Oh Boy Page #3

---

- Okay.

- Yeah.

A year younger than you.

And for you?

Also good. I think

that I'll be finished next year.

I'd love to consult you about it.

Gladly, anytime.

- What's your professor named?

- Hm...

- Do you mean Kollath?

- Dr. Kollath.

Very nice, very competent.

A good professor, yeah.

- Mm, because of the thing with the bank.

- Yeah.

- What was that?

- A vending machine took my card.

- Very, very strange.

- Odd.

Yeah.

- It's for the best.

- You should be going.

- Excuse me?

- Schneider, please get the car.

- I had a great time.

- Mhm, likewise.

Yeah, what're we going to do about the Bank?

- Niko, why are you lying to me?

- Hm?

I met Pofessor Kollath at

a conference in Zurich.

He told me that you dropped out

of your studies two years ago.

My question, sweet Niko, is:

What have you done these last two years,

while I've been sending you money?

Hm?

I've been thinking things over.

You've been thinking things over?

What things, might I ask?

Things about myself.

About yourself.

About everything.

I give you 1,000 euros,

so that you can think about yourself?

Yeah.

Get over it. When your mom

pushed you out, I was 24.

Then I had to make money.

I studied all day and

worked all night.

Because Niko wanted trumpet lessons.

And then he gave them up.

Niko gave up the Capoeira lessons.

Niko gave up fencing, guitar,

and piano lessons.

Why am I not surprised,

that you've given up your studies?

You're like your mother.

Don't you have anything to say?

Here.

Your account no longer exists.

Cut your hair,

buy normal shoes,

and get yourself a job.

What more can I do?

There's nothing more for you to do.

It's been great,

I had a great time.

- I need your ID.

- ID.

- The vending machine was broken.

- It may be. Your ID.

- In any case.

- Actually...

- ID, please.

- I have to buy a ticket.

But the vending machine was broken, right?

They've got to check and make sure

that these things function.

Sometimes a vending

machine is out of order.

No, please.

Then you can pick up a

ticket at the next station.

- For a legitimate ride.

- Legitimate.

- A ticket represents a contract.

- I'd love to have one, but I don't.

Use of a transportation system

without a valid ticket.

- Is 40 euros. Your information, please.

- That costs 40 euros.

Why do you repeat everything?

- I don't.

- You're like a robot.

- Your ID, please.

- ID.

- There it is again.

-40 euros and your ID.

I'm going to call the police.

Hurry up.

- Please don't fight about the ID.

- You're repeating yourself.

Good.

- So, you'd like to see my ID?

- For Christ's sake, yes.

- Why do you need to see my ID?

- We don't have to tell you that.

- Do you find this funny?

- Yes.

I don't have to state my name.

Only my badge number.

I have to identify myself

but you don't.

- Correct. Only the badge number.

- Let me guess... yours is R2-D2?

- Look out!

- Stefan! What's wrong with you today?

At some point you get a flat tire.

- Every day the same sh*t.

- I know. -Real quiet, yeah?

Stefan!

- Freeze!

- Remain standing!

- Stefan, I'm not f***ing around.

- Stand back!

And chewing gum.

And a little vodka.

- One?

- What?

- One?

- Two.

Roman Hubnik bring the mood

into the booth.

The leader celebrates

and speaks

of Peitz's error.

Of course we have to go there.

I know.

Why'd you go straight there?

It's never a surprise.

- Yes?

- Good evening, Mrs. Baumann.

- Is Marcel home?

- Why do you ask?

- Marcel, is he home?

- Yes.

Who are you, then?

A friend of Marcel.

- Could you tell him that we're here?

- What do you want from him?

- Mrs. Baumann...

- Is coming. All's good, grandma.

Is coming.

Good evening.

- What can I offer you? Sneakers?

- No, we need something else.

- Okay, how many?

- Two.

Two. One moment.

I have to weigh it out.

- Marcel.

- Yes?

- Are your friends hungry?

- Hungry?

- No.

- You?

- Thank you.

- No.

- I can make some bread.

- No, but that's sweet. Maybe later.

Marcel, can I use

your toilet?

- You can lay one down right here.

- I need to.

- It's over there.

- Thanks.

What kind of

salamander is that?

- Hello.

- Hello.

I'm Niko, Matze's buddy.

I'm Mrs. Baumann,

Marcel's grandmother.

- Are you hungry?

- Hm? No, thank you.

- I can make some bread.

- That's sweet, but I'm not hungry.

- You've got a very chic chair.

- A gift from Marcel.

- Would you like to try it out?

- No, I don't want to disturb anyone.

And now lean yourself

back and relax.

- Like this?

- Yes, just like that.

Oh. What happens now?

Wow.

Yeah, that's good.

Niko.

Niko.

- Are you coming with or crashing here?

- I'm coming.

- You can crash here.

- We've got to go.

Ciao, have fun!

Take care of yoruself, Niko.

I will.

Hello.

There are tickets reserved under "Niko. "

- You're quite late.

- We couldn't find parking.

That's unfortunate.

The show's already started.

What does taht mean?

That the show has already started.

There's nothing you can do?

- Who gave you the tickets?

- Julika.

Julika who?

Gay Julika...

"Gay Julika. "

- Hoffmann.

- Julika Hoffmann, exactly.

Okay.

Third row.

Be quiet.

The show's already started.

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Ah!

Ah.

Ah.

Uh!

There you are!

We nearly began without you.

I brought someone with me.

Sabrina, Kerstin and Stella.

I went to boarding school

with Stella.

How sweet. Now we can begin.

I'm proud of you all. Cheers!

- Cheers!

- Cheers!

- Friends of yours?

- Yeah, Malta and Niko.

And that's Ralf, writer and director

of tonight's show.

Great performance.

Thank you so much.

- You liked it?

- Absolutely.

Then why did you laugh?

Hm?

Aren't you the two

that arrived late?

- What's wrong?

- You both laughed.

- That's not true.

- I heard you.

I was so sucked into the show

that I didn't notice.

Perhaps you don't like our art,

because it's "mainstream sh*t. "

Why are you here then?

- Julika gave us tickets.

- Yeah.

It gets better and better.

- Ey.

- You got yourselves in free.

You don't have three euros for a ticket

and you laugh at us. Wonderful!

- Ralf.

- I hope, that you amused yourselves.

It wasn't really that bad.

There was just one passage

that I thought was supposed to be funny.

- Funny?

- He found it funny.

- You need to explain that better.

- What kind of vibe is that?

- We enjoyed ourselves.

- Wait, wait.

I'd like to know.

What did you find funny?

The representation of the birth.

That certainly entered

into the realm of the comic.

Then I asked myself,

with all seriousness,

why don't we come into the world

with a huge grin on our faces?

Why do we scream and cry

as we're being born?

To open up the

respiratory passage.

- Are you a doctor?

- No, but that's what I read.

- What makes you an authority?

- Nothing.

- Nothing?

- I didn't laugh.

- And you?

- I work in... well, in advertising.

- You're an actor.

- Very interesting.

- Let me guess. City theater? National?

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes