Oh Heavenly Dog Page #6

the self-closing closet.

Somebody had to

be in there.

Bart.

That's why.

No wonder he's crazy.

He watched a dog

make a phone call.

Terrific. Why couldn't his name

be Alistair Zookey?

[Door Lock Clicks]

[Inales]

[Door Closes]

- [Floor Creaks]

- [Light Switch Clicks]

I'm sorry, Mr. Browning.

I didn't mean to startle you.

Mr. Higgins.

What are you doing here?

Why don't you stand up?

Hands. All right!

Higgins, I love ya.

You don't know how much I needed this.

I'm afraid it's only temporary.

Just while I'm here.

Makes it easier

for conversation.

Should have known. You haven't

answered my question. Why are you here?

I thought you would like to know

about the mix-up.

No Becket.

There was something in here

and that creep took it.

- What mix-up?

- It's highly unusual...

and I don't understand

how it happened, but...

the clerk at R.R.D.D.

Gave you a limited returnable.

It has to be back

by noon tomorrow.

That b*tch!

All she wants is...

Please, Mr. Browning.

We understand the problem.

We just haven't been able to find

the proper solution.

Well, I'm not it,

and I'm not leaving till I finish.

I'm afraid you have

little choice...

unless you want to remain here

until the dog's natural termination time.

I don't believe this.

Things are just beginning to happen.

- Pieces are finally fitting together.

- I am sorry, Mr. Browning.

This is not a time for confession.

This is a time for action.

Go get me an extension or something.

Now I gotta run.

Turn the lights off

when you leave.

[Phone Ringing]

- [Groans]

- [Rings]

Hello?

- What?

- I said I have your dog.

It seems the security guard

found him wandering the halls last night.

That's the one...

cute and fluffy...

[Browning]

Kiss my scooper.

Fine.

[Woman On Intercom] Mr. Becket.

Your 9:
00 appointment is here.

Thank you. When Miss Howard arrives,

her dog will be in Bart's office.

Oh, God.

I really don't need this aggravation.

[Sighs] I can hardly even rest.

Can't get my book written.

And now I'm even

talking to myself.

[Papers Rustling]

- [Bart] Good morning, Nancy.

- Good morning.

Oh, Mr. Bart.

Mr. Becket asked

that you join him.

He wants you to meet

the ambassador.

[Knocks]

There's gotta be something

incriminating around here.

Something tangible

I could show somebody.

Sheesh. Normal, everyday business.

I don't get it.

[Scoffs] Wonder what he'd do

if one ofhis birthday presents

was a bloody kitchen knife.

Hey.!

B.J., are you in there?

Mr. Bart.

- [Thud]

- Ow!

Oh, I'm sorry.

Did B.J. Do all this?

He's been nothing but trouble

ever since the first time...

Oh! Is today

Mr. Becket's birthday?

- I think you'd better go.

- Maybe he'd like a dog for a present.

Oh. You know,

I'm really very sorry about all this.

Hello, Jackie.

Oh, I'm just so embarrassed.

L-I hope we haven't been

too much trouble.

Oh, no real trouble.

Malcolm should have an answer

from Scotland Yard this morning.

Why don't we meet for lunch

and I'll give you the verdict?

- Thank you. I'd love to.

- Good.

How about Chez Rivien at 12:30?

Perfect. I'll buy you

a birthday drink.

Birthday drink?

- Yes. Isn't today your birthday?

- Not even close.

My birthday's March the 3rd.

Three-three.

Oh, uh...

[Scoffs]

I thought I saw a note in there.

I must have misread it.

So, I'll buy you

a non-birthday drink.

I accept.

- [Browning] Thanks a lot, Hermione.

- Do be careful, Mr. Browning.

You know we're not in

one of the better parts of our London.

Bloody nutcase.

[Browning] So, what does this place

have to do with Becket's birthday?

Which was six months ago.

Or six months from now,

depending on how you want to look at it.

Probably nothing.

That's stupid.

It's gotta mean something.

What would Bart make a note

about a birthday a half a year

from the day in question?

Post office.

Becket's birthday. Nah.

Why not?

Because it's too obvious, that's why.

Not necessarily.

Someone would have to see

Bart's calendar and know

Becket's birthday was March 3...

come down here

and find a post office box...

and then put

two and two together.

Or in this case

three and three.

We're going to lunch, Pop.

I said, "We're going

to lunch, Pop.!"

- Right.

- [Chuckles]

[Yelps]

Ah, you bastard!

Hello in there!

Can anyone help me?

I need help!

Is anyone in there!

[Growling, Barks, Yelps]

Stop that animal!

I said, "Stop that animal!"

"Stamps with animals"?

Yes, I believe we do.

But you don't

have to shout.

[Spitting Sound]

Uh-huh.

What the hell is it?

Come on. I refuse to believe

that the people I'm dealing with

are that redundant.

Why the hell would anyone

write "ALP" on an alp?

That lovey-dovey stuff

goes on pendants.

Like, uh,

"I'm yours forever,"

or "Andy loves Polly," or...

or "Alistair loves Patricia."

Bingo.!

I know somewhere around here

I saw a police photo of the bodies.

Now where the hell was it?

Was she wearing that thing

when I found her?

I can't remember.

Come on, Browning, think.

But did she have it on

in that damn police photo?

I don't think so.

So, someone took it off her

before that picture was taken.

Bart or Becket himself.

Okay, Alistair loved Patricia.

For at least a year

in Switzerland is my guess.

Which explains the rumors,

the painting and the statues.

But Alistair had a family

and a political career.

Patricia could ruin both.

Especially being engaged to Becket's

number one political opponent.

So, poof, no more Patricia.

But how do I prove it?

I wonder how Becket would react...

if a dog showed up with his pendant

hanging out of his mouth?

Simple.

He'd kill the dog.

Not if the dog showed up

in the middle oflunch

at an elegant French restaurant.

- [Doorman] Miss Howard?

- [Barks]

Oh, I shall be right up.

Maybe I should wait

and try to getJackie involved.

Nah. Too dangerous.

- [Lock Unlocking]

- Huh, that was quick.

- And then to Harrod's

to pick up a brace of pheasants.

- Yes, mum.

- I must have it for the party.

- Yes, mum.

You know how

Jonathan loves it.

[No Audible Dialogue]

[Screaming]

[Horn Honks]

[Women Screaming]

Great. Now what?

Now back to heaven,

Mr. Browning.

I'm afraid

your time is up.

I told you...

I told you before,

I'm not going back until I'm through.

You sent me down here to do a job,

and I'm staying till it's finished.

Now go work it out.

Hi. I was a pelican.

What were you?

Jesus Christ.

Really?

Did... Did... Did a little

brown dog run back here?

Sure did.

Damndest thing

I've ever seen.

This couldn't be

a real dog.

He came running

into this alley...

he hit that barrel,

that can back there...

and he went

right up the wall.

Straight up the wall, and he just...

just kept going right up into the sky.

[Scoffs]

Like Superman or something.

You think I'm crazy,

don't you?

F-Forget what I just said.

Look. Don't tell anybody. I knew

you wouldn't believe me. Hello, sir?

Just forget I said...

said anything about it.

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