On Golden Pond Page #6

- How did you get Ethel, anyway?

- What?

I sent away

for her.

- Two box tops from Quaker Oats.

- Come on.

Don't bullshit me, man.

I met Ethel

when I was a principal...

and she was

a substitute teacher.

She was the prettiest thing

I'd ever seen...

so I told her she made

my heart go pitter-pat.

- She fell in love with me immediately.

- Ha, ha!

- Is that the way Norman got you?

- Don't be silly.

He didn't get me at all. I won him

in a contest. He was the booby prize.

Has he got you cleaning

those stupid fish?

That's right. He cleans the stupid ones,

and I clean the smart ones.

Fortunately, the smart ones

are too smart to get caught.

That's why

they're in schools.

Come on in, Norman.

Get me a fire going.

It's going to be a bit nippy tonight.

You hear that, boy?

Get a fire going.

Norman, for Pete's sake.

Billy doesn't have

to do all your chores.

What's the point of having

a dwarf if he doesn't do chores?

- Damn!

- You got the match backwards.

Want me to do it?

I think I know how to light a fire

for Christ's sake!

What are you reading?

A Tale of Two Cities.

Oh, trs bien,

trs bien.!

Norman! Norman,

you've set the house on fire!

- What the hell's going on?

- Get a bucket!

- What?

- Get a bucket!

Good for you, Billy.

Good for you.

Let's have the screen.

The screen.

Yeah. That's all right.

That's all right.

For God's sake!

You made a hell of a mess!

- What?

- Norman, he just...

Don't yell at me, man.

I guess it's not safe

to have me around here, is it?

What are you staring at me for,

you little son of a b*tch?

You mustn't let Norman

upset you, Billy.

Sure.

He wasn't yelling

at you, you know.

Sounds like he is

yelling at me.

No. He was yelling at life.

What the heck

does that mean?

It means he's like

an old lion.

He has to remind himself

that he can still roar.

Billy...

sometimes...

you have to look hard at a person...

and remember...

that he's doing

the best he can.

He's just trying

to find his way, that's all.

Just like you.

How's my little petunia?

Hey, Norman? Norman?

Hey, Norm? Yeah, listen,

I was wondering.

Can I take the Thayer IV

for a little spin?

- Absolutely not!

- Aw, come on.

I know how to drive.

I think it would

be all right.

- Don't you, Norman?

- Good God!

Can you be careful?

Oh, sure.

Norman, what the hell

are you doing?

Oh, come on.

It's really happened,

hasn't it?

You have

lost your marbles.

Here.

I'll get the big net.

You two

will be sorry.

The loons have been

calling for rain all night long.

"Rain! Rain!

Bring us the rain!"

That's what

the loons said, huh?

Well, that's French, you know.

It means "I'm coming."

I'll get la porte.

Oh! No, no. No.

I'm sorry, Ethel.

Allow me.

I don't believe it!

Yeah. Norman and I

fixed the mother.

Ah! Oh, great!

This is the only place we haven't looked

for the stupid son of a b*tch fish.

Might as well

give it a try, huh?

They call this

Purgatory Cove, boy.

See those rocks?

They eat boats.

- Do you know the way?

- Of course I know the way.

Get up on the deck.

Tell me where the rocks are.

Come on. Up there.

All right?

- Okay.

- Here we go.

- Okay, there's one coming up.

- Which side?

- The left.

- "Port," boy.

Okay, port.

All right,

another one on port.

Oh! There's one

coming up right here.

Oh! Sh*t!

The starboard. Starboard.

Okay, there's one.

Port side.

All right, starboard.

Over there.

Oh!

Now, doesn't this look

like the ideal hiding place...

for a crafty old

son of a b*tch?

Well, the fish aren't just

gonna jump in the boat, you know.

Get it in gear, turkey!

Gettin' dark, Chelsea.

Who are you calling Chelsea?

I'm Billy, remember?

Hey, come on, man.

Hey, are you okay?

Of course I'm okay!

Okay.

Hey, we better hurry up

and catch Walter, huh?

I mean, I'm not

gonna be here much longer.

Yeah. Neither am I.

I'll miss you, Norman.

What?

Norman!

Hey, Norman, look! Sh*t!

I got the mother!

I got 'im!

Well, get the net,

Norman!

Get it in gear,

turkey!

I got 'im!

What the heck

is that?

Good God!

It's a dead loon,

Norman.

The poor thing.

Oh, it smells too.

Here. Hold on.

Let it go.

Let it go.

Hey, Norman?

Are you afraid

of dying?

What?

Are you afraid to die?

What the hell kind

of question is that?

I was just wondering,

that's all.

Well, I don't know

why everybody...

has to talk about

everything all the time.

Let's go home, boy.

Are you sure we're gonna

be able to get out of here?

Course we can.

Pull up the anchor.

Get up on deck.

All right,

get back here.

I forgot you're

a hotshot boat driver.

Here, you take the wheel

and I'll navigate.

Yeah?

Well, you know...

I'm not afraid

to do this.

I know. Just take us real slow.

Do what I tell ya.

Okay, turn her over.

All right,

take it forward.

Now give her

a hard left.

Okay. Port.

Okay, good.

All right,

starboard again.

Okay, port.

To the left.

God! Reverse!

Full throttle, reverse!

- Reverse!

- God!

Reverse!

- Chels! Chels!

- Norman!

Norman, please!

Oh, God, Norman!

Oh, Norman, I'm sorry!

I'm sorry!

Hold on!

I'm gonna bring you

over here.

Norman, grab on.

Grab on to the rock.

Grab on to the rock.

Grab it.

Get up there.

I'm sorry.

Billy!

Billy!

Come on, now.

Hold on to the rock.

Oh, Charlie,

thank God you're here.

- Come on! We're going for a ride.

- What?

Norman and the kid

are out on the lake.

They should have been home

hours ago. Hurry up.

I'm coming.

Norman isn't ever late.

- I don't understand it.

- Oh, he'll be all right.

Ethel, we've been

back and forth here three times.

They must have

pulled up somewhere.

You don't suppose he would have

gone in there, do you, Charlie?

He's not that crazy.

Yes, he is. Let's go.

I'm not gonna drive my boat

into Purgatory Cove.

Yes, you are, Charlie.

I'll point the way.

Holy MacKanolly.

It's full of rocks,

Charlie. Look out.

- To the left.

- Yeah.

- Okay.

- Yeah.

- Okay.

- Am I all right?

Keep to the right.

Keep to the right.

- Keep to the right!

- All right! I am.

That's better.

That's better. Okay.

Straight ahead.

- Do you see anything?

- Lot of rocks here.

Oh, Lordy.

Norman Thayer, Jr...

where the hell are you?

Charlie!

There they are, Charlie!

Oh, my God!

Norman!

Ethel, you shouldn't

be out here this time of night.

You poop!

You goddamn poop!

How are my boys?

I'm off to the woods

to find mushrooms...

or flowers

or something.

You gonna be all right?

Bye-bye.

Hey!

Where do you juvenile delinquents

think you're off to?

Norman, I thought you were

in too much pain to exert yourself.

What? Well, I am.

I'm just doing this

for Billy.

Give the poor boy another chance

to catch a fish.

We've been doing goddamn

jigsaw puzzles for a week.

You will stay

in our cove, won't you?

There aren't any trout

left in our cove.

Norman, we have enough

trout left in the fridge...

to last us six years.

Yeah, but we haven't

caught Walter yet.

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