O Brother, Where Art Thou? Page #14

Up on the stage, the band has launched into a song.

PAPPY:

Pappy O'Daniel was displayin'

rectitude and high-mindedness when

that pencil-neck you work for was

still messin' his drawers!

A hissed Voice:

VOICE:

Psst! Penny! Hey! Up here!

As the two men continue to exchange sharp words, penny turns

her head to look steeply up over her shoulder.

Everett is up onstage just behind her. As the rest of the

band continues to play, he is parting his beard to hiss down

at her:

EVERETT:

Penny! It's me!

Dismayed, she shakes her head and tries to unobtrusively

wave him away. He is undeterred:

EVERETT:

No, Penny, listen! We're leavin' the

state! Pusuin' opportunities in

another venue! I got big plans! Not

minstrelsy; this-here's just a dodge -

I'm gonna be a dentist! I know a guy

who'll print me up a license! I wanna

be what you want me to be, honey! I

want you and the gals to come with

me!

She shakes her head vigorously and looks down at her plate

as Everett continues pleading to her back:

EVERETT:

They're my daughters, Penny! I'm the

king a this goddamn castle!

Stokes has ambled up to the head table.

STOKES:

What're you doin' here, Pappy? I

guess someone let on there was free

liquor, heh-heh.

PAPPY:

Yeah, you'll be laughin' out the

other side your face come November.

ECKARD:

Pappy O'Daniel be laughing' then.

SPIVEY:

Not out the other side his face,

though.

ECKARD:

Oh no, no, just the reg'la side -

This byplay is interrupted by a roar from the crowd.

The band has launched into 'Man of Constant Sorrow',

precipitating the huge reaction. Everett, still trying to

get Penny's attention, looks up, stunned at the ovation.

Cry from the crowd:

VOICE:

Hot damn! Itsa Soggy Bottom Boys!

Everett and the boys, still singing, exchange bemused looks.

A shrug, and they lean into the song with a will.

Everett performs an impromptu buck-and-wing, bringing the

crowd to new heights of hysteria.

PAPPY:

Holy-moly. These boys're a hit!

JUNIOR:

But Pappy, they's inter-grated.

PAPPY:

Well I guess folks don't mind they's

integrated.

Stokes is also staring at the band, frowning. He murmurs to

himself:

STOKES:

Wait a minute...

Everett catches Stokes' look. The two men look at each other,

aghast.

Stokes raises his voice accusingly:

STOKES:

...you's miscegenated! All you boys!

Miscegenated!

Everett raises the volume of his singing. Stokes cries out:

STOKES:

Get me a mike-a-phone!

A mike is thrust into his hand and he bellows into it,

overwhelming the music, which the boys eventually abandon.

Stokes continues bellowing into the silence:

STOKES:

These boys is not white! These boys

is not white! Hell, they ain't even

ol'-timey! I happen to know, ladies'n

gentlemen, this band a miscreants

here, this very evening, they

interfered with a lynch mob inna

performance of its duties!

The crowd stares at him, stone-faced. Stokes plows on:

STOKES:

It's true! I b'long to a certain

society, I don't believe I gotta

mention its name, heh-heh...

Nobody joins in the laugh; Stokes slowly strangles on it.

STOKES:

...Ahem. And these boys here trampled

all over our venerated observances

an' rich'ls! Now this-here music is

over! I aim to -

Boos start up among the crowd.

STOKES:

I aim to hand these boys over to -

listen to me, folks!

The boos are growing in volume. There are cries of 'More

music!' and even one 'Shut up, pencil-neck!'

STOKES:

Listen to me! These boys desecrated

a fiery cross!

More boos. Waldrip approaches and nudges the microphone away

to murmur confidentially in Stokes' ear. Stokes excitedly

retrieves the mike and struggles to be heard:

STOKES:

And they convicts! Fugitives, folks,

escaped off the farm!

This cuts no ice; the boos have become overwhelming.

STOKES:

Folks, these boys gotta be remanded

the 'thorities! Criminals! And I

happen to have it from the highest

authority that that Neegra sold his

soul to the devil!

He is hit by a tomato.

The boos are deafening; the Soggy Bottom Boys, sensing

opportunity, launch back into the interrupted verse of 'Man

of Constant Sorrow'. The boos become wild cheers.

Stokes is being pelted by foodstuffs. Shielding himself with

one arm, he bellows into the mike:

STOKES:

Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Is you

is or is you ain't my constichency?

INT. RUSTIC CABIN

Far up some sleepy holler. An old man in overalls and his

wife sit hunched before a crystal set, listening to the tinny

voice. They look at each other wordlessly, look back at the

crystal set.

BACK TO BANQUET HALL

Stokes is almost drowned out by the music as his midget looks

apprehensively on.

STOKES:

Is you is or is you ain't -

A disgruntled audience member yanks out the microphone plug;

Stokes continues to mouth the inaudible words.

Pappy is considering the crowd.

PAPPY:

Goddamn! Oppitunity knocks!

He starts clambering up onto the stage.

Two men advance through the clapping audience holding high

either end of an eight-foot rail. When they reach Stokes,

other audience members help load him onto the rail.

Onstage, Pappy claps along with the audience.

As they play, the band members fearfully eye Pappy, who

advances on them.

Pappy joyfully shakes his fat ass in time to the music and

does a little two-step. The audience roars. The band relaxes,

performing with even more gusto.

Stokes is being through the crowd on the rail, jeered at and

pelted with comestibles until he bangs out the exit.

As the songs rolls into its big finish the audience roars

approval, and Pappy elbows in to the microphone, beaming.

PAPPY:

That's fine, that's fine!...

He drops one arm around Everett, the other around Delmar.

PAPPY:

...Ladies'n gentlemens here and

listenin' at home, the great state

of Mississippi (Pappy O'Daniel,

Gov'nor) thanks the Soggy Bottom

Boys for that won-a-ful performance!

Cheers.

PAPPY:

Now it looks like the only man in

our great state who ain't a music

luvva, is my esteemed opponent in

the upcomin', Homer Stokes -

Boos.

PAPPY:

Yeah, well, they ain't no accountin'

f'taste. It sounded t'me like he

harbored some kind a hateful grudge

against the Soggy Bottom Boys on

account a their rough'n rowdy past.

Boos.

PAPPY:

Sounds like Homer Stokes is the kinda

fella gonna cast the first stone!

Boos.

PAPPY:

Well I'm with you folks. I'm a f'give

and f'get Christian. And I say, well,

if their rambunctiousness and

misdemeanorin' is behind 'em - It

is, ain't it, boys?

Everett hesitates, not sure where this is going.

EVERETT:

Sure is, Governor.

PAPPY:

Why then I say, by the par vested in

me, these boys is hereby pardoned!

Loud cheers prod Pappy to another level of inspiration:

PAPPY:

And furthermore, in the second Pappy

O'Daniel administration, why, these

boys - is gonna be my brain trust!

Raucous cheers.

The band beams, but Delmar leans into Everett, worried:

DELMAR:

What sat mean exactly, Everett?

EVERETT:

Well, you'n me'n Pete'n Tommy are

gonna be the power behind the throne

so to speak.

DELMAR:

Oh, okay.

PAPPY:

So now, without further ado, and by

way of endorsin' my candidacy, the

Soggy Bottom Boys is gonna lead us

all in a chorus of 'You Are My

Sunshine' - ain't ya, boys?

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