, come on. You gotta stop crying.

- You look like a damn Hallmark commercial.

- [Chuckles]

% % [Funk, Man Vocalizing]

- Mom!

- [Woman Screams]

[Bottle Thuds]

That was so... wrong.

So this is what they do

for fun in Jersey, huh?

Where do you learn you have

that talent with the lit matches?

I can't believe my mom made us

throw out the coffee table!

% % [Man Singing On Jukebox, Indistinct]

I'm still gonna get the rest of my money,

right, boys?

Gil, if and when

I finally do get married...

can we skip the bachelor party?

- The same for me.

- Ditto.

I still want one.

- What? It was all right.

- Thanks, sweetie.

So, then that wasn't

a bachelor party after all.

[Scoffs]

It was supposed to be.

Jeremy over there was supposed

to get married, but they called it off.

Oh, how sad. What happened?

- Oh, it's kind of a long story.

- [Chuckles]

- She dumped 'im.

- Biscuit!

- What?

- Do you mind?

- It's not your fault. It's Kerri's.

- I know, but it's kind of personal.

When was the wedding supposed to be?

- This weekend.

- And you said her name is Kerri?

- Yeah.

- Short girl, about this height...

real pretty with shoulder-length hair?

Uh, yeah.

- How'd you know that?

- Well, I met her last night.

You did? Where?

At a place called the Three Dollar Bill.

It's a gay bar.

Oh, no. I don't think so.

You must be mistaken.

She was there with another girl...

a regular.

You know, she's real pretty...

kind of dark hair, tattoos.

- Kind of scary.

- Marty?

Yup.

Holy sh*t!

Wait!

Okay, there's...

You must be making a mistake.

When I met her, she was telling the story

of her wedding she had just called off.

I didn't hear the whole story, but she did say

it was supposed to be this weekend.

Did she mention why she called it off?

Like I said,

I didn't hear the whole story...

but she did say that

she wasn't getting enough.

- Enough what?

- I don't know.

You tell me.

[Chuckles]

All right.

This is ridiculous.

It wasn't even her.

I don't know. That's a pretty accurate

description of Kerri and Marty.

The wedding was

supposed to be this weekend.

And she did say

she wasn't getting enough.

You don't even know

what she was talking about.

I know what she was talkin' about.

You think he's hung?

Will you knock it off?

Can you imagine Kerri and Marty

doin'the nasty?

Holy sh*t! I would pay

good money to see that.

Oh. Is this Marty girl hot?

Hell yeah, and kinda scary

in an exciting sort of way.

Biscuit, shut the f*** up.

Dude, I'd be pissed too.

She never let you watch? That ain't right.

- [Gil] Biscuit, leave him alone.

- [Shane] Come on.

He just found out he turned his girlfriend gay.

For God sakes, have some compassion.

Okay, she's not gay!

Marty definitely might be, but Kerri is not.

You have to admit,

it all kinda makes sense now.

You said that she just sort of up

and changed her mind about getting married.

- And you said that Marty

picked her up from the airport.

- What does that mean?

Picking someone up from the airport is

a boyfriend-girlfriend kind of thing to do.

Okay, get all of this out of your system.

I'm going to the bathroom.

When I get back, I don't want to hear

another word about it. Got me?

Okay, but piss slow, 'cause we got a lot

to talk about. Can you f***ing imagine?

[Both Laugh]

% % [Continues, Indistinct]

[Ringing]

- Hello?

- Hey, Cliff. It's Jeremy.

- How you doin', man?

- Oh, hey, Jeremy. How are ya?

- Good. Is Kerri there?

- She's not here.

- But she'll be back, 'cause Marty's sleeping over.

- Marty's sleeping over?

- Can I take a message?

- No message. Take care.

Pictures, movies...

They may as well make money off it.

I could be their manager.

I'm tellin' you, man.

They wouldn't even have to pay me.

Just let me sit in on a session

every now and then.

- I wouldn't even touch 'em.

- Will you please, please, Biscuit, shut up.

- God, really.

- Come on. We gotta do this.

Jer, tonight we are gonna

let you lead the way. It's your call.

- I don't know what to do.

- You'll think of somethin'. Come on, boys.

- What exactly are we gonna do?

- A little Jersey humor.

- [Chuckles]

- Come on.

[Gil Whispers]

F***!

[Gunshots]

[Panting]

- [Gunshot]

- [Glass Shatters]

- [Grunting] Oh, Christ!

- Is everybody okay?

- Oh, my God. Is my ear still there?

- What?

- Holy sh*t, dude! You're bleeding!

- I can't f***in' hear anything.

- Is my ear still there?

- Let me see. It's just a scratch. Relax.

- Hey, Quincy.

Can we get the f*** outta here, please?

- Ah, f*** you.

- Is this Jersey's idea of humor? What the f***

happened to knock-knock jokes?

- That guy tried to kill us.

- I heard the bullet whiz by my ear.

Why didn't you tell me we could get shot at?

- That never happened before.

- Can we get the f*** outta here, please?

- I can't find the f***ing keys.

- Oh, Jesus Christ.

- Shut the f*** up, Biscuit.

I can't believe I just got shot at.

I bet if we would've made it to a light switch,

we would've seen Kerri sittin' with a gun.

- Or Marty.

- I can't believe you guys are making jokes.

I almost died. I saw my whole life

pass before my eyes.

Biscuit saw his whole life flash before

his eyes too. Sadly, he never does get laid.

F*** you!

You gonna start the car or what?

- Seriously, dude. What's goin' on?

- I can't find the f***ing keys.

What the f*** are we gonna do? We gonna

wait here for Bernard Goetz to come get us?

- That's it. Open the door. I'm gonna walk.

- Dude, you don't even know where you are.

It's New Jersey.

I'll walk to the nearest chemical plant.

No, seriously, dude.

What are we gonna do?

I don't know. We'll wait for a little while,

and we'll go back and try and find the keys.

- I don't know.

- You mean, you'll go back and try to find the keys.

- Damn straight.

- Oh, nice friends.

- Hey, I just met ya.

- I wish I never knew you.

Thanks for letting me stay over.

Please, Marty,

you don't have to thank me.

- Is your mom gonna be okay?

- She'll be fine.

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