Observe And Report Page #2

Synopsis: Ronnie Barnhardt lives with his alcoholic mother. He's chief security guard at Forest Ridge Mall, where he's in love with Brandi, a cosmetic sales clerk, and gets a free coffee each day from Nell, a cheery clerk in the food court. A flasher haunts the mall's parking lot, and at night, thefts occur. Ronnie is intent on catching the criminals but has no investigative skills, is delusional about his abilities, and makes mad accusations. His bête noire is Detective Harrison, the city cop sent to investigate. Ronnie thinks he could be an officer, thinks he stands a chance with Brandi, and slowly loses his self control. Will reality set in? What about redemption?
Genre: Comedy, Crime, Drama
Director(s): Jody Hill
Production: Warner Bros. Pictures
  1 win & 4 nominations.
 
IMDB:
5.8
Metacritic:
54
Rotten Tomatoes:
50%
R
Year:
2009
86 min
$23,993,605
Website
441 Views


I'm gonna go talk to the other ladies,

who saw the guy ...

Ha!

- What? Now what?

Forgive me for saying, but you just sound so much like a cop,

it's paperwork, it's procedures, ...

What I want to know

who's gonna protect Brandi?

It's clear to me she's being targetted here.

Why are you saying that? What gives you that impression?

- A:
She's the prettiest girl in this entire mall, maybe the world.

B:
It is clear that this pervert

is some kind of a sociopathic genius...

Who plans to come back here and finish

what he started. By murdering Brandi.

Oh my god! Is that gonna happen?

- Yes, it's gonna happen.

No, that's not gonna happen.

- He will murder you, Brandi.

No, no it's not...

- Oh my god! Am I gonna die?

You will die.

- I have to get going, okay?

I will give you my card here,

call me when you're off work here.

Then we're coming to the station,

and we'll do some mugshots.

Don't worry, okay?

- Yes.

Your hair is all messy.

Talk to you soon.

Thanks, Detective.

I feel a lot better.

Yeah, we all feel a lot better. Thanks a lot.

Alright. Have a nice day.

One question, what the f*** was that, Mark?

- What are you talking about, Ronnie?

You're gonna let some f***ing hot shot, punk

come in here and take my f***ing case?

I just want this all thing to be over as soon as possible, okay?

I feel a little bit goddamn under-appreciated around here, you sellout!

Okay.

- This is my gig, not yours.

Not his!

Mine.

Okay folks, everybody listen okay. Ronnie has

a very important announcement ...

it's been a tough day for him, it's been tough for

his spirit, so everybody just be very respectful.

Thank you, Dennis.

Listen, you are all under strict orders,

to do everything in your power ...

to bring down this pervert.

You report to me and only me ...

but most importantly,

do not say a word about this to the police!

Okay, forget the police.

I'm in charge of this.

Okay. You know I have to go back to work soon cause I'm,

I'm still technically employed by ...

He's not even officially on the team yet,

and he thinks he's got it all figured out.

Here, this is how it's gonna break down.

Dennis, you're my second in command.

You're my right hand man.

- Thank you very much, I've always wanted that position.

But I didn't wanted extra pressure

on our friendship, so thank you very much.

You're welcome.

Yuens, you are my infantry,

you're expendable.

If one of you dies,

God gave me another one.

Awesome.

- Charles, your position is that of a student.

Are we gonna get paid extra for this,

because it seems like...

...that we get nothing extra.

- Let me ask you something.

How much were they paid

to storm the Normandy?

How much was King Arthur getting paid

to kill Merlin?

How much were they getting paid

to invent the television?

Nothing.

They did it because they knew it

was right. Now put our hands together for the final cheer.

Okay, you Charles.

- This is a lot for me to take in.

I just, I'm not sure if I can ...

- Don't be scared.

I'm not scared, it's just that ...

Ssshhh! Use my strength.

- What?

On three. One, two, three.

Special Unit Task Force.

F***!

Guys, hold this in evidence.

Bag and tag it, get it to my office.

I'm Detective Harrison of the Conway police,

I'm gonna need to ask you some questions, okay?

Have you noticed anything suspicious going on around here?

Someone who might have been hanging around the place,

that you've never seen before...

or what we call casing the place?

- Not really. - Suspicious, no?

What about co-workers? Any disgruntled employees?

Someone who might have been excessivelly complaining about the job? Anything like that.

Not more than usual.

- Yes, that's that.

Alright, well. Good. Thank you.

Ronnie Barnhardt, head of mall security.

Who robbed this shoe store?

No, no, I need you to wait down in the hallway.

- I really don't know who did it.

Detective Harrison here seems to be to blinded by

your beauty to ask the right questions.

Who robbed this shoe store?

Who the f*** robbed this shoe store?

That's okay. Sarah, thank you

for your help. I appreciate it. Okay?

Que pasa, Ramon?

Como?

I see.

This guy f***ing did it.

What did he say?

I don't know, I don't speak Spanish, but

you know, look at his face ...

It's reflection, it's the tone of his voice, it's...

Look at his eyes.

I know who did it.

- You do, huh? - Mhm.

Big time.

- Alright, who did it?

Check it out.

You know what those are?

- No.

You know you take a bubble bath, and cover

your little breasts with some bubbles.

Excuse me, I'm Detective

Harrison of the Conway police.

Oh sh*t! Yeah, I wasn't

touching her in bad way or anything ...

Someone has robbed the shoe store last night,

I'm just asking around to see if anybody noticed anything.

Alright you need to get the f*** out of here. Scoot, scoot.

- Have you noticed any suspicious characters hanging around the mall?

Maybe someone who looked like they were casing the place?

- No, I haven't seen sh*t.

What's up, Saddam?

- What the f*** do you want, Ronnie?

I want you to face the f***ing music is what I want!

- I have an restraining order against you ...

So why don't you take this opportunity to back the f*** up.

- Ronnie, come on, let's go.

You're taking my case, Harrison.

- Well you said you have proof!

You've got a restraining order?

Okay, sh*t, let's go.

Just look, just f***ing look at him,

that's all the proof I need.

That's racist, man.

- Racism has got nothing to do with it, you fit the profile.

Oh just like I fit the profile of the pervert?

- How do we know you are not the pervert?

My dick is brown, you dumb motherf***er!

Let's go...

- What you should do is arrest this f***ing clown. He comes here and harrases me every day.

Last week, he comes here and tells me he discovered my plot

to blow up the Chicken fillet.

Why the f*** would I blow up the Chicken fillet?

It's f***ing delicious.

Come on, come on, let's go.

- I'll go.

But before I will tell you,

I've got your number ...

so you should know that I know

that you did that sh*t.

F*** you, Ronnie.

- F*** you.

F*** you, Sadam Hussein of Iraq.

- F*** you.

F*** you.

- F*** you.

So? You find anything?

I found out quite a bit, actually.

Like what?

- A few clues ...

put up a list of suspects, and I think the answer

to the whole damn case.

We didn't find anything.

I have also found out that ...

Detective Harrison over here,

not quite a detective...

...he makes himself out to be.

Also interesting is ...

...not really enough room for

two coooks in the kitchen.

You're not a cook.

- I'm a cook.

And I'm a servant of justice.

- You are a security guard.

Hot plates of justice.

- That's it, you motherf***er!

All the day I'm listening to your bullshit!

We didn't find anything today because of you!

You'e f***ing my investigation

and you're wasting my time!

Now I gotta come back to this shithole ...

to interview the people

who might have actually done the crime!

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Jody Hill

Jody Hill is an American film director, producer and screenwriter. In 2006, he directed, co-wrote, co-produced and co-starred in his first film The Foot Fist Way, which he based on his experience as a Taekwondo black belt and instructor. His follow-up film, Observe and Report, stars Seth Rogen and was released on April 10, 2009. Hill is also co-creator, director and executive producer of the HBO series Eastbound & Down and Vice Principals. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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