Oh, Mr. Porter! Page #7

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- Look at the weight on it. Float a little!

- Should I go to the end?

- Yes, but don't go past it.

All right. I'm ready.

- You all right down there?

- I'm up here!

- What are you doing up there?

- I'm 12 o'clock.

Well, why don't you chime?

How will I get down?

Climb out on the other wing.

I can't let go of this lever!

I'm balancing him. Climb out on

the other one and you'll bring him down.

Oh, all right. Hold on.

Hurry up. I'm cold up here.

Go on!

What do you mean, ''go on''?

I know what I'm doing.

- Hurry up.

- I am hurrying up!

- I can't hold on much longer.

- I'm coming as fast as I can.

Hurry up.

Can't somebody stop it?

I can't hold on much longer.

Go on, Harbottle. Drop off!

I can't. I shall fall in the water.

Go on! I can't stay up here all day.

I'm not a pigeon.

- Jump!

- How are we gonna get off?!

I'm slipping!

Oh, shut up.

I'm going to be sick!

I'm going. I'm going!

All right, jump!

Ooh...

Innit a good job

I thought of the hay cart?

- You might have taken the fork out.

- 'Ere, look.

Now let's get away.

Without my train? Not likely!

We'll couple Gladstone to it.

- There's an engine on the other end.

- I'll attend to that.

All right, my front man. We're ready.

Start when I tell you

and drive until I tell you to stop.

- Do you think you'll get away with this?

- I hope so, for your sake!

Get a move on. No funny business.

Go on. Get hold of that shovel.

Right, away.

Start her up.

Let her go.

- We done 'em!

- Keep moving or they'll do us.

- Get up on the carriage roof.

- Do what?

Don't argue. Take this with you.

If any of them stick their heads out,

swat 'em.

- What about that stationmaster?

- We'll collect him on the way back.

Hey, what's this?

We're going the wrong way.

100 miles an hour.

Didn't think she could do it.

That's the pressure gauge.

I know...

I was going by the telegraph pole.

- Don't touch it!

- We're coming to Buggleskelly.

- Ain't we going to stop?

- No, if we keep going, they can't get out.

We're home. Buggleskelly!

- Put 'em in the fire. Save coal.

- They're my undies!

Well, they're going in anyway.

'Ere, don't spend the coal.

We shall run out.

Oh, shut up.

We're turning to the left.

Put your hand out.

You'll pay for this hat.

And for the shovel.

Pull!

Hey. Hey!

- What's the matter?

- You're letting all the steam out!

Who is?

- It's going off the boil.

- Do something, then!

- Shoot him.

- It's jammed. Give me a rifle.

We haven't any ammunition.

Waargh!

I say. Don't look now

but there's another train coming.

Oh. Eh?!

No, no!

Cor! Dear!

That's the last bit of coal we've got left.

'Ere, 'ere, you can't burn that!

If don't get any help soon,

you're going in next.

- That can go for a start.

- How do we get help?

- At sea, they put a message in a bottle.

- We haven't got a bottle.

- Have we?

- Yes, we have! My medicine.

Don't waste time. Chuck it away...

- 'Ere, that's my medicine.

- I'm as ill as you are.

I'll uncouple the train

from the engine. Give us your hat.

You stick it out that side

while I get out at this.

Where's the bottle? Give it to me.

Ooh, a tunnel...

- Give me the bottle. I'll throw it.

- Not now! We're in a tunnel.

- Worst coal I've tasted.

- It's not coal. It's your pants.

We're coming to the station.

I'm going to throw it.

What the...?!

Calling Belfast. Urgent. Belfast!

Belfast standing by. Go ahead.

Stations stand by for altered schedule.

Stand by for altered schedule...

Stand by for altered schedule...

- Side track 24 good.

- Side track 24 good. Right!

- Hold 16 express.

- Hold 16 express? Right!

I gots her on her way to West Yard.

All cars to West Yard terminus.

All cars to West Yard terminus.

All cars to West Yard terminus.

All cars to West Yard terminus.

We're coming to a dead end.

Stop grumbling!

We haven't come to a dead end yet!

Oh, a dead end!

Well, do something!

Stop the train! Put the brakes on!

Hold tight!

- They're all in there.

- Well, Grogan, we've got you at last.

All right, all right...

- Congratulations.

- Good bit of work.

- Splendid show, Porter.

- All in a day's work.

- You'll get recognition.

- Don't thank me, thank Gladstone.

- Grand engine. 90 years old.

- And good for another 90.

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