Old Dogs

This walk is exactly

what you need.

You've been coiled up like a spring.

I don't even know who you are anymore.

It's a big meeting, I'd think

you'd be a little nervous.

I don't get nervous, Dan. I get excited.

Please don't tell the story.

You're a people person,

Charlie, that's wonderful,

but in business meetings you tell

personal items from my life,

- and it embarrasses me.

- Girls, girls, girls!

Hey! Ten miles!

I'm sorry, Lucky.

I think he's too old for sprints.

I can hear his legs clicking.

Those are my knees.

Do you really think I tell

that story for my own amusement?

I do it because it's a sales tool.

Charlie, let's win this account

on our pitch.

It's sports marketing.

You need an edge.

- I don't want to be the edge.

- Hey, mister! Little help!

Sure thing, guys!

Whoa!

- Ow!

- Oh! Oh! Oh!

- Why did you do that?

- My bad! Sorry!

- I didn't mean to.

- You're a monster!

I'm sorry!

You're allergic to anything

under four feet. You're a mess.

- Promise you won't tell the story.

- Fine. I won't tell the story.

OK, you guys want to hear

the greatest Dan Rayburn story ever?

- No, don't.

- Please. Come on, Danny.

All right. Seven years ago,

Dan's divorce had just come through

and his ex-wife had

left his heart in tatters.

And his bank account drained.

Tell them that.

He was taking it pretty well.

That's good.

You're taking it like a man!

Stiff upper lip! Getting smart!

- What?

- Oh, God!

People say I saved

my partner's life that day.

So many people get divorced.

And neither one of you wanted kids.

Now that seems like a stroke of genius!

But that didn't console him.

I had to act. I had to do something.

Mr. Good Time is going to

teach you how to live! Yeah!

- Why are there two pieces of luggage?

- Oh, just a little jaunt.

Nothing too wild.

Hey, Mr. Good Times.

You said we'd come to Miami, we did.

Can we go home now?

Whoa!

- Whoa.

- Yeah!

Does this drink

come with a diving board?

It's insane! Just a sip, I think.

So as a best friend, I felt compelled

to give him a gentle reminder

of what it was like to be free.

- I want it to say: "free man!"

- Free man.

Big letters, right across his chest.

"Free man!" Comprende?

Oh. Good night, nurse.

I could have sworn

that guy spoke English.

It was supposed to say "free man."

Fremont, Fremont, Fremont...

Free man!

It's funny, guys.

Come on. They love it.

Then the unexpected happened.

Look at all the babes.

Don't look, don't look. Now look.

Fourteen hours after

signing his divorce papers,

Dan met Vicki, the girl of his dreams.

- Whoa!

- Whoa.

Girl in white,

eleven o'clock.

- Yeah, but...

- Oh, give her the Queen's wave.

- No, the other Queen.

- Oh. Hello.

She was traveling

with a friend.

I thought maybe the friend

was a magician or a jazz dancer,

because of the way

she was moving her hands.

Turns out she's a hand model.

- ... hand model.

- A hand model?

They model with their hands.

So, within minutes,

Dan is back to his old self.

No, scratch that.

He's better than his old self.

Charlie, look at these pictures!

My whole life I've never taken

a good picture.

No matter how

they toss the dice, it had to be

I'd never seen him

so free, OK?

I mean, so impulsive.

He was a changed man.

Or maybe not so changed.

It's hard to explain to a guy

who's never had an impulsive moment

in his life there's

two kinds of impulsives.

The good kind, OK,

but this is plain stupid!

That was so romantic.

But when he woke up, he remembered,

"I was just married 14 painful years

- and I've gone and done it again!"

- Whoops.

To a woman that

he barely knows. His "soul mate."

...soul mate.

- Soul mate!

Soul mate!

They never laugh this much.

So, a few hours later,

my buddy here, my hombre,

is the only guy I know that's been

divorced twice in a 24-hour period.

Now, that's a true story.

Fremont! Fremont! Fremont!

- It was supposed to say "free man."

- But it didn't. It said "Fremont."

It's a big mistake.

It's on his chest forever.

I don't really think that story

honors the feelings I had for her.

No, I'm sorry.

Dan, people love that story.

So just get up there and do

your thing. Because I killed.

Banzai!

Ixnay on the banzai.

Nishamura Media Group

entering the US sports market

is a huge deal.

Now, I know you've met

with larger groups,

but I'm about to show you

why working with a boutique firm

run by two seasoned pros

is a smart move for you.

Forty-seven million dollars

over five years.

Man, you better shape up

on your Japanese,

'cause you're going to Tokyo, baby!

Thank you. This is the kind of

opportunity I've been looking for.

And you will not be sorry.

In college my nickname was "GT."

- That's "Go To." You go to me.

- What's the matter with you?

Biggest deal of our lives

isn't exciting enough for you?

So it's a done deal now?

There are a few small details.

Like next week when Nishamura

and his son come to town

we have to win them over

on the golf course.

- That'll be easy.

- I'm great at golf.

Then, two weeks from now,

we have to make a presentation

- to their executive board of directors.

- Done.

All right, sunshine.

What's really wrong with you?

I was not divorced twice, OK?

One of them was an annulment.

- Look at that face!

- Charlie, don't!

Look at this, Craig.

You know what this face is?

- The face of a winner.

- This face is willing to hibernate

for six months to make the

best deal he could possibly make.

And I don't care who knows it. A toast

to my best buddy and business partner,

- Dan Rayburn! Whoo!

- Whoo!

Arigato!

It all comes down to this.

- I don't think so.

- Three, two, one.

This one's the shooter.

- Let's see it.

- Golden moment.

- Oh. Uh-oh!

- Oh, you're just sinkin' em.

Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh.

Let's hit it. There you go.

- It's a leaking dog.

- Yeah.

That's a... That's a neat trick.

How old is that dog?

I lost count. Vet said it was a record.

You might want to put

a diaper on him, or underwear.

- Yo.

- Hey. Where you been?

Japanese real estate agents.

Some apartments for Craig-san.

Thank you. I just want to find

something authentic.

I've been getting so immersed

in Japanese culture,

by the time I hit Tokyo, they're

going to think I'm part Japanese.

They'll be like, "Who is this local?"

I don't care if you stay on the top

of Mount Fuji. Just bring home the yen.

- This can't be.

- What do you got?

- Vicki.

- Vicki who?

South Beach Vicki? She's in town.

- She wants to see me. Today.

- She just called you out of the blue?

- No.

- Dan? Dan?

You know last Christmas

when I moved in to the condo?

I was feeling really lonely.

And maybe I wrote a seven-to-ten-page

single-spaced letter.

Oh, Dan.

You've been using your feelings

for this woman

to avoid your life for seven years.

I set you up in the most exclusive

adult-only condo.

You've never been to theme nights.

You never once went to the

Sunday morning schmooze and schmeer.

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