Observe And Report Page #3

I hate you! I hate you so much!

You f***ing f*ggot!

You're useless,

you're a f***ing rent-a-cop!

You might think you're a real cop,

but you're not!

You know why? Because

you're a f***ing retard!

Use your inside voice, you know?

He can't hear.

Is there a recruitment office?

- Yes, there is. Come on in, take a seat.

How can I help you?

I was actually looking into requirements of what exactly does it take

to be a police officer, like yourself.

Are you interested in joining

the force?

I was kinda curious mostly, why?

Do you see something in me?

There are several tests to complete in order to be eligible for police academy.

- Lay it on me.

Physical evaluation.

- Done.

Psychological tests.

- Easy.

And a background check.

- Boom.

Now when someone is interested in a police work

they're usually recommended a 'Ride-along" first.

A "Ride-along"?

- Yes.

That's where you actually ride along a real

police officer on a routine patrol.

Ask a question, get an answer.

You have a helluva system down here.

Thank you for your time, sir.

- Well, if you are interested ...

I can give you the forms to take home,

so you can get that background checks done.

Okay.

- Cool, alright, let's do it.

Well, I don't know, mmmm, errr....

- There you go.

Perfect.

Good morning, Nell.

- Hey, Ronnie.

Cream and sugar, right?

- That's right.

I don't mean to insult you in any way, did

you do something different with the coffee?

Um, no, the same as always.

- Different roast?

Do you want me to make you a new one?

- No, no, it's okay.

Just a little different, I guess.

Funny, it feels weird, I filled out all those police application

forms last night.

They probably just stood me up a bit, you know.

- Are you applying to be a police officer?

Did I say that out loud?

Totally slipped out, don't tell anyone,

I just don't really want it getting out there you know.

I won't.

- Okay.

But I think you should know that

there is no shame in going after your dreams.

So many people do that.

And I think you should keep doing it,

no matter how many people laugh at you.

Who's laughing at me?

Noone laughs at me!

If anyone is getting fun out of other idiots,

who're trying to do what they want...

noone laughs at me.

I'm trying to fulfill my destiny,

that's not how this works.

Sorry about that, alright.

- Save your 'sorries' for someone sad.

Put your 'sorries' in a sack, and give it

to someone who needs 'em.

Not me.

I see you later, Nell.

Thanks, this ...

I see you guys later.

You guys are really cool.

Hello, Detective Harrison.

- What the f***!

You scared me the sh*t out of me, Ronnie.

What the f*** are you doing here?

You're my 'Ride-Along", you know

I figured...

your coming to the mall,

you're trying to steal my shine ...

it's only fair if I do the same to you.

- Alright, I need you to get the f*** out of the car, now.

No, can't do. Every citizen

is allowed a "Ride-Along" ...

and I am well within my rights plus I'm taking the liberty

of clearing this with captain, so ...

Here's the part where I tell you

that payback is a b*tch...

And the only thing you're left to say

after that, is...boom.

You wanna see what I do?

- I would love nothing more than to see what you think you do.

I'll show you.

See that corner there, Ronnie?

- Yeah, I see that, yes.

That corner used to be the worst corner in the city.

Nicknamed the 'Cross Roads'.

- No sh*t, I've actually heard of that.

Yeah, for sure you have.

Myself and the other officers we've worked

for years on cleaning it up.

That hasn't been easy.

We still patrol the area to keep the presence up.

Totally understand.

I use the same technique in the mall.

I'm sure you do.

I usually do the foot patrols myself.

How about you do it tonight.

You know what, I think we've got on

on a wrong foot.

This is my way of making it up to you.

What do you say?

Um, this...I'm touched.

That's, that's really, really nice of you.

That's, I'd love to, it'd be an honor.

Sir, I won't let you down.

- You ready?

I'm ready, I'll get to it.

- Go get 'em. - Okay.

Hey, where are you going?

Hey, Harrison!

Harrison, where are you...Harrison! Harrisooooon!

Okay, okay.

What the f*** am I doing...

Alright, kids. No harsh play.

Get on home. It's late.

Hey playa, are you looking for that crack?

Am I looking for that crack?

As in crack cocaine?

You just offered to sell me a schedule one narcotic.

That's felony. That's five to ten years.

Boom! You're under citizen's arrest.

- Let go of me, a**hole.

I will not let you go, motherf***er!

- F*** you!

You're gonna learn things in jail,

you didn't even know existed...

I just have to wait

for my partner to get back ...

That should be any second.

- Get your hands off him.

What?

- You heard me, that's my son, motherf***er.

This little guy over here?

- This is my motherfucking seed right here.

You see I got 'im on my motherfucking chest? - I see that.

I don't just tatoo any motherf***er on my chest.

This is my lifeline,

my legacy.

Well, I really don't wanna break this to you,

cause you seem to love him ...

but it seems like your son just tried to sell me some little drugs.

- Rico just tried to sell you some drugs?

That's some crazy sh*t.

Ain't that some crazy sh*t? - That's some f***ing...

That's not too crazy though.

Because he works for me, you stupid motherf***er.

More bad news, you're gonna

need to find yourself a new employee ...

Cause I'm taking him downtown.

- Oh, for real?

Well you're gonna need to find a new motherfucking head.

- You're right, you're free to go, kid.

Good luck with the crack.

Have a good life.

- Yeah, get home Rico.

Do your motherfucking homework.

Rico, get home!

So I'll catch you guys later. Thank you very much.

- You're sending him home?

Motherf***er, don't tell me what to do,

how may motherfuckers have you killed?

None. I've killed two,

so shut the f*** up.

Okay, oh god...

Is that a crime?

Oh, look at little b*tch.

It was a mistake, okay? Just don't do it.

- You know what I should do?

I should make you suck this gun

like a dick.

And when it comes, it's gonna blow

your brains all over street.

Look in your heart.

- Alright, pop a cap in his ass, right now.

I don't motherfucking believe this, you're gonna

seriously sit here and f***ing talk to me?

I'm just saying...

- Yeah, you just say it once.

I can not believe you f***ing

took him to the 'Cross Roads'.

That's ridiculous.

- F*** me, you would have done the same thing.

I mean it's bad enough I had to spend

the whole day with him at the mall.

And now he's gonna show up at my f***ing job.

- Yeah but he will probably gonna get killed.

Good, I hope he does get killed,

f*** him I don't care.

I'm telling ya, I hate this guy.

I hate him more than ...

You sit the f*** down, you hear me! You sit the f*** down!

Don't f***ing talk back to me!

The f*** I thought, a**hole.

- You.

I know what you did.

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