Oh Heavenly Dog

1

[Thunderclap]

#[Man Singing]

#[Continues]

[Sneezes]

Whoa-oh. Hey!

Miss? Miss? Miss?

I was here first.

[Shouting, Sneezes]

Taxi!

[Whistles]

Look. Look. Look, look, look!

The light!

- #[Continues]

- [Horn Honking]

#[Singing Ends]

[Horn Honking]

- Hi, sailor. Want a ride?

- Freddie, you're a godsend.

I've been telling you

that for years.

- Your sunroof work?

- Benjamin, it's raining!

You must have noticed.

You're all pruney.

That's not the half of it.

I can't get my umbrella closed.

- My God! How awful.

- I'm learning to live with it.

Yeah, I bet it's not easy.

People can be so cruel.

[Benjamin] How would you know?

Your umbrella folds up.

Umbrellas aren't the only

prejudices people have, you know?

- Uh, Freddie.

- Sorry.

I was just reaching

for the gearshift.

[Horn Honks]

[Horn Honking]

[Tires Screeching]

Are you sure?

It wouldn't take a minute to whip around

the block and get ya right to the door.

Freddie, somewhere out there

the angel of death's just been cheated...

and I have a feeling

he's really pissed, and I'm not

gonna give him a second chance.

Wait a minute!

You're not driving

with an amateur, Benjamin.

I'm a professional racer,

for God's sake.

Hey, I got a good idea. Why don't you

and I go into business together...

selling off shares

of your life insurance

premium?

Benjamin, your taste

is in your navel.

- How about a grand's won'th, just for me?

- Kiss off!

- [Woman Gasps]

- [Grunts]

[Freddie]

Anybody hurt?

I guess not.

I'm sorry.

- [Tires Screeching]

- No, it was my fault.

- I was running far too fast.

- No, I shouldn't have stepped

back without looking that way.

Oh, is this your...

Uh, it's okay.

I won't need it

when it stops raining.

- Could you give me a...

- Oh.

Sorry.

Oh!

Thanks for saving this.

It's a crystal wine decanter.

It's the least I could do after

dumping you in that puddle.

- You're an American.

- You're not.

Well, thanks for everything.

Say, uh...

If you're not doing

anything tonight...

Oh, uh, I'll be in Paris.

How 'bout

when you get back?

Why not?

My name's Jackie Howard.

L... I work for Time Europe.

Call me on Friday.

I'll call ya Friday.

#[Man Singing]

- #[Continues]

- [Sneezes]

#[Ends]

Oh, Mr. Browning.

Just look at you!

Oh, Mr. Browning.

Just look at you!

You're wet from head to toe.

- You're bound to catch pneumonia.

- [Sneezes]

I already have pneumonia, Margaret.

What about the phone call?

Well, if it hadrt sounded

terribly important, you know

I wouldn't have called you.

- I know.

- He insisted that he see you

today, but he wouldn't say why.

I tried desperately to find out,

but he wouldn't even tell me his name...

only that the meeting

was important and terribly urgent.

Mm-hmm. Okay,

why don't you go on to lunch.

Oh, here.

It's raining.

Do you want to have it

re-covered again?

No, I think it's all over.

Take it out and shoot it.

Orthodox funeral?

[Chuckles] Not bad, Margaret.

Orthodox funeral.

Pretty good.

#[Man Singing]

[Sighs]

[Coughing]

#[Continues]

#[Singing Ends]

[Coughing]

[Man]

Benjamin Browning?

My name is Quimby-Charles.

I spoke with your secretary.

Have a...

Have a seat.

Have a rather bad cold

I'm nursing.

I'm not doing

a very good job at it.

What can I do for you?

I want to buy protection

for someone.

I see.

Hmm?

The primary complication,

as I see it, Mr. Charles, is that I'm

not in the protection business.

I'm an investigator.

Perhaps I can recommend

a good security, uh, service for you.

I want you, Mr. Browning...

because I know you'll do it right,

and I know you'll be discreet.

You, uh...

You know my work?

[Chuckles]

I know your work permit.

It would be a shame if it were

not renewed just when you were

beginning to do so well.

[Coughs]

Are you in, uh, organized crime?

I'm in Parliament.

Six of one.

This is her name

and address.

I have reason to believe

she's in serious danger.

I'd like you

to start immediately.

- A her, huh?

- No questions, Mr. Browning.

Just protection.

The threat should be over

within a few days, a week at the most.

I'll contact you.

Can I borrow your umbrella?

[Horn Honks]

Miss Elliot?

Hello?

Miss Elliot?

Hello?

Hello?

Miss Elliot?

Hello?

Is anybody home?

Hello?

[Clears Throat]

Hello?

Miss Elliot?

Jesus.!

[Creaking]

No, young fella,

I'm afraid there's no mistake.

According to your file here,

that was definitely your N.T.T.

What's an N.T.T.?

- [Computer Buzzes]

- Natural Termination Time.

Now if you'll

just sign here.

[Beeping]

- What am I signing?

- You're acknowledging

that you are dead...

and you agree to all

the terms and conditions thereof.

Oh. I was afraid

of something like that.

- I don't feel dead.

- A mere technicality, Mr. Browning.

You are definitely D.A.D.

- D.A.D.?

- Dead as a doornail.

That paper

makes it official.

[Beeping]

Unfortunately,

you are also Marginal Material.

[Keys Clacking]

Anyway, my name is Mr. Higgins

and I'm your counselor.

- [Whooshing]

- We had it before Star Wars.

You are currently at the

Intermediate Destination

Evaluation Facility...

where it will be determined

whether or not...

you will go up

to your Ultimate Reward...

or down

to Eternal Damnation.

To help us

make this determination...

- [Computer Sliding Out]

- You will be given...

a Final Assessment Assignment

before moving on.

And that means

you have to go back.

Go back?

Your Final

Assessment Assignment...

is to go back and solve

your own murder.

Solve my own murder?

This is not a wedding ceremony,

Mr. Browning.

You are not obligated

to repeat everything I say.

[Objects Splashing]

Apparently, an innocent man

has been charged with your murder...

as well as the murder

of a Miss Patricia Elliot.

- His name is Quimby-Charles.

- That's the man who hired me.

That's not the man

who hired me.

"Socialite and lover"?

That son of a b*tch set me up.

Please watch your language, Mr. Browning.

Remember where you are.

Take this down

to R.R.D. D...

- which is the second door

on the left, down the hall.

- What's it for?

For a Returnable. You certainly

can't go back in your own body.

Ah.

- Why not?

- It has a hole in it.

Oh.

[Door Whooshing]

- Where's the door?

- Please sit down, Mr. Browning.

I just...

[Pod Engine Revving]

[Man Over P.A.]

A message for new arrivals.

This is the last day to register

for the stained glass class.

And don't forget,

you ultra-sports...

Coach Diogenes is still looking

for a few good volleyball players.

Flight number.

Welcome, and

just follow the red line.

[Man Over P.A.] Oh, I forgot to tell ya.

Due to lack of interest...

the Astral Projection

Society...

has canceled tonight's

screening of Halos for Heroes.

Just follow that red line.

- I've been there. People

have been sending me there.

- Follow the red line!

How'd you die?

Well, um, I don't feel like discussing it.

It's kind of personal.

- [Woman] Next.

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