O Brother, Where Art Thou? Page #13

TOMMY:

...Huh?

Everett is oblivious to the big man approaching from behind.

EVERETT:

It's us! We come to rescue ya!

TOMMY:

That's mighty kind of ya boys, but I

don't think nothin's gonna save me

now - the devil's come to collect

his due!

PETE:

Tommy, you don't wanna get hanged!

TOMMY:

Naw I don't guess I do, but that's

the way it seems to be workin' out.

EVERETT:

Listen to me, Tommy, I got a plan -

Whoosh - arriving Big Dan whips the hood from Everett's head.

Everett is exposed - in blackface.

The chanting abruptly stops. The crowd is stunned.

Big Dan whips off the other two hoods - Delmar and Pete, in

blackface.

From the crowd:

VOICE:

The color guard is colored!

Big Dan roars.

The crowd roars.

Everett screams:

EVERETT:

Run, boys!

Pandemonium breaks out, and the Imperial Wizard takes off

his red satin hood for a better view.

He is the reform candidate Homer Stokes. Next to him, his

midget also pulls of his midget hood.

Stokes is peeved.

STOKES:

Who made them the color guard?

Everett, Pete, Tommy and Delmar, bearing the Confederate

flag, are retreating across the neutral ground separating

the mob of Klansmen from the burning cross. The mob pursues

in full cry.

When the intruders reach the foot of the cross, Delmar turns.

He javelins the flagpole up and out toward the pursuing crowd.

Homer Stokes is mortified.

STOKES:

Damn! Can't let that flag touch the

ground!

The crowd gasps and watches, heads tilted back, in silence.

The only sound is the fluttering flag.

Homer Stokes' eyes rise, hesitate and start to fall as the

flag reaches its zenith and starts to descend.

We boom down with the hurtling flag toward a sea of upturned

white hoods. Dead in the middle is bareheaded Dan Teague.

His arms are tensed out at his sides like a waiting kick-off

returner. He squints up with his one good eye, judging

distance and trajectory.

From somewhere we hear a loud BOINK, as of a wire popping.

The flag flutters.

The crowd is silent.

Big Dan sets and...

WHAP! He snaps his hands up and together.

He has caught the flagpole. The flag has not touched the

ground.

The crowd cheers.

Big Dan looks around, beaming acknowledgement of the cheers.

From somewhere, another BOINK.

As Big Dan's look reaches front again, his smile fades.

His eye tracks up - up-

CREEEEEEK! The fiery cross is twisting and starting to fall.

At the foot of the cross Everett snaps its last guy wire

with his pincers - BOINK - and the four men sprint off.

WHOOOOSH - As the crowd scatters, the cross descends toward

Big Dan, frozen, looking up.

It crashes in a shower of sparks and embers that obliterates

Big Dan Teague.

A PACKARD:

It is pulling up in front of a town hall from which party

sounds filter out.

Pappy O'Daniel emerges from the car with his retinue - Eckard,

Spivey and Junior.

PAPPY:

I'm sayin' we har this man away.

ECKARD:

Assa good idea, Pappy.

SPIVEY:

Helluva idea.

ECKARD:

Cain't beat 'em, join 'em.

SPIVEY:

Have him join us, run our campaign

'stead a that pencil-neck's.

ECKARD:

Enticements a power, wealth, settera.

SPIVEY:

No one says no to Pappy O'Daniel.

ECKARD:

Oh gracious no. Not with his

blandishments.

SPIVEY:

Powas p'suasion.

PAPPY:

What's his name again?

ECKARD:

Campaign manager? Waldrip.

SPIVEY:

Vernon Waldrip.

ECKARD:

Vernon T. Waldrip.

PAPPY:

Hmm... His folks from out Tuscarora?

SPIVEY:

Tuscarora? Might be. I b'lieve they

is.

ECKARD:

Not a doubt in my mind.

Pappy is disgusted:

PAPPY:

You don't know where his goddamn

folks from; you speakin' outcha

a**hole.

ECKARD:

Well now Pappy I wouldn't put it

that strong...

As the three men make their way up the steps, Eckard's voice

is fading:

ECKARD:

...but p'haps yaw right...

In wide shot, they disappear into the building.

A reverse shows the wide shot to have been the point-of-view

of Everett, Pete, Delmar and Tommy, who peek out from the

mouth of an alley. Everett hisses his intelligence:

EVERETT:

Well, it's a invitation-only affair;

we'll have to sneak in through the

service entrance-

PETE:

Wait a minute - who elected you leader

a this outfit? Since we been followin'

your lead we got nothin' but trouble!

I gotten this close to bein' strung

up, n'consumed in a fire, 'n whipped

no end, 'n sunstroked, 'n soggied -

DELMAR:

'N turned into a frog -

EVERETT:

He was never turned into a frog!

Delmar sulks:

DELMAR:

Almost loved up though.

Everett is stunned.

EVERETT:

So you're against me now, too!... Is

that how it is, boys?

Silence. No one wants to meet Everett's eye. He is saddened.

EVERETT:

The whole world and God Almighty...

and now you. Well, maybe I deserve

this. Boys, I... I know I've made

some tactical mistakes. But if you'll

just stick with me; I need your help.

And I've got a plan. Believe me,

boys, we can fix this thing! I can

get my wife back! We can get outta

here!

Headlights play; the men suck back into the alley as a car

passes by.

The car tools up to the banquet hall and Homer Stokes emerges

with his midget. The midget tosses his balled-up white hood

into the car and both men shrug into their suitcoats.

Stokes is angry:

STOKES:

...goddamn disgrace. Made a travesty

of the entire evenin'...

They too start up the stairs. Stokes's pace is brisk and the

midget hops awkwardly to keep up.

STOKES:

...what I wouldn't give to get my

hands on those agitators. Whoever

heard a such behavior. Even among

culluds. Or mulattos, maybe - I

suspect some miscegenation in their

heritage... how else you goin' explain

it - usin' the Confed'it flag as a

missile...

BANQUET HALL KITCHEN

Everett, Pete, Delmar and Tommy are entering through the

back door. The blackface has been scrubbed off but all four

now wear long gray beards as disguise, clumsily affixed with

spirit gum. Each is carrying a musical-instrument case.

They elbow past the bustling kitchen help.

EVERETT:

Scuse me... scuse me... we're the

next act...

DELMAR:

Everett, my beard itches.

PETE:

This is crazy. No one's ever gonna

believe we're a real band.

EVERETT:

No, this is gonna work! I just gotta

get close enough to talk to her.

Takin' off with us is got a lot more

future in it than marrying a guy

named Waldrip. I'm goddamn bona

fide. I've got the answers!

HEAD TABLE:

Out in the banquet hall Penny and Waldrip sit side-by-side

at the head table, surrounded by the Wharvey gals. Penny and

Waldrip are facing the hall with their backs to the stage as

the four bearded band members - Everett, Pete, Delmar and

Tommy - take their places.

Pappy O'Daniel stands by Waldrip's chair with an arm draped

over his shoulder, leaning in to murmur confidentially.

Waldrip sits stiffly erect as he listens, frowning at a spot

in space.

Suddenly Waldrip erupts:

WALDRIP:

Well that's a improper suggestion!

I can't switch sides in the middle

of a campaign! Especially to work

for a man who lacks moral fibre!

PAPPY:

Moral fibre?!

He waves his cane, outraged.

PAPPY:

You pasty-faced sonofabitch, I

invented moral fibre!

Rate this script:4.5 / 6 votes